One of Those Days

So, I'm definitely having "one of those days." You know, one of those days when nothing seems to be working out the way that it is supposed to work out. Or, at least, the way I think it is supposed to work out. For example, I can't get it through my head that it is Tuesday. I continue to think that it is Monday. That's probably because my doctor knocked me with some high-powered sedative yesterday morning, due to one nasty migraine, and I slept through it--all the way through it. My mix up in the days wouldn't be such a problem if it weren't for pesky little things called deadlines and/or appointments. For example, since I thought it was Monday, I forgot that my ten-year old had a lunch meeting for one of his ELP activities today. So, I not only forgot to send him a cold lunch, but I also forgot to pack his binder with his presentation materials in it.

I also, due to my oblivion toward the outside world, did not realize that it had snowed. So, I stepped outside this morning onto my not shoveled front porch, wearing peep toe heels. All I have to say is very cold, very, very cold.

I also can't seem to concentrate on anything today. Instead, I just want to crawl into a ball and take a nap under my desk. Unfortunately, I think they might miss me. I've been drinking water like crazy to help me stay awake, but it's not helping. I'm still sleepy.

My sleepiness from the sedatives is compounded by the fact that I ate comfort food for lunch. You know, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and macaroni and cheese. It was fantastic, at first. You see, because I was sleeping yesterday, I didn't eat anything, and thought I was famished. But what I didn't realize is that I had a bad case of enlarged eye disease--where your eyes are bigger than your stomach. So, now I'm not only sleepy, but I also want to unbutton my skirt (Unfortunately, also not appropriate...).

And on top of this, it still feels like a Monday!!!! Today, I just can't win. Here's to a better Tuesday. Oh, I mean Wednesday!

Busted!

OK, I am so busted. 900 bright yellow flyers have a tendency to give away a surprise. You see, it's that time of year again. It's time for the Spring PTA pancake event. And, I'm the chair of that event. That means that I will be helping out with the pancakes. And, that also means that my most precious, wonderful significant other will be there helping, too. (Yes, honey, that is definitely me sucking up to you!)

At this point, you might be wondering why I am proclaiming that I am busted. Well, that's, um, how do they say it, complicated. It's complicated primarily because I was supposed to get us out of pancake duty this time. We have chaired the pancake event the last three times, and SB, "Sausage Boy," (A.K.A. George) is tired of serving greasy sausage and even more tired of cleaning up gallons of maple syrup. I try to remind him that we are doing it for the kids. I mean, after all, everyone knows that they are our future (Ooh, bad Whitney Houston reference...Sorry!). But more importantly, we do it for one extremely excited ten-year-old boy. And, that is what saved me from Sausage Boy's wrath last night when I asked him to go to Kinkos and make 900 flyers for the pancake breakfast. Well, that and the fact that he loves me. As Sally Field would say, He really, really loves me! In fact, he loves me enough that he made all 900 copies, and after only a little complaining, didn't say anything else about helping out with the pancake breakfast. So, I guess we're on. I did promise, however, that next year I wouldn't sign us up for the pancake dinner. But, I didn't promise that I wouldn't sign us up for something else. (Wink, wink!) Just kidding. After all, I do want to see my fifth grader graduate from elementary school!

So, bottom line: Today I'm thankful that Sausage Boy loves me. I don't know what his secret attack would be (Is it painfully obvious I only have boys around???), but I fear it might involve maple syrup. And, I wouldn't want to have to get that out of my hair!

Roller Coaster of Love

Whew! I can't believe it's been almost a week since I last posted anything. (Sorry, Melissa!) I wish I had some really great reason why I haven't posted, but I really don't. Just exhaustion, or maybe just laziness...Hmm, I guess that might be a matter of perspective. Anyway, here I am.

In case you were wondering about the hostile takeover, I survived the battle. My mother should be boarding her plane shortly. But, I didn't survive without some major battle wounds. My mother and I didn't make it through the entire visit without getting into a major argument. It happened Monday night, and it started over something relatively insignificant. But, it really doesn't matter why we were arguing. We just were.

My mother and I have not always been very close, but we've tried harder in the last several years. We definitely haven't always had a very good relationship. I guess you could say that we have baggage...lots of baggage. And, even though most of that baggage is from the very distant past, it somehow pushes its way to the top every time my mom and I argue. What makes it even worse is that it isn't pretty baggage. In fact, some of it is very ugly. So ugly, that when it gets brought out into the open, it conjures up such awful memories and feelings, that I can barely function. First, I get angry and indignant, and then I get sad.

So, my question is, how do you lay your baggage down? I mean I thought I had forgiven my mother for these things, but now I'm wondering, have I really forgiven her? If I have forgiven her, why do the memories still have such an affect on me?

