A Little Slice of Heather

Thanksgiving and a Question

2008-11-24T08:14:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that Thanksgiving is this Thursday. Wednesday afternoon W. and I will hop on a plane and fly to Florida to spend Thanksgiving with my mom. This will be the first Thanksgiving in eleven years that I have not hosted. I really am not sure I'll know what to do with myself. I'm so used to doing all the cooking. It will be a nice change, and I'm sure I will still get to help do something! What about you? What are your plans for Thanksgiving? What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? I love them all...a lot. Thanksgiving is such a great holiday. I have so much to be thankful for this year, and every year, really.

This is probably going to sound very random, and it kind of is. I hope it will make sense a little later, but right now I need your input and help. What book, that you do not own, is on your must-read or to-read list? Please leave a comment, letting me know the title of the book. Random, I know. But, I promise in a couple of days it will make more sense to you. Ha! How's that for suspense... Have a great Monday.

Coming Out of a Bloggy Hiatus

2008-11-18T12:29:00.000-08:00

What a better reason to come out of a bloggy hiatus than to celebrate! In the few months I have been trying to get better, so much has happened with you all. Not the least of which is the fact that Kelly keeps getting cuter and cuter as she gets closer to her due date. I know I'm a day late, but I wanted to participate in the bloggy baby shower, too. So here goes:

Like Julie, I found your blog from a comment you left on Beth Moore's blog, and I was instantly drawn to you. I had only been a Christian for a short time when I found your blog, and your faith in God made me want to know him more. After reading your blog for a little while, I felt compelled to pray for you. I remember that you had written a post about your struggles and it broke my heart. I remember sitting on my couch, thinking about what I could do for you. Of course, I immediately wanted to send you a gift. I mean, come on, that's what I do ;) But, I didn't know you at all, so that was out of the question. Instead, I felt God tell me that all I needed to do was pray. So, I remember typing you a really long email with a bunch of verses that I wanted to pray over you. I felt like such a stalker. Ha! But, I knew that God wanted me to pray for you. Any time I let my self-doubts start creeping in, doubts like "God, I don't even know her, and God, I'm sure she thinks I'm nuts", something would happen, and God would remind me that I was supposed to pray for you. And, I am so glad He had me pray for you. Not only was my faith strengthened by seeing how big and awesome our God is, but I also made a friend in the process. I have sincerely loved getting to know you over these past few months. You are an amazing, sweet woman. I hope that we get the opportunity to get to know each other better in the future, and maybe even get to meet one another someday soon!

Like Caroline, I distinctly remember when I felt God release me from praying for you. It was shortly after Sarah announced that she was pregnant. While I was so happy for Sarah, I began praying even harder for you. One night, I had a dream and both you and Sarah were in it. You were skiing of all things, but you both had on matching snow suits. (Only a girl would have this dream ;) Anyway, as crazy as it sounds, I knew that God was telling me that your prayers, and my prayers, and the prayers of everyone else who loves you, had been answered. I just felt that you were going to have a baby. There were so many times that I wanted to say something to you, and ask you if you were pregnant, but I didn't for fear that I was wrong and had misunderstood. So, you can imagine how happy I was when I found out you were, in fact, pregnant! I screamed, and cried, and danced, and mailed a baby gift right away!

I know that you are going to be a wonderful mother. Of that, I have no doubt. My only advice is to love much and pray for the patience of Job! If you have those two things, you cannot go wrong. And, don't take yourself too seriously. Try not to worry about all the little things because the big picture is way more important. God brought you this precious baby, and He will be faithful to her and to you. So, try not to worry. (Easier said than done, I know). After all, how can you possibly go wrong with God in control and a hundred gallons of antibacterial soap around! ;) You'll do great, I promise! Best wishes always. I love you, friend!

I look so forward to catching up with you all. I have missed you SO much!

Tag--I'm It!!

2008-08-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

OK, ladies. I've been tagged. Both Meredith and Heather tagged me to post six quirks that I have. Really, all I have to say is 6? I can only pick six? Oh, what will I choose? Well, here goes. Here, in no particular order, are six unremarkable quirks about me.

1. I talk in my sleep. Not mumble, groan talk, but complete sentences, carry on conversations talk. Sometimes with my eyes open. Scary, I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm the one spilling my guts to people in the middle of the night. AND, unless you tell me, I don't know I did it. Or what I said.

2. I love monkeys--all kinds of monkeys. I think they are awesome, and if I had a pet, I would want a monkey. But, since no one else seems to think having a monkey for a pet is such a great idea, I have to settle for stuffed ones. I have two. Grand Master Monkey and Sleepy Time Curious George. Yes, for real. Hey, no laughing. Did I mention they are fierce? ;)

3. I play with my eyelashes when I am tired, but only the eyelashes on my right eye. Which is funny because I'm left handed. Regardless, if I'm playing with my eyelashes it's a sure sign that I am very sleepy. And, if I'm missing a bunch of eyelashes on that eye you can know that I've had a rough month. Ha!

4. I love school, and I even (please do not start throwing things at me) love homework. I always have. I was one of those irritating kids who asked for extra credit homework all the time. I still love to do homework. Maybe that's why I love Beth Moore so much? I can tell you this. I signed up to take a Bible study at church this fall, and I nearly died and went to heaven when I found out that our "workbook" is an enormous three-ring binder filled with worksheets to fill out. And, yes, I still shop for new school supplies every year. Some people reorganize their lives around New Year's Day. Well, for me it is mid-August. And, yes, I know I'm weird.

5. I love music. Almost any kind of music, really. I know most of the words to many Top 40 song from the last couple of decades. My dream is to go on Don't Forget The Lyrics. I play at home every time it is on. And, if you are ever over when it is on, don't talk to me unless it's during a commercial break. You'll break my concentration. And, seriously, it takes a lot of concentration to remember the words to "Blame it on the Rain."

6. And, finally, well at least for this meme, I cannot stand and will complain for years about any movie that doesn't end the way I want it to. Seriously, if I don't like the ending, I will not ever like the movie. Even if I liked all of it but the last five minutes. There is one huge exception to that rule and that is with "The Way We Were." That is my absolute favorite movie of all times (except maybe Gone With the Wind), and I love it even though K-K-Katie and Hubbell don't end up together in the end. I could psychoanalyze that for you, but refer to number 4. You already think I'm weird. So, I'll just let it drop.

And, before I go. Thank you all so much for your prayers. They mean the world to me. The two tests they've done so far have been normal, which they expected, and I have another test tomorrow morning. Yuck, yuck, yuck! Thanks again for praying! I love you all.

In the Words of Kindergarten Cop...

2008-08-20T07:46:00.001-07:00

It's not a tumor. Well, at least they're pretty sure it's not a tumor, but more about that later.

First, I want to thank all of you who have checked up on me the last few days. You have no idea how much it means to me that you are thinking about me and praying for me. I told George last night that I have the best girlfriends in the entire world, and I truly do mean that! Each one of you is such a blessing to me.

And, I have to tell you, I hate being out of touch with what is going on with you. While I've been in my drug induced, comatose state, I know I've missed so much. And, I am so behind on things it's not even funny. I've been carrying around cards in my purse for weeks that I haven't mailed yet. I owe people birthday presents and care packages that I haven't had time to put together. I haven't even sent out W's birthday invitations for his party with his friends. I guess I'll have to make phone calls to all the parents. Oh well, I guess life goes on, right? I really don't mean to complain. I know that there are a lot worse things going on out there than my inability to get birthday invitations in the mail. I just really want you all to know that I am thinking about you and praying for you, and if I owe you something in the mail, please know it will be forthcoming...sometime.

Now for my health update. I'll try to make it short because I'm tired of talking about it. Ha! But, I really would appreciate your prayers, so here goes. I went to the neurologist yesterday. I really liked him. He seemed very competent and was very nice to me. Anyway, he doesn't think my migraines are causing my severe headaches. He doesn't think that I have a brain tumor or cancer, PTL, but he is testing me for those anyway. I go tomorrow morning for a CT angiogram of the blood vessels in my brain, and I go one week from today to have an MRI done. Instead of being a real tumor, my neurologist thinks I have a pseudotumor cerebri. I guess that means that my symptoms mimic those of a brain tumor, but there is actually no tumor present. Instead, my body is producing too much cerebrospinal fluid which is causing my spinal column to swell. It is also causing me to have too much cerebrospinal fluid around my brain. That, in turn, is causing pressure, which is causing my headaches. There are two different types of pseudotumors, one responds well to treatment and the other does not. If treatment doesn't work, pseudotumors can cause blindness. Assuming the CT angiogram, MRI, and blood work all come back negative, ruling out a real tumor or cancer, this is probably what is wrong with me. My doctor will order a spinal tap to confirm the diagnosis and relieve some of the pressure in my spine. The he will have to determine what is causing my body to overproduce cerebrospinal fluid, and my treatment will depend on the cause.

So, anyway, if you happen to think of me tomorrow morning, or any time in the next several days, I would appreciate your prayers. I am still in severe pain most of the time. Until they rule out cancer and brain tumors, they can't give me anything different for the pain. So, I'm basically in limbo, not knowing how well I will be able to function day-to-day until then. I know I can count on you to pray for me, and like I said earlier, that means the world to me. You are all fabulous women, and each of you have been such a blessing to me. I love you all.

August 13, 1997...

2008-08-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

was eleven years ago yesterday. And, I will never forget what I was doing that day. Never. It's permanently etched in my mind and is one of the most important days of my life. At 6:00 a.m. on August 13, 1997, I walked through the doors of Mercy Hospital poised to rid my body of the alien that had invaded it for the last nine months. Well, I was poised to lose the alien and the unmentionable amount of pounds I had gained, and I probably don't have to tell you how disappointing that was. Someone should have told me that I would still look pregnant when I left the hospital. It would have been the humane thing to do, and it would have stopped me from trying to roll my wheelchair into oncoming traffic as I left the hospital. OK, maybe not. That may have been caused by the hormones and lack of sleep.

Oh, I kid. I didn't really try to push my wheelchair into oncoming traffic. I just thought about it.

