Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Who Put My Life on Fast Forward?

Today is somewhat of a continuation from yesterday's post. Remember how yesterday I was writing about how I had no idea where time goes? Well, today I need to discuss the time sucking vortex that I'm fairly confident I have fallen into. Some of you might know that I am an obsessive list maker. I LOVE to make lists. In fact, I make lists about the lists I need to make. Think I'm kidding. I'm not. Just ask George. He'll tell ya. So, anyway, it probably goes without saying, but I make many to-do lists. I have a to-do list for work, a to-do list for George, one for W., and three or four for me. You know, one for each personality--Mom Heather, Studious Heather, Super Chic Heather. (Hey, I never said all my personalities were sane.)

So, anyway, now that it is finally starting to feel like spring up here in the tundra (well, OK, it sometimes feels like spring), I decided to start my spring cleaning. And, all I can say is scary, very scary. I started my spring cleaning by cleaning my office at work. After all, that's just one room. How difficult could that be, right? Let's just say that I'm very thankful no one dropped a lit match in there because with all the paper, I probably wouldn't be sitting here right now. There was lots of paper, lots and lots of paper. And, among the debris, I ran across To-Do List that I had made for myself several months ago. The scary thing was that there were several things on that list that I still, many months later, haven't completed. For example, I still haven't gotten the dent in my car fixed, and I still haven't rescheduled the dental appointment I had to cancel. These are all things that I had planned to do. I figured I'd get around to them, and to be quite honest, I hadn't realized that so much time had passed since I had placed these tasks on my list. How does this happen? Does this happen to anyone else? Is this why I feel like I am perpetually stuck on fast forward?

And, it's not just tasks, it's other things, too. Like keeping in contact with my friends. Sometimes I'm on top of it, and I'm great about keeping in contact. Other times, not so much. For example, I had dinner last night with my friend Sara. Sara and I have been friends for almost a decade, which is not an insignificant amount of time, and we've been through a lot together. Today is her birthday (oh yes, she will always be X days older than me--see the use of roman numerals? I'm practicing!), so we went out for some Mexican food last night. It dawned on me as I was driving to the restaurant that I hadn't seen Sara since Christmas. Christmas!!!! What!!! I thought to myself, "There must be some mistake. Surely, I have seen her since Christmas." But, no. I hadn't. How does that happen? I mean, how does life just get in the way? Is it just me, or does anyone else out there have this problem, too?

Maybe it's that I am not intentional enough? Maybe I just kind of let life happen? And, that's very out of character for me. Any of you who know me well, know that I am not a passive person. So why am I passive about this? Or maybe it's because I'm over committed? Maybe I am so "tightly" scheduled, that I cannot possibly fit everything in?

In reality I think both are true. I think that I need to be more intentional about doing things that need to be done. I also think that I am over committed, and I'm primarily over committed with stuff that, when it comes right down to it, doesn't matter. Like the 900 hours of T.V. I DVR every week. I mean, seriously, do I really need to watch every episode of Law and Order 100,000,000 times? I think I know some of the episodes by heart, and that, my friends, is just sad.

So, I think that my next step in my spring cleaning will be to take a long, hard look at my life and my schedule. I think I need to clean out a few things. Then, I can have more time for the important people and things in my life. I have many friends that I haven't spoken to or seen in quite some time that I need to touch base with. I also have some precious friends that I do see often, but that I would love to spend more time with, so I could be there for them even more than I am now. And, I think that would be the best birthday present I could wish for. Well, right behind world peace and universal map distribution.


Julia said...

I love to do lists...and luckily I married a man who loves to make them too! haha.

Next thing to add, try chocolate biscuits :)

It's fun to know we have something in common now!

Julie said...

I love lists!! I have one in my purse and I've had a "project" list started for 1 week. It's up on my computer now. I just have to finish the list!!!!!

Caroline said...

ok i am so not a list maker but.......i do sometimes need them more than I think. I love the question you asked....

Maybe it's that I am not intentional enough?

it is a struggle for me to. I want to be intentional and I have to be reminded about that because i love people but i also love being alone. so I have to pray about a healthy balance you know.

Girl get excited about your birthday!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I love lists because I LOVE crossing things off of them. I have even been known to write things on my list after I have done them just to cross them off. SO sad.
Perhaps I should get the book I borrowed back to you, "How did I get so Busy". Is this a hint?