What makes everything worse this time is that she is leaving before we really get an opportunity to work through this issue. And, now that she's leaving, I'm feeling a whole different slew of emotions. I feel guilty for all of the things I thought and said about and to her. I remember good times we had together during this visit. And, it just stinks!

I don't know if you have issues like this with anyone in your lives. Maybe I'm the only one? You see, with me and my mother, it's like we're on a roller coaster. Our good times are really good, but inevitably, our bad times come, and when they do, they are really bad. And often it feels as we are going around and around the same upside down loop. I don't exactly know what the solution is. I just know that I want to try to get off the ride, and on to something else. Like maybe the skylift. It's high off the ground, but it's level, and it's always moving forward. I don't know. Maybe the skylift isn't possible for us, but I'm hopeful. And even if my mother and I will continue to ride the roller coaster together, I'm encouraged by the fact that despite whatever else it might be, it is a roller coaster of love.

Yes, I do have that song in my head, and now so do you! Roller coaster of love, roller coaster, ooh ooh ooh...

Day Fourteen

Well, it's day fourteen of the hostile takeover at our house. That's right, my mother has been here fourteen days...and counting. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my mother. I just don't love living with my mother. As she likes to say, she doesn't come to visit. She comes to take over. (You know, it's her way or the highway, yada, yada, yada...) And, ain't that the truth. In case you are wondering, even though the natives out number the evil dictator and her army (read: her mouth), we are steadily losing ground. Some of our troops are so worn down they have surrendered, and some have defected (due primarily to Granny bribery). So, its not looking good. Can we make it another week???

I am jesting, for the most part, about the battle raging at our house. But, it is so difficult to have houseguests for an extended period of time. At some point, you just want things to be back to normal. So you can go back to your bad habits...habits you must hide from guests. You know, like eating in front of the tv, or singing 80s music (loudly) in the shower (I mean who doesn't like Air Supply?), or gasp!, staying in bed past 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday....

I guess I need an extra shot of patience today. I do count it a blessing that my mother loves me enough to come visit me often. It's just difficult to see the big picture sometimes. Especially, when I'm looking with my own eyes. Anyway, it's actually quite amazing (thank you, Lord), that my mother and I have not gotten into a major fight since she has been here this visit. And, since today is Valentine's Day after all, maybe we can make it one more day. And one more after that...Who knows. With God, anything is possible.

So, Happy Valentine's Day! Go call your mother!

The Power of Girlfriends

I am in a much better mood than I was the last time I posted. And, I'm in a good mood despite the fact that it is Monday, PTL! I have no doubt that my positive mood is a direct result of the time I got to spend with my girlfriends last night. They are five truly amazing, wonderful women, and I am so blessed to have each of them in my life.

As I look back over my life, I realize that God has blessed me over and over again by bringing wonderful girlfriends into my life. I still clearly recall when I met my first girlfriend, Randee. I was three and she was five. Randee was riding her bicycle up and down our street. When she stopped at the bottom of the hill, I ran up to her and said, "Hi, I'm Heather. Do you want to be my friend?" It was the start of a wonderful friendship.

I remember having great friends in elementary school, in junior high and high school. I was surrounded by my girlfriends, and we did everything together. I even made some of my best friends in college and law school, but soon it all changed. I don't exactly know how, when or why it happened, but at some point I lost touch with my girlfriends. I could blame it on many things, but primarily I have no one but myself to blame. I became wrapped up in myself. I was too concerned about my career track. I thought there would always be time for everything else, later. Unfortunately, it took my father's death to teach me that later doesn't always come. We are only here on this earth for a moment, and I had lost sight of that fact for a long time.

Since my dad died, I've made a conscious effort to reconnect with my girlfriends. What I didn't realize, however, is how much harder it is to make connections with people later in life. Fear prevents you (and by you, I mean me. Maybe someone else can relate?) from saying, "Hi, I'm Heather. Do you want to be my friend?" And, life is hard. You just have more responsibilities than you did when you were 3, 13, or even 23.

Some times I have had success reconnecting, and sometimes I haven't. Most of my girlfriends have moved away and are scattered all over the country. It's hard to stay connected when there are so many miles between you. But, I have come to truly believe that it is worth the effort.

And God is faithful. Not only has he allowed me to reconnect with my girlfriends who live far away from me, but he has also blessed me by bringing some terrific women into my life. Women who are wonderfully different from me. Women who are unique and awesome! These are the girlfriends I had the absolute privilege of spending time with last night. My friendships with them are just beginning, but I hope that they continue for many, many years. I have so much I can learn from each of them. So, to Shana, Jodi, Sarah, Julie, and Melissa. I love you all, and I am blessed to call each of you my friend!