Now, some of you may be offended that I called by child an alien, but get over it. He was an alien; my doctor told me so. You see, I had one of the WORST pregnancies ever recorded in human history. I lost so much weight my first trimester due to my "morning" sickness, I was nearly hospitalized. I literally spent almost the entire first three months of my pregnancy either in my bed or in my bathroom. Oh, but don't cry for me Argentina. I more than made up for the weight I lost in the last two trimesters. I told Julia yesterday that I took the whole eating for two thing very seriously, and apparently I thought the second person was an NFL linebacker. I would tell you my daily eating schedule, but I'm too embarrassed to put it in print. I gained so much weight, and not surprisingly got so big, I couldn't drive the last month of my pregnancy. If I pushed the seat far enough back to accommodate my gigantic stomach, my vertically challenged feet couldn't touch the pedals. So, basically I looked like the Goodyear blimp with appendages.

And, no I'm not exaggerating. Not. At. All. People started asking me when I was due at six and a half months. And, let's not talk about the fact that I was my biggest and most swollen during the hottest months of the year. There was only one thing that was remotely good about being so big so early in my pregnancy. It got me out of a speeding ticket. You see, when I was six months pregnant, I was driving myself to the hospital to get an ultrasound done, and I may or may not have been speeding. I really couldn't tell you because my speedometer cable had broken. So I was just driving what I thought seemed like the correct speed. I could have paced myself with traffic, if there had been any. But, I was on a two lane highway, and there was no one else around. Well, no one except the County Sheriff's Deputy, who was driving the other direction. Apparently, he thought I was going too fast. So, he made a U-turn in the middle of the highway, and pulled me over. When he got up to the car, he looked at me, asking where I was going. I told him I was going to the hospital. His face turned white, and for a second, I thought I was going to have to take him with me. He took another look at my very large belly, and he started screaming "Go! Go!." So, I did. I may have been blonde at that time, but I was not stupid. I waved at him and took off before he could change his mind. And, yes, girls, that is my favorite pregnancy story.

And, not only did I gain a lot of weight, but I had a terrible case of pregnancy rash. What? You didn't know such a thing existed. Well, that's funny. I didn't either. But, apparently, it does, and according to my dermatologist, I had the worst case he had ever seen. Seriously. I was covered from shoulders to knees with a bright red, bumpy, itchy rash. It was so bad, when I had my rash cream prescription filled, the pharmacist handed me back 12 tubes of rash cream. That was just for the first prescription. I had two refills on there too. Of course, the rash cream also came with a big sign that read "Unclean, Unclean," and a voucher for a stay at the nearest Holiday Inn located outside of my camp. Alright, alright, it didn't really come with that, but it should have. But, because I get my prescriptions filled in my local grocery story, the rash cream did come with at least two half gallons of Edy's Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. You know, so I could drown my sorrows.

Oh, in case you are wondering, I was allergic to W's placenta. That's what caused the rash. My doctor called it alien placenta. See, I told you he said W. was an alien, and you thought I was just being mean.

With all of the nutrients I was taking in, I didn't have to wonder if W. was healthy. Oh, he was healthy alright. He was having a grand time in utero, and he apparently had no intention of ever leaving. My doctor got concerned because he was getting so big and decided he better induce me. So, I faithfully presented myself at the hospital at 6 a.m. on August 13, 1997.

Well, I guess I should say that I and everyone who was related to me within the fourth degree on consanguinity presented themselves at the hospital. And, a few people who were not related to me at all showed up too. Have I told you that my family has a problem with boundaries? It was a good thing that birthing suite was large because there had to be 15-20 people there at any given time. And, once again, no I am not kidding. If the whole ordeal had been videotaped, I'm pretty sure we could have been on Jerry Springer or at least Maury Povich. Of course, I really didn't care. My birthing plan clearly stated that I wanted as many drugs as they would give me. (All kidding aside, I was blessed to have all the people I loved most in the world with me that day. All of my best girl friends were there, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.)

I would tell you the rest of the birthing story, but I won't for fear that I will horribly scar you for life. Instead, I'll just say a couple of things. First, I learned that I have very small hips. Unfortunately, with all the KFC, pancakes, fudge cakes, and Edy's Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream I ate, you really couldn't tell. Well, without an X-ray anyway. Second, if I had one piece of advice for pregnant women, it would be this: find out which hospital has the best anesthesiologists, then pick an OB-GYN who goes to that hospital. Because if all Hades breaks loose, you want a good anesthesiologist. Trust me.

With all that said, my little alien entered the world at 8:24 p.m., and my life hasn't been the same since. He spent the day with his not-terribly-active great grandparents the other day. Not surprisingly, he had a lot of pent-up energy. When George and I got home from work, he told me this. "I've been bored all day, but I'm not now. You're my thrill ride." And, I just wanted to look at him and say, "Oh baby boy, you have no idea. You are my thrill ride." And, no matter how much I joke about my pregnancy (and girls, you are supposed to be laughing at this), and no matter how trying the pregnancy was, I would do it over and over again. I love that boy more than I've loved anything in my entire life. He is completely worth it.

We always go out to dinner to celebrate birthdays. It's just our tradition. The birthday boy or girl gets to pick where we go eat. So, in honor of W's eleventh birthday, we went out for some hibachi last night at our local Japanese steakhouse. One thing I can say about this kid is that he likes good food. Never once did we get off easy and get to go to McDonald's for the birthday dinner. Oh no. We spent several years dining at Biaggi's Italian restaurant, and we learned rather quickly that we needed to keep a close eye on the child when it came time to order dessert. Because if we weren't paying attention, he would order some for himself. And, no kidding, he would order it like this, "May I have a piece of the torte chocolata, please?" He was six going on 36, and he still is. I could tell you a hundred stories, but I'll save some for later. I have some pictures to post, and I'll try to do that tonight (if my headache will allow it.) God blessed me by allowing me to enjoy W's birthday dinner last night, but I feel worse today than I have all week. The good news is that I go see the headache specialist next Tuesday. PTL!!!

I Am Alive...I Think

2008-08-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

Ladies, I have missed you so much!!! I can't believe it's been a week since I posted. Of course, it doesn't feel like it's been a week primarily because I was asleep for most of it. Ha! I have no intention on dwelling on my last week, but I do want to give you a little update. As many of you know, I had a really bad migraine two weeks ago. Unfortunately for me, it really hasn't gone away. It gets better...and then it gets worse. Well, last Wednesday it was so bad, quite frankly, I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I've pretty much been on every medication known to mankind, and none of it was working. So, my doctor basically knocked me out for a few days. He prescribed a sedative that kept me sleeping. Well, sleeping and drooling on myself. But, seriously, what's a girl to do? Someone would wake me up every four hours to take another pill, and then I would roll over and go back to sleep.

Well, most of the time, anyway. If you know me at all, you know that I am a people person. Don't get me wrong, I like having quiet time to myself, but I don't want that all the time. I love being connected and in relationship with other people, and we all know how much I love my girlfriends. So, sometimes I would make George bring me my laptop, and I would check my email and your blogs. I'd last about 10-15 minutes, and then I'd fall back asleep. On Thursday, I tried to be belligerent and thought I would go to my small group at church. Ha! That would have required having the ability to dress myself, and that, girls, was not happening. So, I missed small group, I missed a hot date Saturday night with my good friend Melissa (sorry Mel!), and I even missed church on Sunday. I'm back to work (which is a whole different story, for another time.), but I still feel lousy. I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back. He is referring me to a neurologist in Iowa City who specializes in headaches, primarily in women. I know many of you have been praying for me, and I cannot tell you enough how much that means to me. I would appreciate it if you would continue to pray for me. Please pray that my headaches would stop, that this referral process would go smoothly, and that I will be able to make it through my work days (or that they would give me a leave of absence).

Basically, I want my life back. I feel so unconnected to everyone I care about, and I hate that. It makes me feeling like a horrible friend. I know that each of you have a lot going on in your lives, and I want to be there to cheer you on, pray for you, and just generally be there if you need anything! So, I'm going to go get caught up with all of you. (I tend to feel better in the mornings, so I am going to make use of that time!) But, before I go, I have to tell you two funny stories about being so doped up on medication that you are out of your mind.

First, I am so glad that God looks at the heart and knows our intentions, even when our words are lacking. Why? Well, because some of my prayers were a little, um, how should I say this, strange. Occasionally, I would come to a little bit, and when I did I would try to pray both for myself and for the people on my prayer list. But, my prayers would get all messed up. They would start out OK. I would generally be able to name the person I wanted to pray for, but then I would think something crazy, generally something related to some dream I'd been having. Or, even better, I'd fall back asleep in mid-thought. Crazy, girls. Crazy. But, I'm sure glad that God knew what I was trying to pray.

And, about those dreams. Whoa! Those were crazy, too. They ran the gamut from involving running from serial killers who looked suspiciously like people I know to gardening and a whole slew of other things. The weirdest ones I had, though, involved elevators. I had a couple of different dreams where I was stuck in an elevator and all of a sudden the elevator would start to swing wildly back and forth, kind of like swinging a yo-yo on a string, and throwing me all around the elevator. Inevitably, the elevator cable would break, and the elevator would start to fall. I could feel the drop in my stomach. It was seriously crazy. I would always wake up before the elevator hit bottom, but it was still disturbing.

What about you? Do you remember your dreams? If so, what's the craziest dream you've ever had? And, girls, let me tell you. I am so glad to be back, and I can't wait to catch up with you all!!

Weekend at the Lake

2008-08-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

OK ladies. As promised, here are some of my pictures from the lake this weekend.

Here is W. with his cousin C. This was taken minutes before the kiddos tipped themselves over in the paddle boat. I laughed at the time. Foreshadowing, friends. Foreshadowing.

This is George and W. on the jet ski.

Here they are again. And, no George isn't a ghost, promise. He's just very, very pale.

You thought I was kidding about being dumped off the jet ski, didn't you? Oh no, girls, I wasn't. That little head sticking up out of the water is me. I'm trying to pull myself back up.

Yes, here I am again, swimming along side the jet ski. Why? Because I was never able to do a pull up in high school, that's why.

Here's W. and his cousin C., swimming in the lake. You can't see it in this picture, but he has his shoes on. Seriously.

And, here we are. See, I'm a good sport. I'm smiling, and this is after I got dumped off the jet ski. Notice, however, that I am staying put on the boat. Less dangerous that way. At least until I learn to do some pull-ups!

So there you have it. Pictures and everything. I've been crazy busy at work, but I'll try to get my blog award passed on tomorrow. I love you gals!! You're the best!!

