Girls, I am sitting in my office this afternoon on the verge of tears. I wish I could pin point something in particular that is wrong, but I cannot. All I can say is that I woke up this morning with a horrible cloud of darkness around me. I really don't even know how to describe it. I am exhausted and horribly sad. My heart is pounding and I am finding it difficult to breathe normally. I kind of feel like there is a heavy weight on my chest, preventing me from getting air. Kind of like someone is holding me under water and I cannot get out from underneath it. And, this entire time, everything I hate about myself is running through my head like one of those running news streams .
I am sorry; I don't mean to scare you or bring you down with me. I don't know what this is, or what brought it on, but I want it GONE. I have been sitting here, reciting verses in my head. In particular, I have been saying these verses from 2 Corinthians over and over again:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all‑surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9.
If you happen to read this, would you please pray for me. I am so sorry about being a downer, but I really felt I should tell y'all how I feel. Maybe getting it out in the open will help it go away. I love praying for each of you, and I thank you for praying for me.