Stop the Super Woman Madness and While You're At It, Get Rid of Wonder Woman Too!

Word of Warning--My life is not filled with puppies and/or daisies today...I am in a BAD mood.

So, I've had it! I just read a magazine article wherein the author, a professional woman, gushed about how wonderful her life was, and how she managed to "balance" both the professional and personal parts of her life. Now despite her stated thesis, I thought it was very interesting that this woman spent three-quarters of her article writing about (1) how much she loves her job, (2) how she treasures every minute she gets to spend with her kids (all the while stating that she doesn't get to do as much with her kids as she would like), and (3) how much she and her family eat out, while wishing she was able to cook more. This woman also took time to point out that she almost never has any time for herself, except her morning trip to the gym (before sunrise!). But the most interesting part of the article was contained in the last two, very short, paragraphs. At the end, and in the biggest understatement of the article, the author points out that her husband stays at home full-time with their kids. Interesting...

So, I only have one thing (well, I'm sure I could come up with more, but I'll try not to) to say about this. What is the deal with this so-called concept of "balance" anyway? It appeared that this woman was attempting to say to her colleagues, "See, I AM successful...I CAN do it all." And, isn't that the kind of "balance" the world tries to tell us is not only desirable, but also attainable and required of women? The only problem was that if you looked between the lines, the subtext was not success, but, instead, was guilt, frustration, and even a bit of anger. By her own admissions, she wasn't doing it all. At least that is what I read.

Now, you may wonder how I am qualified to give an opinion on this article. Well, I will say that I was not the author, and I do not personally know this woman. So, in that case, you are correct. I am not qualified to render an opinion. But, I am also a professional woman, and one who works in the same field as the author of the article. So, I, too, have a full-time (plus) job that keeps me busier than I'd like to be. Also, like the author, I have a child that likes for me to come to his band concerts and holiday parties at school. In addition, I am part of the "Sandwich generation," having the responsibility of caring for some older relatives. Finally, I also have a significant other who helps (in his own way--which is definitely a post for a different time) me keep it together on a daily basis. He doesn't stay at home, but he wishes he did! So, to the extent my life is comparable, I have some understanding of this woman's life. And, honey, there ain't no balance in my life! The only thing I attempt to balance is my checkbook, but even that can be too daunting! But, enough about me, and more about my opinions!

My point (I think there is one in here somewhere) is that "balance," as the world defines it, is a big, fat myth! We can't do everything; it's just not possible. When we try to do it all, we fail, and we do a disservice to all those around us because what we do accomplish, we don't do well. And, as for me, I am FED up! I am sick of magazines, books, and tv programs telling me that maybe, if I tried just a little bit harder, I too, could achieve "balance" and Super Woman status. I've tried the world's way. I've tried to organize and schedule and organize some more. I remember studying for the bar exam, baking chocolate chip cookies, and trying to learn the Blue's Clue's planet song with my then three (3) year old son. The result: I did pass the bar exam and learn the Blue's Clue's planet song. ("The sun is a hot star....Ok, enough, but please don't ask me about easements or adverse possession...) But I'm pretty sure I burnt the cookies, and I definitely remembered that my hair started falling out. Stress-related hair loss... I may have crammed it all in a la the world's style, but there was definitely no balance in my life.

So, what is there if there is no such thing as balance? Well, in my humble opinion, there are priorities. You have to decide what is most important in your life, and go with it. Now, I have opinions about what those priorities should be in a person's life, but I will save that for another post. I've been on my soap box long enough for one day. For now, suffice it to say, it's time to stop the Super Woman madness, and while you're at it, get rid of Wonder Woman, too!

PS: I don't want to leave you with the impression that I have it all together...I DO NOT! I have a four-person calendar...for ME (all by myself)! I am actively trying to fire myself, and instead of hunting rabbits, I am hunting down my own Super Woman. It is a process that I am still actively engaged in, and I'm sure you will hear more about it later!

So, until next time...

Ready, Set...Go

Well, here goes nothin'. Everyone seems to have a blog these days, and I figured it was about time that I jumped on the 21st Century bandwagon and got one, too. One note of warning...If you expect this blog to be a site of intellectual discourse, I fear that you have stumbled upon the wrong blog. I will, however, try my best to write in complete sentences!


You may be wondering about the title of my blog. Well, please allow me to explain. You see, I have a friend who always ends an evening out by saying, "It's been a little slice of heaven." Now, I can't promise that you will find this blog "a little slice of heaven." In fact, you may not like what I have to say, and, therefore, equate this blog with a much more unpleasant location. What I can promise you, though, is some insight on life from my perspective. So, instead of heaven, all I can promise you is a little slice of Heather.



So until next time...So long.