Busy, Busy, Busy!!

2008-08-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

Ladies, ladies, ladies. I am so busy today, I am ready to pull my hair out. And, it's only Monday!! I had the busiest weekend, and it doesn't look like things are going to slow down anytime soon. W.'s birthday is in just a few days, and he will be back in school in just a couple of weeks. On top of that, I'm swamped at work, and I'm trying to work through a couple of things in my personal life right now. I've got to take one thing at a time, and breathe more. Because if I don't, I think I'll end up having some kind of anxiety attack. Well, if I'm not already having one. But, anyway enough about that!

I wanted to check in with all of my favorite bloggy friends. I had a great, but very busy weekend. My friend Julie and I went to see the Beth Moore simulcast. The message was amazing and very timely. The title of her message was "100 Fold Harvest". I'll try to write more about the message later. It was just amazing. I love how God speaks through Beth Moore. It's so awesome!

Immediately after the simulcast was over, I hopped in a car and drove to the lake. My dad's side of the family always has a little reunion the first weekend in August. It's always so much fun for us to go. It's fun to get to spend time with my cousins. We all about the same age and in the same season of life. And, our kids are all about the same age, too. It's so great to catch up with them. We had a good time this year, and (Julie this is especially for you ;) I took some pictures!! I will post them tonight when I get home from work. There is even a picture of a very drenched me. You know, I was posing a picture so you know what it looks like to fly off a jet ski going about 50 miles an hour. Ha!

I wish I had more time to write now, but I must get back to work. I have so much to say about my weekend, and I have to write about the great blog award Heather gave me. If you don't read her blog, go read it now! She is such an amazing, Godly woman. I am so happy I have met her; she has been such a blessing to me. It's needless to say, therefore, what an honor it is to receive a blog award from her! In addition to all that, I have something that is weighing very heavily on my heart. I'm working on a post for that, but, girls, it just isn't coming together yet. But, I hope it does soon.

Thank you all for being such wonderful friends and encouragers to me. I am praying for each of you. You are all such blessings, and I love you so much!

Foreign Languages

2008-07-31T10:33:00.000-07:00

OK, girls. I've been posting up a storm recently. Crazy. Very crazy. Well, I'm back today with a random fact about me. I love to learn foreign languages. I can speak some Spanish, some German, and a very tiny bit of French. Lately, I have had the foreign language itch. I think I want to learn a new language, but I seriously cannot decide what to learn. I am so torn. I mean, I could definitely use a refresher in the languages I've already begun to learn. But, there are so many other languages out there to learn. I've always wanted to learn Italian, and now that I am studying the Bible so much, I would love to learn Hebrew and Greek. So, I don't know. Decisions, decisions, decisions. What I do know, is that I want to use Rosetta Stone software this time around. I've heard it's the best out there. Have any of y'all used it?

So, what do you think? Do you speak another language? If so, what one? If not, what language did you always want to learn? And, what language do you think I should learn? I'm interested in hearing your opinions!

Surprise!!! Pictures!

2008-07-30T20:21:00.001-07:00

Alright girls. I got my hair done tonight. Sorry, I didn't take any before pictures. Let's just say I looked kind of like a skunk. But, here are a couple of after pictures. And, I just have to tell you ladies...I HATE getting my picture taken. But, obviously, I LOVE you all more. So here's my new do.

From the back.

From the side.

And, from the front. (And, yes, I have no makeup on. Sorry. With the headaches I've been having, you're lucky I took a shower!)

Nothing too exciting, but at least I don't have roots. So, take a look at the pictures. I can't promise I'll leave them up here very long ;) Well, it's been a LONG day, and I'm going to bed. Talk to you all tomorrow! Tomorrow's Thursday. We're over the hump!! Woo hoo!!

YUM-O!!

2008-07-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, girls. Two posts in one day. I guess I'm making up for the day I lost in bed yesterday!You'll have to excuse me ladies, but I have to brag on my man for just a minute. Some of you already know that I have a man who bends over backward to help me whenever I need help. He is always happy to help me around the house, and he does nearly half of the cooking. Well, girls, he out did himself last night. I had found a Rachael Ray recipe that looked intriguing, and he made it for dinner last night. Seriously, it was some of the best tasting food I have had. It was really really good!! It was so good, I thought I would share the recipe with ya'll. If you try it, let me know what you think! Ooh, we just might have to make it again soon...

Cuban Spiced Pork with Saffrito Rice

Rice: 1 tablespoon olive oil or vegetable oil 2 slices bacon, chopped 1 small white onion, chopped 1 small green bell pepper, chopped 2 3/4 cups chicken broth 1 1/2 cups white rice 2 pinches saffron or 1/2 teaspoon turmeric Salt

Pork: 2 pork tenderloins, trimmed, about 2 1/2 pounds total weight 4 cloves garlic, cracked away from skin 4 bay leaves 2 teaspoons anise seed 2 teaspoons ground coriander 1 tablespoon ground cumin 2 limes, zested 2 tablespoons grill seasoning blend (recommended: McCormick Montreal Steak Seasoning) or coarse salt and pepper EVOO - Extra-virgin olive oil, or vegetable oil, to coat. Optional garnishes: chopped mango or kiwi, or chopped cilantro and scallions

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Heat medium pot with tight fitting lid over medium high heat. Add oil and bacon and brown bacon. Add onions and peppers, saffron and salt, and saute 5 minutes. Bring broth to a boil. Add rice. Cover the pot and reduce heat to simmer. Cook 15 to 18 minutes, until rice is tender.

For pork, cut 4 slits into each loin and nest garlic and bay into meat. Place meat on nonstick baking sheet. Combine the spices. Coat meat with oil. Rub spices over the pork tenderloins and place in oven. Roast meat 25 minutes. Remove from oven. Let juices redistribute, then slice and serve with soffrito rice and garnishes of chopped tropical fruit or chopped cilantro and scallions.

Girls, this meal was seriously divine!! The pork was wonderful, and the rice, oh, all I can say is YUM-O!! Let me know what you think if you try it out!!

Thank You Gals, You're the Best!

2008-07-30T06:49:00.001-07:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you, ladies for praying for me! There is no way I could ever express in words how much that means to me. God did lift that cloud of darkness from me on Monday. I was able to go to my Monday night Bible study, and I had a fabulous time there. Immediately after my Bible study ended Monday night, however, I started to get a horrible headache. It was so bad by Tuesday morning that I called in sick to work and went to the doctor. Apparently, on top of my migraines, I am also starting to get cluster headaches. To make a long story short, my doctor put me on four different medications in an attempt to break the cycle of these headaches. The problem is that if the medicine doesn't work, I may have to get nerve blocking injections into the base of my skull. If y'all could pray that the medicine would work, I would appreciate it. I really don't want to get any injections into my head. That sounds really painful. Needless to say, I was in bed all day yesterday. I am up and back to work today, and we'll see how it goes.

But, enough whining out of me. We are studying the book of Ruth in my Monday night Bible study, using Francine River's book Unshaken as a guide. I don't know about you, but as a woman, I love the book of Ruth. I think it has so much to say to women about how God loves us and how He has a place for us in His work. The more I study it, the more I realize that the book of Ruth is so much more than a "love story" between Ruth and Boaz. It is, instead, a love story between God and women. I could go on and on about what I am learning, but I think I'll save that for another post.

What about you? What is your favorite book of the Bible, or favorite Bible story, and why?

PS. I'll have a surprise on here for y'all either tonight or tomorrow. So, you'll have to check back and see what it is. Ha! Suspense. (But, don't get your hopes up too high. It's not that great of a surprise ;)

Would You Please Pray for Me?

2008-07-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

Girls, I am sitting in my office this afternoon on the verge of tears. I wish I could pin point something in particular that is wrong, but I cannot. All I can say is that I woke up this morning with a horrible cloud of darkness around me. I really don't even know how to describe it. I am exhausted and horribly sad. My heart is pounding and I am finding it difficult to breathe normally. I kind of feel like there is a heavy weight on my chest, preventing me from getting air. Kind of like someone is holding me under water and I cannot get out from underneath it. And, this entire time, everything I hate about myself is running through my head like one of those running news streams .

I am sorry; I don't mean to scare you or bring you down with me. I don't know what this is, or what brought it on, but I want it GONE. I have been sitting here, reciting verses in my head. In particular, I have been saying these verses from 2 Corinthians over and over again:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all‑surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9.

If you happen to read this, would you please pray for me. I am so sorry about being a downer, but I really felt I should tell y'all how I feel. Maybe getting it out in the open will help it go away. I love praying for each of you, and I thank you for praying for me.

Random Thoughts on a Gloomy Friday

2008-07-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

Thank you ladies for leaving me comments about your cars. I really detest car shopping and am not looking forward to walking around car lots, getting harassed by the sales people. I have no idea what I'm going to get, but I can tell you that despite what "anonymous" has to say, I am under no circumstances, never ever, no way, no how, not on your life, over my dead body, getting a Vespa. Of course, I knew he was joking, which was a very good thing for him. Because, after all, I know where he lives. So, I'll start car shopping, and hopefully by the time my car breaks down on me next time, I will have a new one. In the interim, I need to practice my "Don't Mess With Me, I Know Everything There Is To Know About Cars" face. And, believe me, I need a lot of practice with that one.

So, girls, what do you have planned for the weekend? I'm going to clean, clean, clean. We also need to go to the grocery store before I have a strike on my hands. I would love to go to the farmer's market tomorrow morning. We'll see if we can get up early enough to do that. The highlight of our weekend, though, is probably this:

We're going to Shakespeare on the Lawn at the Salisbury House. They are doing Taming of the Shrew, and I am so excited. We'll bring a picnic dinner and sit outside on the Salisbury House's beautiful grounds. Even W. is excited to go this year. I just pray that the weather will hold out. It's been very rainy and gloomy the past two days, and that has not been good for my head. I was in bed and asleep at 4:30 yesterday afternoon. I have been having terrible migraines recently. YUCK!! Today, I still don't feel like I'm back to myself. So, sorry if this doesn't make any sense. I'm trying, really I am!

Anyway, enough about me. What exciting plans do you have for the weekend?

