Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I Am Alive...I Think

Ladies, I have missed you so much!!! I can't believe it's been a week since I posted. Of course, it doesn't feel like it's been a week primarily because I was asleep for most of it. Ha! I have no intention on dwelling on my last week, but I do want to give you a little update. As many of you know, I had a really bad migraine two weeks ago. Unfortunately for me, it really hasn't gone away. It gets better...and then it gets worse. Well, last Wednesday it was so bad, quite frankly, I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I've pretty much been on every medication known to mankind, and none of it was working. So, my doctor basically knocked me out for a few days. He prescribed a sedative that kept me sleeping. Well, sleeping and drooling on myself. But, seriously, what's a girl to do? Someone would wake me up every four hours to take another pill, and then I would roll over and go back to sleep.

Well, most of the time, anyway. If you know me at all, you know that I am a people person. Don't get me wrong, I like having quiet time to myself, but I don't want that all the time. I love being connected and in relationship with other people, and we all know how much I love my girlfriends. So, sometimes I would make George bring me my laptop, and I would check my email and your blogs. I'd last about 10-15 minutes, and then I'd fall back asleep. On Thursday, I tried to be belligerent and thought I would go to my small group at church. Ha! That would have required having the ability to dress myself, and that, girls, was not happening. So, I missed small group, I missed a hot date Saturday night with my good friend Melissa (sorry Mel!), and I even missed church on Sunday. I'm back to work (which is a whole different story, for another time.), but I still feel lousy. I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back. He is referring me to a neurologist in Iowa City who specializes in headaches, primarily in women. I know many of you have been praying for me, and I cannot tell you enough how much that means to me. I would appreciate it if you would continue to pray for me. Please pray that my headaches would stop, that this referral process would go smoothly, and that I will be able to make it through my work days (or that they would give me a leave of absence).

Basically, I want my life back. I feel so unconnected to everyone I care about, and I hate that. It makes me feeling like a horrible friend. I know that each of you have a lot going on in your lives, and I want to be there to cheer you on, pray for you, and just generally be there if you need anything! So, I'm going to go get caught up with all of you. (I tend to feel better in the mornings, so I am going to make use of that time!) But, before I go, I have to tell you two funny stories about being so doped up on medication that you are out of your mind.

First, I am so glad that God looks at the heart and knows our intentions, even when our words are lacking. Why? Well, because some of my prayers were a little, um, how should I say this, strange. Occasionally, I would come to a little bit, and when I did I would try to pray both for myself and for the people on my prayer list. But, my prayers would get all messed up. They would start out OK. I would generally be able to name the person I wanted to pray for, but then I would think something crazy, generally something related to some dream I'd been having. Or, even better, I'd fall back asleep in mid-thought. Crazy, girls. Crazy. But, I'm sure glad that God knew what I was trying to pray.

And, about those dreams. Whoa! Those were crazy, too. They ran the gamut from involving running from serial killers who looked suspiciously like people I know to gardening and a whole slew of other things. The weirdest ones I had, though, involved elevators. I had a couple of different dreams where I was stuck in an elevator and all of a sudden the elevator would start to swing wildly back and forth, kind of like swinging a yo-yo on a string, and throwing me all around the elevator. Inevitably, the elevator cable would break, and the elevator would start to fall. I could feel the drop in my stomach. It was seriously crazy. I would always wake up before the elevator hit bottom, but it was still disturbing.

What about you? Do you remember your dreams? If so, what's the craziest dream you've ever had? And, girls, let me tell you. I am so glad to be back, and I can't wait to catch up with you all!!


Megan L Hutchings said...


Everyday I have been checking your blog AND there was nothing =(! I knew you had migraines but I had NO IDEA you were in so much pain. Bless your heart! I will be praying for you sweet friend ;)!

Those stories are hilarious! You were so sweet to send Caroline such a fabulous rug ;)!

Megan said...

Heather! I have been wondering where you were. I am so sorry that you have been dealing with these awful migraines. I will be praying for you!

petrii said...

OH MY GOODNESS ~~ I AM SO GLAD YOUR BACK!! I finally broke down yesterday and was just going to e-mail you, but alas my e-mail wasn't working I couldn't believe it.

I saw the rug you sent Caroline ~~ That is beautiful and what a thoughtful thing to do, especially given the fact that you've been so sick. Hope your feeling better soon,

Heidi Zawisza said...

Oh girl, I am so sorry to hear about your week....although a week of slumber is somewhat enticing to me......but not the headaches. I pray that God will remove whatever is causing these headaches out of your body.
Btw...I'm glad YOU can find humor in your situation....not many could. If it makes you feel any better at all, it makes for a good read!! ha!ha!
Keep us updated, and glad to have you back!

Caroline said...

soooooooooooooooo glad you are back at work and feeling a little better. what a rough week you had girl!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you are still so funny..even when you are drugged up!!! i love it!!!!! Tell W happy birthday for me!!!!1 hope yall are doing something fun!!!!! sorry about last night...i am usually on my game with scheduling. love you!!! and praying that God heals you or at least tell you what is going on and what to do!!!!!1

Stephanie said...

Heather, I haven't been to your blog for awhile but I am glad to hear you are alive again!! I'm so sorry about the migraines though...I get those too, but haven't had one for awhile. I know they are NO FUN. I'm so glad you are going to the doctor though for further investigation. You need to feel better girl!! Gotta love Iowa City though and all the resources there!! Hope your day is a good one today Heather!

Heather said...

Oh, Heather. I so relate to this post. (Although I could use some of those strong sleeping drugs to put me out of my misery, let me tell you!) Especially the part about wanting your life back. I have so been there, and really am still there lots and lots of days. Keep praying and believing....God is right there with you.
I am praying for you several times a day!