The Break-Up

2008-07-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

My dearest G.A.,

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I sit here writing this letter. I look back at all the great times we've shared over the last few years, and I can scarcely believe it has come to this. I remember what great joy I had the first time I spotted you across that parking lot. If love at first sight exists, I believe that I experienced it with you. You were so handsome, so powerful, so everything I was looking for at that time in my life. Or, at least I thought you were everything I was looking for.

You were my constant companion, never refusing to travel with me, even when I was traveling to boring places. You always did your best to take care of me, keeping me cool in the summer, and warm in bitter Iowa winters, and you never once complained about my singing. I thought your love for me was unconditional. But, G.A., what happened?

Was I blinded by your beauty or by your desire to go flying through life like I did? Did I fail to take care of your needs, too? I really tried hard to make sure you were well fed and were pampered. So, can you tell me why you abandoned me? Why? Just, tell me why? Because I really thought that I was the only one who could get your engine running, so to speak. So, what happened? Why, in the words of the Stones, couldn't I start you up? Well, at least without bribing you.

And, the bribery. Well, the bribery is completely unacceptable. I shouldn't have to pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars to prove that I love you. I know that I have broken this bribery rule in the past, and I have paid money to show you my love. But, that money was for small things, and I thought I was meeting your needs and maintaining your well-being by doing that. But, hundreds and hundreds of dollars, that's different. Especially, when they tell me that you might abandon me again. In just a few short months, even. I am so sorry, but I think I must end this relationship. It is no longer reciprocal love. I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to have to trade you in for a newer model. I will always love you, but I cannot continue to put up with this behavior. Besides, I have my eye on a Buick, and I've heard that Buicks are more reliable than you Grand Ams. I guess they just don't have as high of an opinion of themselves since they aren't as cute. Not that I'm bitter or anything. So, goodbye Grand Am, goodbye.

With much love,

Your soon to be ex-owner

(What about you? What kind of car do you drive? And, do you like it?)

The Beth Weekend Ever

2008-07-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

Hello Ladies!! I'm back from my crazy week last weekend, but to be quite honest, I am totally exhausted!! Quite frankly, I'm not used to traveling that much anymore. I think I would have been OK if it had just been one, longer trip. All that driving, and hotel hopping was a little more than these old bones could handle. But, that's enough complaining out of me. I've hooked up a coffee IV, so I'll be alright.

Oh, so you all know that I went to see Beth Moore with a group of girlfriends this past weekend, and let me just tell you, it was as wonderful as I had imagined it would be!!! It was so wonderful to be able to fellowship with some of the women I love the most in this whole world. We did all the things you think we would have done. We ate too much, talked too much, stayed up too late, and laughed and laughed and laughed. And, as I mentioned before, it was my friend Shana's birthday on Friday, and It was so cool to be able to celebrate with her. I just have to tell y'all, I loved these ladies a lot before we left home on Friday, but I love them even more now!!

And, the message? Oh my, girls. Beth's message was amazing. We got a Word!! The title of Beth's message was "Between a Rock and a Hard Place." And, I just have one word for you: Timely. Isn't God amazing that way? The way He can just orchestrate every little detail, allowing Himself to meet each of us exactly where we are. Exactly at the place of our need. He is just too cool!!! I want to blog more about the three areas Beth spoke about, but I'm at work, and my notes are at home. So, I will save that for tomorrow. All I can say is awesome. It was just awesome.

In the interim, there is something I would like to ask of each of you. Sunday night I started making a new set of scripture cards. I'm trying to write down verses that speak to the issues I'm facing in this particular season of my life. I would also like to write down some verses for each of you. That way, I can pray scripture when I pray for you. There is only one, teensy-weensy problem with this plan. I'm not sure what to pray!! So, if you would consider emailing me with one or two of your top prayer requests, I would appreciate it. You know, something I can pray about for the next few months. I would love to pray for you!! So, please shoot me an email! I love you all!

Murphy's Law

2008-07-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

Oh, girls...I'm back from my whirlwind trip to the big cities of Council Bluffs and Omaha for work. I got home earlier than I had expected yesterday afternoon. I was happy to be home, but I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed...at 4:00 in the afternoon!! Don't laugh. You'd have been tired too if your trip had been a life lesson in Murphy's law. You know, the little adage that "everything that can go wrong will go wrong." I have to tell you. I do not know Murphy, but I can tell you this. I don't like him. Or, his law. So, neener-neener-boo-boo Murphy! (Yes, I'm sure he is very upset at that.) I made it through my trip anyway. Just so you can feel my pain, here's how it all went down.

1. I left my office several hours later than I was supposed to because my client missed his flight. It ended up being OK because the airline, are you ready for this, took responsibility for the problem. They changed the gate but didn't tell my poor client. Even though he had been sitting there for two hours. I couldn't believe the airline took responsibility for the problem. I have NEVER had that happen before. Ever. I know it was nothing short of a miracle.

2. When I finally arrived at my hotel, I was completely dismayed to find several minivans in the parking lot. Minivans bearing colorful writing on all of the windows. Writing that said things like "Go team," "Win state," and "#1." Because, clearly, there is nothing more relaxing than 30 high school kids stampeding up and down the hallway at all hours of the night, banging into your door. Oh, well, except their slightly drunk parents who were doing the same. Fun times, friends. Fun times.

3. I was all by myself which meant that I had to eat by myself. Can I just say, I hate eating by myself? I've done it many times, so you think I would have gotten over it by now, but, no. I haven't. After receiving faulty directions from the lady at the front desk and getting lost, I ended up at Cracker Barrel. So, at least I got to have some good food!!

4. Tuesday night there were terrible thunderstorms that knocked the power (and, therefore, alarm clocks and air conditioner) out. I don't sleep well the first night I'm in a hotel usually, but I really didn't sleep well Tuesday night!!

5. I got ready early so I could have breakfast with my client before the depositions started. And, why is it that no matter how many times I tell my clients, "Whatever you do, don't do______ (fill in the blank)", it is always the first thing they do??? I mean, seriously, I've tried everything but standing on my head, and I guess I'll have to try that next time.../

6. I got a parking ticket during the deposition thanks to some parking meter Nazi. I mean seriously, I was three minutes over my time when I went to plug the meter, and I ALREADY had a ticket.

7. Then I got us lost on the way back to the hotel. One way streets are now the bane of my existence.

8. My drive home was uneventful, PTL. I got home, parked my car and went into the house. When I went to pick up W. an hour later, however, my car wouldn't start. It wouldn't turn over, it wouldn't make any noises. Nothing. So, now I'm without a car. Well, at least temporarily.

So, can I just say I'm happy to be home??? Not that the entire trip was a loss. I got to talk to two of my favorite people on the phone while I was gone!!! I love to talk on the phone, and it was so great to be able to chat with them.

I better get back to work because I'm leaving again tomorrow. Hopefully, this trip will go by much more smoothly!!!!

Weekend Update

2008-07-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hello ladies!!! I hope you each had a wonderful weekend! My weekend was good. If you noticed the time stamp on my last post, you already saw that I stayed up way too late on Friday night. I really must be getting old. I just can't do midnight like I used to. But, Someone was looking out for my well being because the nearly 11 year old slept until 10 AM Saturday morning. And, of course, that meant that I, too, got to sleep in. Heavenly. Absolutely heavenly.

Our Saturday was filled with our usual Saturday routine. We ate brunch, and then we ran some errands. I had to sign W. up for some swimming lessons at the YMCA, and then we went to look for scanners. You will be happy to know that we did buy a scanner at Best Buy. I had no idea what I was looking for, but luckily for us, there was a HP rep at the Best Buy store, and she was very helpful. She walked us through the different HP scanners and answered all of our questions, and we ended up with this all in one thingy (yes, that's a technical term).

I was promised that it would do "everything" I need it to do. Of course, it will also do five hundred things I don't need it to do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the wonderful HP rep. It really isn't difficult to talk us into things. We seem to live by the philosophy that the more buttons the better. But, bottom line, yes, the hairumentary is forthcoming....Just as soon as I learn to operate it.

Sunday morning we went to church. Our church has recently started a sports outreach program. To kick off some events, including an FCA youth camp, we had Ken Johnson, the chaplain for the Indianapolis Colts, give the message yesterday. He gave a really good message on how to keep the fire burning and how to persevere in the face of adversity. There were several things that he said that really resonated with me, and I'll post about them later. My Sunday afternoon was spent cooking dinner (we had chicken enchiladas, yum!) reading and doing Bible study. All in all it was a very relaxing weekend.

This week is going to be so busy. It's only Monday, and I'm already panicking that I'm not going to get everything done. I am very busy at work, and I will be out of town for two days taking depositions. I will get back late Wednesday night, and then I leave again Friday afternoon. Not that I'm complaining about leaving again Friday. Oh, no, not at all. Friday afternoon a group of us girls are piling in a car and driving to Minneapolis to see this fine lady speak.

I am so excited to see Beth Moore I can barely contain myself!!! And, to top it off, it's my friend Shana's birthday on Friday, and we get to celebrate it with her!!! I'm so exited!!

So, have any of ya'll seen Beth Moore in person before? If so, what did you think? I do have to tell you all that I have spent the better part of the morning thinking about ways I could "accidentally" end up back stage to meet her. Hee hee! Anyone got any ideas for me ;)

PS. If you haven't left a comment or emailed me about the message board (and you want to), please do. If you are on the fence about it, please consider signing up, even if it's just to post your prayer requests. I really, really, really do love praying for you, and that way I would know your prayer requests. Anyway, just a thought....Now get back to thinking about ways to sneak me backstage ;)

Prayer Community

2008-07-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

I know I promised you details about the prayer community today, and since today is nearly over, I better get with the program! So, here's the skinny (as it currently stands, and believe me, it could change. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I want this to be productive and worthwhile for everyone involved!!)

Above all, I want this to be glorifying to God. This certainly is not about me. It's just something that God has laid on my heart, and I am humbled and grateful to be involved. It still amazes me daily that God has blessed me so much by bringing each of you into my life!

I have set up a Yahoo Group Account. This account has a message board where we can post prayer requests and a calendar where we can record answered prayers!! Here are a few things you might need or want to know about the Yahoo account.

1. It is a private account. This means that no random crazy person can log on and read our prayer requests or post any comments of any kind. You will have to be "invited" to join the group. Practically, that means I need your email address so you can log in.

2. Each person will have the ability to post their own prayer requests. This means that I won't moderate the posts. I'm doing this so you can post your prayer requests immediately and on your own time table. I also don't think moderation is necessary given our purpose and our goals. Which brings me to number 3.

3. I want this to be a safe place to share prayer requests. I want you so much to be able to be real there. I'm still playing around to see if there is a way to anonymously post requests, but I haven't figured that out yet. I pray that we won't need to do that anyway. I think it's great that most of us live far away from each other. Maybe that will free us up, so to speak. (And, for any of us who live near other members, let's face it, I'm sure they're already up in our bidness.) But, if there are sensitive prayer requests that need to remain anonymous, I'll find a way to make that happen. In the interim, if you have an anonymous request, please email it to me, and I will post it without referencing your name.

4. I also want this to be low maintenance because I know how busy we all are. Like I said, everyone is free to post prayer requests at any time. It's completely up to you how often you check the message board. To save you some time, I plan on compiling all the active prayer requests once a week and sending them out in one email. That way we can print them off and have them whenever and wherever we are praying. So, if you want to post whenever, but simply wait for the weekly email, that's golden. If you want to check it more often to make sure you have the most recent requests, that's fine too. It's completely up to you.

5. If you want to respond to some one's prayer request, by offering a written prayer or a scripture, I want you to feel free to do that. You can post them, or with the permission of the person requesting the prayer, send a direct email.

6. I am also planning on sending out a monthly calendar showing dates that prayers were answered. I think that it is so important not only to pray with one another but also to celebrate with each other. I also think that it is wonderful to offer praises in addition to offering prayer requests. So, if God has blessed you recently with something to praise Him for, I encourage you to post it. Let us celebrate with you!!

7. I pray that this prayer community would be a tool God uses to bring each of us closer to Him. So, in addition to other types of prayer requests, I want you to feel free to ask for spiritual prayer. For example, I have been struggling with getting out of bed in the morning for my quiet time. I would LOVE for you to pray that God gives me a supernatural kick out of bed in the mornings, or a full bladder. Whatever. I'm flexible. But you get the idea, right?

8. Finally, depending on the amount of people who want to be involved, we may need to make modifications, including limiting the size of the group, or perhaps, breaking off into pairs for a week or a month. But, we'll cross those bridges if and when we come to them. As my grandma says, I don't want to get the cart before the horse. Right now the only member of the prayer community is me.

So, bottom line, please leave me a comment or email me if you are interested. I will send you the link to the group. I can't tell you enough how special you all are to me. When I started blogging, I NEVER in a million, trillion years thought I would meet you amazing women (well, except the ones I knew already ;)). I LOVE to pray for you. It truly is an honor. And, I would love nothing more than to continue to do that.

I hope you all have a great weekend. I'm off to look for scanners tomorrow. Does anyone have a good photo scanner that they would recommend?

The Great Debate

2008-07-09T11:42:00.001-07:00

Throughout history there have been some great debates:

Calvinism vs. Arminianism

North vs. South

Coke vs. Pepsi

Bo vs. Luke

Jon Bon Jovi vs.

Well Jon Bon Jovi vs. no one because, come on, that one is not seriously in dispute.

And, along side these great debates have been many burning questions like:

Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone?

Who really shot J.R.?

And, most importantly,

WHAT happened to Michael Jackson????

But now, I bring you the burning question/debate of July 2008. What should I do with my hair?? Yep, that's right, it's time for me to get my hair done again, and as many of you know, this is a major event. I tend to change my hair color every time I get my hair done, although, admittedly, recently I've only been changing the shade of red. To help you make an informed contribution to this debate, I am going to steal Kelly's "hairumentry" idea and post pictures of my hair in various shades of the rainbow and in various different styles. Unfortunately, in order to do that, I have to go buy a new scanner because I kick it old school. So, stay tuned for pictures this weekend. But for now, you can help me out this way. Have you seen a hairstyle and/or color recently that you have liked? Perhaps on a celebrity? I am open to many suggestions. Just remember that I would prefer not to look like this:

Thanks in advance for helping me out. I know it will be more helpful after you see my hairumentry, but I'm working on it!

PS. I've still been praying about the prayer community, and I think I have some ideas. If I can write them down in any cogent or coherent fashion, I plan on posting them Friday. So, check back then. Ha! How's that for suspense!

If I Could Go Back in Time...

2008-07-08T19:16:00.001-07:00

Hey there everyone! I hope each of you had a great 4th of July weekend. We did NOTHING all weekend long. It was glorious. Well, mostly. But, I won't bore you with how I got sick over the weekend. Anyway, I feel like I should blog because I haven't blogged in awhile, but I don't really have anything exciting to blog about. Lying in bed watching the men's Wimbledon final doesn't make for good blogging material. But, can I just say I was pumped that Rafael Nadal won. I love him. Does anyone else like tennis???

On another note, I got a "save the date" card in the mail today. The "save the date" card is for a fundraising Gala that George and I go to almost every year. It is held at the Salisbury House, and it is fantastic!! The Salisbury House is a real, live castle located in Des Moines. It was built in the 1920s and was modeled after 16th Century English architecture. Here is a picture of the Salisbury House today.

It really is an amazing building, and the Salisbury House Foundation has done a tremendous job renovating it and keeping it up. The Foundation sponsors some great historical and musical events at the Salisbury House, and in the summer time, they have Shakespeare on the Lawn. To raise funds for the house, each September the Salisbury House holds the "Gatsby Gala." The Gatsby Gala is one of the best parties in town, but this is the best part: Everyone who attends the Gatsby Gala gets to dress up in their finest 1920s outfits. Now, I don't know about you, but I have always loved the 1920s. There is something very chic about that era, and I have always wanted to be a flapper.

So, since I don't have anything else to blog about, and to appease my good friend Julie who told me I don't post enough pictures, I thought I'd share a couple of pictures from the last Gatsby Gala.

Please ignore the fact that I look like a house. It's, um, all the feathers.

So, there you have it. Hopefully, we'll be able to go again this year. I better start practicing the Charleston now. But, before I do, what about you? If you could go back in time, what era would you want to visit?

I Knew It!

2008-07-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

Leigh Ann had one of these on her blog yesterday, and I wanted to try it. After all, who doesn't want to find out who his/her celebrity look-alikes are. Well, except for George, but under threat of great punishment, I've been forbidden to tell you who his celebrity matches were. So, instead, I will share mine. And, all I have to say is, I KNEW IT! I AM bad to the bone. Seriously. Don't laugh, y'all. You'll hurt my feelings. If you don't believe me, look for yourself.

As you can clearly see, I am a cross between Sydney Bristow and Xena the Warrior Princess. From now on you can refer to me as Xena Bristow. I would stay and chat more, but I have to go apply for a job at the CIA.

Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend everyone!! If you haven't told me how God has blessed you recently, please do!!

So That

2008-07-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

A group of women from my church are studying the story of Rahab of Jericho from Joshua in our summer session Bible study. We are using Francine River's novella on Rahab (in her Lineage of Grace series) to help facilitate the study. Last week we talked about the fact that while God destroyed all the people in Jericho, He saved Rahab. In fact, He saved her even though she was a Caananite prostitute. A few things struck me about this passage of Scripture, but what may have struck out the most is how faithful God is. He is faithful to His people, no matter where they are from, and no matter what their backgrounds are. We are all sinners, saved by grace, redeemed and restored by the blood of Christ. It amazed me how much He cares for us. It also struck me that Rahab's story was a wonderful, early Old Testament representation of God's faithfulness to uphold the promise He made to Abram in Genesis 12. Genesis 12:1-3 contains God's first covenental promise to His people.

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

“I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.”

Genesis 12:1-3.

In those verses, God promised that "all peoples on earth will be blessed through" Abraham and his offspring. In the battle of Jericho, God saved a Caananite prostitute, thereby, fulfilling His promise to bless people other than Abraham and his descendants.

As I was reading Genesis 12:1-3 again, I remembered something else. Awhile back I read an article that discussed these verses in the context of a missionary mandate. The author had said although God had clearly blessed Abraham in this passage, the promised blessing also came with a stated purpose: "you will be a blessing." According to the author, there was an implied "so that" in these verses. Abraham was blessed "so that" He would be a blessing, and God would bless Abraham "so that" all the peoples of the earth would be blessed. I don't know if that resonates with you, but it does with me. God has blessed me so that I will be a blessing to someone else. God has blessed you so that you will be a blessing to someone else. So, my question to you today is this: how has God blessed you recently, and who are you going to bless today because of it?

Since I posed the question, I'll start *wink*. God has blessed me with wonderful girlfriends, both here at home and in the blog world. So, today, I am going to try to reach out to someone I work with who struggles with feeling loved and accepted. Now, it's your turn. And, don't let me down here. I know God has blessed each of you. Tell me, and more importantly Him, that you realize it! I love you all.

Prayer, Prayer, Prayer

2008-07-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

Girls, I want to thank you for all of your input about the blogging prayer community! I will continue to pray about it, and I would appreciate it so much if you did, too. If you have any more ideas or suggestions, please feel free to leave comments or email me.

In the interim, if you have any prayer requests, please let me know. I love praying for you!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Other News

2008-06-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well, girls, I wish I had some exciting news about my weekend to give you, but unfortunately, I don't. As you know, George and I were supposed to go away this weekend. I think we had even decided to go to Kansas City. But, alas, we were unable to make it. Primarily because I didn't get out of bed until, oh, about 2:00 in the afternoon on Saturday. And, to be quite honest, I didn't actually ever leave the bedroom the entire day. It wasn't my fault, really. You see my body had been invaded. Invaded by the migraine monster. And, in case you aren't familiar with this body snatcher (and, seriously, I pray that you are not), he's a disco ball, strobe light, rock n' roll lovin' monster that likes to rock the boat. So, basically, he makes me nauseated, he makes everything look like it is a Picasso painting placed under some type of strobe light, and he makes me wish that the world was silent. Fun times, girls. Fun times. So, seriously, how boring was that??? I was so excited to go out of town, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Not this weekend anyway.

Sunday was better. We went to church, gorged ourselves at brunch, and then took naps. Well, at least the adults napped. The soon to be eleven year old is too good to nap. He obviously doesn't know what he is missing, but he'll learn someday. He is, after all, his mother's son, and there are few things in life I love more than a good nap. And, last night we had a women's ministry event at church. It involved a few of my favorite things, chocolate, coffee, and some of my favorite girlfriends. We were able to purchase tickets to see the Beth Moore simulcast the first weekend in August. I'm super excited because not only will I get to see the simulcast in August with my good friend, Julie, but a group of my best girlfriends are also heading up to Minneapolis to see her in July. I really can't wait for that. I love taking trips with my girlfriends.

On a completely different note, I wanted to solicit some opinions about something God has put on my heart. Over the last several months, it has been my absolute privilege to pray for many of you. I also know that many of you have prayed for me, and I am forever grateful for each one of those prayers. I would love to continue to pray for you, but sometimes I'm not certain what prayer requests you might have. (Some of you are great about letting people know your prayer needs, and I love that!) I also know that sometimes it is difficult to ask for prayer. Maybe it's just me, but I have noticed a couple of prayer phenomenons when it comes to prayer request time in a group setting. The first thing I notice is that most people have "no" prayer requests. I, myself, have often fallen into this category. When I thought about why I have failed to share prayer requests from time to time, I realized two things: one, either I thought my prayer request was too shallow. You know, something not "important" enough to be prayed about, or two, I though it was too deep, too raw, and too personal for me to share. Of course, in hindsight, those were the things that I should have asked everyone I knew to pray about. The second thing that I have noticed is that the people who do share prayer requests often are asking for prayer for someone else. Now, I certainly do not want to minimize the importance of praying for family and friends, but I think this phenomenon may be related to phenomenon number 1.

Anyway, to make a long story, well, longer, because I'm not done yet, I've been thinking about starting some type of blogging prayer community. Nothing fancy and nothing too time intensive. I know we are all busy. I don't know if any of you have read the Yada Yada Prayer books, but I was thinking of something along those lines. Except that we won't meet face to face or visit each other's churches. So, on second thought, I guess it is nothing like that. Hmm. What I was envisioning was a message board of sorts where we could post prayer requests for one another. I would also want to incorporate some type of calendar function, or some way of recording when the prayers are answered. Obviously, I am still thinking all this through. However it would work out, I would want it to be somewhere safe. Somewhere where we can ask for prayer for the things we deem either too trivial or too deep. You know, where we can stop being the Goldilocks of prayer requests and start being real people. So, while I'm still thinking this through, I would appreciate any insight or feedback you could give me. For example, would you be interested in something like this? If not, is there something that you would be interested in? What are your biggest needs in the area of prayer, i.e. a prayer partner, a forum to make prayer requests, or whatever? And, what would be most beneficial to you?

You can leave a comment, or email me if you prefer. Either way, please let me know your thoughts. I have a hundred different ideas in my head, but I never know if they are practical. And, I have no idea if anyone would even be interested in such a thing. So, anyway, please let me know what you think. I love you!

Drum Roll Please!

2008-06-27T07:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it's already Friday, which means it's time to announce the winner of the giveaway. I know you are all sitting on pins and needles, right? OK, well maybe not, so enough with the suspense. I used random.org to pick a random number between 1-31, inclusive, and random.org came up with this...

True Random Number Service
Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:5
Timestamp: 2008-06-27 14:13:05 UTC

Yes, I believe that is a number 5. And, according to my count, numero cinco is Dawn. So, congratulations, Dawn!! Email me your contact information, and I will work on getting your prize in the mail.

I also want to thank everyone else who entered the giveaway! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm certainly glad that I had a giveaway because I've already made some great new friends. And, that is always exciting.

But, before you go, I must know. What are your weekend plans? George and I are going to this little restaurant in a town that's about an hour away tonight for dinner. They have the BEST prime rib there. And, then tomorrow, we're getting up early and driving somewhere. Where, you ask. Well, that's a good question. We haven't decided yet. I guess you could say that we like to live by the seat of our pants, but really we're just indecisive. Yep, completely unable to make routine decisions. That's us. But, what can I say? That's just how we roll. So, anyway, who knows. We may be coming to your city. You just never know.

1 And 11

2008-06-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

Alright, I have to tell you that I've had the lyrics to "I'm So Excited" in my head since yesterday. Just think of me as the fifth Pointer Sister. You know, the very pale one. So, help me out here girls. You know how the song goes. "I'm so excited and I just can't hide it." What, you're asking why I'm so excited? Well, that's easy. It's because my sweet friend Caroline gave me my first blog award!! When I checked her blog yesterday, I saw that she had given me this award:

And, let me tell you it made my day to receive this award, and it made my day even more wonderful because it came from Caroline. Caroline is a wonderful, godly woman who is beautiful, inside and out. She is personable and funny, and her laughter and smile are contagious. She is a prayer warrior and encourager to so many women. Caroline is an authentic, genuine lover of the body of Christ, but more importantly she is an authentic, genuine lover of Christ. She encourages me in so many different ways, and I am so thankful to have the opportunity to call her my friend. I love you, Caroline!!

I've been reading a book called 11 Indispensable Relationships You Can't Be Without by Leonard Sweet. Basically, the premise of the book is that you need friends to get through this crazy journey called life, and according to the author, there are 11 friends, in particular, that you need to have. For example, Mr. Sweet suggests that you need an Editor like Nathan was to David, a Yoda like Peter and Paul were, a true friend like Jonathan was to David, and an encourager like Barnabas.

When I first started reading this book, I concentrated on myself. Who was my Nathan, my Jonathan, my Barnabas? But, as I was reading the chapter on Barnabas, something struck me. Mr. Sweet said that sometimes we are called to encourage people we don't even know. A couple of things occurred to me when I read that. The first was that as important as it is to have all 11 indispensable friends, it is equally as important to be those 11 friends to someone else. After all, we will more than likely have an opportunity to be each of the 11 indispensable friends to at least 11 different people at some point in our lives.

The second thing that struck me, however, was a little more personal to me. One of the very first blogs I read was Kelly's. And, for whatever reason, God chose to put her on my heart. It was very clear to me that I was supposed to be praying for her and encouraging her. What made this slightly awkward for me was that we didn't know each other. At all. So, I resisted. My pride and my ego got in my way for quite awhile. I listened to the voices in my head that said, "She's going to think that you are a freak and a stalker." But, God wouldn't let it go. She was on my heart constantly, and since it didn't appear that God was going to let me out of this one just because I was scared of rejection, I pressed on. I did pray for her. I did email her. And, yes, the entire time I was doing so, I felt like a freak and a stalker. And, yes, she probably thought so, too!

But, what I want to say is this. I am so thankful that God wouldn't let it go, and I am so thankful that I pushed through my fears and was obedient. If I hadn't pressed through, I would have missed out on a huge blessing. I would have missed out on knowing what an awesome person Kelly is. I wouldn't have been able to see how deep her faith is and how important it is to her. I would have missed out on her warm smile that comes from her inner joy and hope in the Lord. I would have missed out on learning what we have in common, and I wouldn't have been able to put a sweet voice to her picture. I would have missed a great blessing.

And, not only would I have missed the blessing that Kelly has been to me, I would have missed out on meeting most of my other blogging buddies. Because, let's face it, I found most of the rest of ya'll from her blog roll! It has been so much fun to get to know all of you. I love learning about you, and I hope that I will continue to get that opportunity. I love chatting with you all, especially the ones who live nearby but I don't get to see often enough, via blog comments and email, and we all know how much I love to talk on the phone! You are all such a blessing to me. More than I could ever be able to convey with my words. I love you all so much!! I do, I do.

But, now I must pass on my award to another deserving woman. Specifically, I pass on my award to this wonderful lady.

Julia

Julia is simply awesome. Her blog is so cute. I always look forward to reading her posts, and I miss her terribly when she has the day off from work ;) She is a gorgeous woman inside and out. She has a heart for the Lord, and she is on the worship team at her church. And, just let me tell ya that the girl has got it goin' on. She can sing. She is is a celebrity at my house! She is also a model of health and fitness and is always willing to help a sister out. And, I love that about her. So, Julia, this one's for you, friend! You do make my day, all the time!

I know I said it before, and I'll probably be saying it another billion times, but I love each of you so much. I'm honored to consider you gals my friends!!

So, you have to tell me, though, how do your friends make your day?

Domo Arigato, Mr. Robato

2008-06-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday, which means we are over the hump. Woo hoo! And, after yesterday's post, I thought I'd better lighten things up a bit. So, here goes...

Last night I was chatting with my good friend Caroline on the telephone. As some of you may know she is leaving for Japan next week to go on a three week mission trip. (If you don't know about it, head over to her blog and read about it.) And, after chatting about how cool it is that she gets to go to Japan, our conversation digressed to a topic close to my heart: Japanese game shows. Yes, wipe that shocked look off your face. I did, indeed, say Japanese game shows. Sheesh, you would have thought I said fart or something.

So, anyway, I was telling Caroline about my two favorite Japanese game shows, Ninja Warrior and Unbeatable Banzuke. Unfortunately, she was unfamiliar with these two TV gems. So, this one's for you, girlfriend.

Unbeatable Banzuke

Because, seriously, what could be better than watching someone navigate an obstacle course on their hands. (Other than the riveting subtitled commentary). Well...

Ninja Warrior

Maybe watching that. Because, once again, what could be more entertaining than watching people roll on logs and jump on little trampolines? Nothin', that's what. Well, except maybe getting to say "Ninja Warrior, hi-ya" and doing a little hand chop action when someone asks what you are watching.

Now, how about you? What's your favorite game show?

The Court of Public Opinion

2008-06-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

Good morning girls! I hope you are having a good Tuesday. I want to thank everyone who has entered my giveaway. If you haven't entered yet, please do. You have until Thursday night to get in on the action. boscia is a really good, organic skin care line. And, you can't beat free stuff, right? (And, you should probably do that now, or you may get sidetracked by the lengt of this post...)

I need to share some things that God has laid on my heart over the last several weeks. I am so very hesitant to share this because, girls, it is raw and not pretty. There is simply no way that you can wrap a pretty little bow around this one. I would be hesitant to share it at any time, but I am even more hesitant to share it on the heels of my giveaway. Thanks to Kelly's shout out, people are streaming over here! And, I love that. But, I'm afraid that I'll scare them off with this post, and I don't want to do that. I want people to like me, and there will be more about that later. Unfortunately for my ego and my pride, God won't let it go. I know that I am supposed to write about this now, and so, I will. In fact, I think my heart will burst if I don't get this out. Just so you know, it will take me the next couple of days to get this all out. Brevity is not my strong suit, but I will try not to write a novel. It is completely up to you, however, whether you continue reading or not. (Even if you don't, please use the above link to enter the giveaway!).

Many of you know that I was not reared in a Christian home. I was in and out of churches for brief periods of time as a child and again as a teenager, but it didn't "stick." I mean, I knew about Jesus, and I believed He existed, but I never made any personal connection with Him. I didn't get what He had done for me, personally, and my life reflected that fact.

My teenage years were at the best tumultuous, and at the worst completely and utterly destructive. Looking back on them, it is a miracle in itself that I am still breathing. Certainly my life epitomizes the saying, "But for the grace of God goes I." During those years, I don't ever remember having any Christian friends. Now, I'm not saying that none of my friends were Christians, but I am saying that I don't consciously recall any who were open with their faith. Now, that's not to say that I didn't have friends. I had friends. I am a true extrovert and a people person. I've met very few people in my life that I haven't liked. But, to be real, that's been a problem for me. My lack of discernment has, at times, been problematic for me. I have entered into relationships of various types with people who were not beneficial for me to be around. Please hear me. I'm not saying that they were bad people, I'm just saying they weren't right for me. Regardless of that fact, however, I was drawn to them.

I try to be better about entering into relationships with people these days, but that brings with it a new set of problems: I am petrified that they won't like me. And, girls, maybe some of you can relate, but that is a terrible feeling.

And, it is something that I am wholly unfamiliar with. Can I be honest, here? I spent almost my entire twenties not caring what people thought about me. It was my mantra. Either you liked me or you didn't. I wanted you to, but if you didn't, it mattered very little to me. These days, however, it seems like my happiness rises or falls on how much I feel other people like me. Oh, and let's not even talk about the fear. And, I can't do it any more. God has been poking me about it, and I have attempted to rationalize my feelings in some manner, but I can't. There is no way to do it. It's a sin on so many different levels, and, girls, it is exhausting. I'm tired of walking on eggshells, wondering whether people will understand my sense or humor or will relate to me on a certain issue.

As some of you know, I am going through Beloved Disciple with my one of my favorite blog friends, Caroline. And, this verse from Acts was contained in one of our most recent days of study:

Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Acts 3:6.

In discussing this verse, Beth Moore talked about how she was chosen to be part of a group of speakers shortly after 9/11. She said that she felt (this is my paraphrase) inadequate because she was not trained as a counselor. During this time, God brought this verse from Acts to her mind. She said she felt God was telling her that she didn't have to try to be something she wasn't, she just needed to be herself. And, girls, let me tell you, I needed to hear that! PTL!!! I just need to be myself. And, then at church this past Sunday our Pastor was preaching out of 1 Corinthians, and his sermon was on the body of Christ. Specifically, it was on how God has gifted everyone differently in the body of Christ, and although, we are all different, we are all important and significant. Hallelujah, God finds me significant, even if people do not!!!

So, I'm just going to say it, friends. I fart. Yes, in fact, I do. I also have a strange obsession with rap music, I sleep with a stuffed monkey, and sometimes I go for weeks without shaving my legs (in the winter). I have a problem with road rage, and I often speed. I can be mean, especially to the people closest to me. I like to argue, and I almost always think I'm right. I have an opinion about EVERYTHING, and I don't mind sharing them. Sometimes I'd rather sleep than shower, and I love calculus. (I mean the math class not the gross stuff they scrape off your teeth at the dentist. Hmm, is that spelled the same way as the math class...I don't know. But, while I'm making confessions, I don't floss everyday either, and I dream of tripping my dental hygienist for all the pain she puts me through...) And, I could go on and on girls.

So, my point is, I may never have the most friends, and my blog might not ever be cool, and I can't give you what I don't have (and girls, I'm going to stop trying), but I can give you what I do have. And, that is honesty, loyalty, friendship, and love. Those things I do have, and those things I give to you!

It's Just Another Manic Monday But With A Give Away

2008-06-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Monday again. How can that be possible? Is it just me, or does it feel like it was just Friday? Oh well, regardless of how I feel, it's Monday. How were your weekends? Mine was completely uneventful. Completely. For example, I was in bed and asleep at 8:00 Friday night. Yes, you read that correctly, and no, that is not a typo. What can I say, I'm a party animal. That's not the worst of it, though. The worst is that I slept until 9:00 Saturday morning! Could I be any more lazy? On second thought, please don't answer that. The rest of my weekend was equally uneventful, with the exception of Kelly's wonderful news, of course!! Congratulations again, girlfriend! I am so happy for you!

And, now it's Monday. And, I sit here at my desk, wondering again what to blog about. I don't know if I've thanked you all for reading my blog, but in case I haven't told you how much I appreciate each of you, please know that I do. I know that at my best, my posts won't be winning me a Pulitzer anytime soon, and I know that recently they have been even less interesting. In way of an explanation, I am going through some things right now, spiritually speaking, that I am struggling with. I just don't feel that I am at a point where I can communicate about them with any type of coherency. I'm struggling through, though, and if and when I do have words, I will share them with you. So, thank you for hanging in there with me! I love you all!

Now, about that give away. If you've made it this far, I have a little treat for you. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get any skincare ideas from you. I mean, I know ya'll wash your faces, right? So, I thought I would bribe you. Yes, I did say bribe. But, really you could consider it the first official give away on my blog. And, since there are only a handful of you who read this thing, you have a pretty good shot at winning the giveaway.

So here are the rules. In order to enter the giveaway, you must leave me a comment, telling me your favorite skincare product. And, girls, it does not have to be anything fancy or expensive. Cetaphil rocks our world. We always have a bottle of it on hand. And, my great, great aunt Ethel had some of the best skin ever, and she always attributed it to washing her face with Lava soap. You know, that green, gritty soap men use after they get all dirty working on stuff. It worked for her, seriously. Anyway, my point is that it can be anything, but it must be something that works for you. And, if you win, you will get your choice, based on skin type, of course, of one of the following skin care travel kits from boscia. (courtesy of yours truly)

Each comes with a cleanser, tonic, day moisturizer, and night moisturizer. So what are you waiting for? Leave me a comment and get entered. I'll accept comments up through 11:59 p.m. CST on Thursday, June 26th. And, I will use one of those random thingies (how's that for technical) to pick a winner Friday morning. Oh, and George, don't even think about it buddy. You're not eligible. This is for us girls only.

That's Inspectress Gadget to You!

2008-06-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

True confession time. I'm a gadget geek. Oh, yes I am, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I love, love, love to get new gadgets. And, I'm not horribly particular about the type of gadget. I love music gadgets, computer gadgets, really any type of gadget. So, I guess you could say that I am an equal opportunity gadget lover.

With that said, however, I LOVE skin care products. George would probably tell you that I am obsessed. Well, on second thought he probably wouldn't tell you that because then I might tell you that he secretly uses my anti-aging lotions when he thinks I'm not looking. Really, I have tried, and will try, just about every type of skincare product out there. So, imagine my delight when there is a skincare product that is also a gadget. Oh, it's so exciting, I can barely stand it.

You see my mom got me this little toy for Christmas last year.

It's a Clarisonic skincare system. Or, as is sometimes lovingly referred to at our house, the electric toothbrush for your face. Classy. I know. What can I say, we try. Let me tell you girls, this thing is a-ma-zing. I mean, seriously, if I knew who invented this thing, I would find him/her and give him/her a hug. And, I'm not generally a hugger. Well, unless I'm nervous or giddy, or, well, it doesn't matter. I'm digressing again. Back to the Clarisonic. This thing is a deep cleanin', skin softenin' machine. I love, love, love it! I do, I do.

What about you? What's your favorite skincare product? And, if you don't have one, that's cool. Just tell me your favorite gadget or something you use all the time. I'm always looking for new ideas!

Happy Friday girls. Have a great weekend!!

Weekend Getaway

2008-06-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

Next weekend George and I are going to get out of here for awhile and go somewhere for the weekend. There is just one slight problem. We have no idea where we are going. So, here's where you come in. I thought maybe you all could help me plan our getaway!

I have to work on Friday, so we will definitely need to go somewhere close by. So, I would probably not want to drive more than four hours away. So here's what I was thinking.

1. Minneapolis, Minnesota.

George and I used to travel to Minneapolis at least once, if not twice, a year. So, we would know our way around, including all of the good shopping and eating places!! (See, I have priorities.)

We always stay here:

The Marriott in downtown Minneapolis. They have free parking, and this hotel is close to these places.

A girl's dream....Everything a girl could ever want, but almost never afford. But, still it's fun to look, and shop the sale floors!

While Minneapolis is wonderful, I see two downsides to going there. One, I will be there in July when I go see Beth Moore. Yippie! And, two, we always go there. So, here is another possibility.

2. Kansas City, Missouri.

Now, I know for a fact that I have at least one Missouri native in the house, and I fully expect her opinion. Hint, hint, Julie D.. Despite the fact that it's been on the list for several years now, George and I have not yet made it down to KC to stay at the Plaza. I know that they have these fine retailers there.

BCBGMAXAZRIA

BETSY JOHNSON

And, I have wanted to stay here FOREVER.

The Raphael

I don't know. What do you all think? Any ideas or suggestions. I am not necessarily tied to either of these places. I mean, we could always get crazy and go farther away from home. So, tell me, where do you think we should go?

We're Over The Hump--It's Wednesday!

2008-06-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Wednesday! Yippie. The work week is half over! Thank you for your comments about the cell phone situation. I appreciate them! For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of what my first cell phone looked like...

Alright, so it wasn't quite that big, but you get the idea. I did date a guy who had one of those cool car phones with the goofy antennas when I was in high school. I thought it was great because I could call him any time I wanted to. So, obviously, I did. Usually from a pay phone because, well, because I didn't have a brick phone attached to my car. But, I did call him a lot. You know, to check on his well being and stuff. He didn't think that was nearly as great of an idea as I did. And, apparently neither did his mother. But, seriously, how was I supposed to know it cost a lot to call a car phone. It only cost me a quarter to call him from the pay phone. Whatever...

Well, enough reminiscing for one day. Girls! It's Wednesday!! Woo hoo! I am counting down the days until Saturday because I plan to sleep in as much as my body will let me. I am so tired from all of our cleaning and remodeling efforts. Every day this week, I have woken up shaking. I hate being that tired. So, I am going to s-l-e-e-p in baby. And, in the words of Mr. T., I pity the fool who wakes me up. What are your plans for the weekend? Do you have anything exciting planned?

I'm going to try to do as little as possible, but I do have to sit down and make some travel arrangements. I almost never go anywhere, but I am going on a few trips over the next several months. Most of them are for work, but I also want to plan a little family vacation. Somewhere relaxing. Hopefully, somewhere with a lot of sun. Got any suggestions for me? Where do you like to go to get away?

Well, I better get back to work. I hope you all have a great Wednesday. Maybe my mind will start working better soon, and I will have something more exciting to blog about!! (I'm open to ideas ;)

Thanks for Thinking About Us!

2008-06-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

Hey there! I'm back from the depths of our basement. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get on here and update everyone. We are all just fine up here. Tired, but fine! Thank you so much to all of you who have been thinking about or praying for us. It means so much to me! The flooding that was near us wasn't nearly as bad as the flooding people in the northern part of the state experienced. Downtown Des Moines was a little flooded, but that was because they let the flood gates down on one of the larger lakes in this part of the state. We live in a suburb of Des Moines, and there was really no flooding at all so to speak in the suburbs. Well, except for a few basements, ours included. We live at the bottom of a hill, and bottom of hill + faulty sump pump=plenty o' water! But, like I said, not as much water as the people who live in the northern part of the state had to deal with. I mean, we had several inches of water throughout our entire basement, but some of the people in the northern part of the state had several FEET of water in their houses. Many people up there lost everything they owned. It really is a disaster area up there, and it puts our little basement mess into some perspective!!

Other than that little update, I have nothing to blog about. Well, at least nothing interesting. I mean, I could tell you about what a wimp I am. I could tell you how I could barely take a shower this morning because it hurt to lift my arms above my head. I mean, who knew I had so many muscles in my shoulders and back. Or, I could tell you about how many times I've talked to my insurance agent, or how I had to argue with the waste management people to get a dumpster delivered. Or, I could tell you about how many gallons of bleach I've purchased for the great basement clean-up. But, those things aren't really that interesting. In fact, they are not interesting at all!

So, instead, I have a little poll for you all. W's birthday is in less than two months. He will be eleven. He only has one item on his birthday list (so far): a cell phone. Now, I don't think he is even close to being old enough to have a cell phone. I mean, why in the world would an eleven year old need a cell phone? When I ask him this, W. tells me, "But, mom, all my friends have one." Well, I don't know about you, but that isn't really a reason to me. I can think of some reasons why having a cell phone would be beneficial--he would always have a way to call if he was in trouble, but I'm not sure that outweighs the reasons not to have a cell phone. So, what do you think? What is the proper age to get a child a cell phone. I mean, maybe I'm right, or maybe I'm out of touch with the current generation (I mean, I remember knowing all the words to "Parents Just Don't Understand"). I was way older than eleven when I got my first cell phone. Of course, that could have been because they hadn't been invented when I was eleven. And, let's not even talk about the fact that when I did get one, it was the size of a small child. Oh, come on, tell me you remember how big cell phones were way back then??? Anyway, I would love your opinions, so let me have them!

Time Warp

2008-06-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was day 2 of the great basement flood clean-up, and last night we tackled the extra large storage closet, also known as the time warp. Let's just say that after I entered the time warp I felt a little like Brendan Fraser in Blast from The Past. (Yes, I know, I'm probably the only person on the planet who sat through that entire movie. I didn't see it at the theater though, which was probably good because I got way too excited during the swing dancing scene. But, as usual, I digress...) Upon entering the time warp, I quickly realized that I was no longer in the year 2008. No, it was quite obvious that I had, in fact, been transported back in time to the year Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Two.

Yep, I think my entire childhood was contained in that storage closet, and here is just a sampling of the things I found in the time warp.

1. My dance costumes for each of the years I danced, including an entire bag full of dance shoes.

2. A box of Barbie dolls and Barbie doll clothes, including a pair of stylin' Barbie cowgirl boots.

(I only wish mine were still in the original boxes!)

3. One of my softball uniforms, complete with glove and cleats.

4. Chatty Patty. Anyone else remember her? I tried to find a picture of her on the internet, but couldn't find a good one.

And,

5. Every piece of Strawberry Shortcake and Cabbage Patch Kid paraphernalia I ever owned. Oh yeah, vintage, early 1980s, baby.

I had completely forgotten that I even had most of this stuff, and now that it is sitting in the middle of my living room floor, I'm wondering why I still have all of this stuff. I mean, it is very unlikely that I am going to play softball in my pointe shoes, or that I am going to play with Strawberry Shortcake's Berry Happy Home anytime soon. Maybe I should give it away or sell it? What do you all think? Do you still have your childhood in boxes, or have you parted with it yet? And, even if you have parted with it, what was your favorite childhood toy?

Just as a side note, I will say, however, that I am holding out hope that my Easy Bake Oven and Atari 2600 are in one of those boxes. Because I would totally bake George a cake and then kick his behind at Pac-Man. That would be kickin', don't you think?

I Can Tell You One Thing...

2008-06-09T07:55:00.000-07:00

Noah did not build our house.

I came home from church yesterday morning to find standing water in our basement. We have been getting so much rain lately, like 3" in an hour and a half yesterday morning, and most of it came right on into our basement. I guess our sump pump failed, and that caused our problem. At first I thought the water was contained to one room, but it wasn't. Our basement is fully finished, and the water was in three of the four rooms. So we spent ten hours yesterday, ripping up carpet and moving furniture and other things off of the floor.

I don't know if you have every tried cutting wet carpet with a box cutter and then trying to rip it up off the floor. If you have, God bless you. I feel your pain. If you haven't, and the need ever arises, I think you can hire people to do that. FIND THEM!! When we weren't cutting carpet and moving furniture, we were sucking a gabillion gallons of water off the floor with our shopvacs. Needless to say, it was a LONG, hard day.

Since I am ever the optimist (well, except for yesterday. Not so much then. But I have more perpective now...), here are a few positive things and/or things you can learn when having a flood in your basement.

1. Count your blessings for every item that was not destroyed by the flood waters. It will really take your mind off of the things that are ruined.

2. When you buy brand new book cases, don't put them in your basement...EVER. But, be thankful that even though the book cases don't look so good now, the flood waters didn't get high enough to get to your books.

3. Take time to realize just how (physically) strong you really are. After many hours of demonstrating your amazing strength, it may be appropriate to do the happy dance. I would suggest, however, that you don't wait to do the happy dance until the next morning...because you might be too sore to get out of bed and dance.

4. Be thankful that you actually went to the grocery store the day before, and that you were already cooking enough food to feed an army. That way you were prepared to feed your family members who came to help you.

5. There's nothing like kicking the deep cleaning into overdrive. It may be forced, but at least this way, the cleaning will be done before 2025.

6. Now you have a legitimate excuse not to use the treadmill.

7. When in a moment of weakness, you have substantially overpaid for a pair of shoes, always remember to put them back in their proper place. Do not take them off and leave them on the floor, thinking you'll put them away tomorrow.

8. And, last, but not certainly not least, now you can do what every woman was born to do. Go SHOPPING!!

So, ladies, that's what I did this weekend. How about you? How was your weekend?

Some Random Stuff About Me

2008-06-05T07:29:00.000-07:00

A'right. It's Thursday, and that is awesome. W. started his summer camp today, and he's excited to hang out with his friends. I'm SWAMPED at work right now. In fact, I have a million things running through my head that I need to accomplish, but right now, I want to spend some time with you. So, that's what I'm doing. My sweet friend Kelly posted a questionnaire on her blog, and I thought I would participate. So, here goes...

Favorite Person (outside of family)? There is no way I can pick just one person. I know you are probably sick of reading about how much I love my friends, but it is true. I do love my friends, especially my girlfriends. I love how each one has a unique personality and is uniquely gifted. I learn so much from each of my friends, and I love them all. I just don't believe that you can ever have too many friends, and I love making new ones. So there. My favorite people are my friends, especially my girlfriends!

Favorite Food? You have got to be kidding me. I have to choose one? That's just not fair. That's kind of like asking a mother which one of her children she loves more. I suppose if I HAD to choose, I would probably say steak. I love a yummy steak, as long as it is cooked correctly!

Quirks About You? This question would probably be better posed to George. I'm more than likely biased. Of course, he may be afraid to tell the truth for fear of ugly repercussions, so maybe I need to answer after all...Alright then, I would say I'm truly geeky, I like to make up my own words, I've been known to bust out in song at random moments in time (and, yes, I dance too), I play with my eyelashes when I'm tired, and I can carry on conversations in my sleep.

Regrets in Life? Absolutely. I know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. But, I wish I had given God more cooperation along the way. God really has worked a lot of junk in my past for the good, and here I am now. So, it's not all a loss. I am forever thankful for God's grace and mercy!

Favorite Blog Recently? See, Answer to question number 1. All of them! I love learning about each of you.

What Job Would You Pay NOT to Have? Anything that has to do with or is in anyway connected to a circus. Well, except maybe the trapeze artist...

Favorite Bible Verse Right Now? "John replied in the words of Isaiah the prophet, "I am the voice of one calling in the desert, 'Make straight the way for the Lord.' " John 1:23. Why? Because I want to point the people in my life to Jesus. Instead of attempting to fix everything for them, I just need to point them to Jesus. Oh, and it's currently my favorite verse because it's one of the verses for the Bible study I'm doing with CAROLINE!!! She is so cute, and so is her voice! I can't wait to study this with you, girlfriend!

Got Any Confessions? Ha ha, ha ha, ha. Wouldn't you like to know?

If You HAD to Spend $1,000.00 on Yourself, How Would You Spend It? Oh, let's see. Spa treatments, skin care products, and personal training sessions.

Favorite Thing About Your House? Being in close proximity to those I love most in the world...My pictures of Jon Bon Jovi. Ha! Just kidding people; it's just a joke. No, seriously, I love being around my boys. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

One Thing You Are Bad At? One, only one? Well, I am terrible at relinquishing control. And, I am terrible about living without structure. Let's just say, I love itineraries.

One Thing You Are Good At? Talking. I love to talk, and I can do all kinds of talk. I can talk nice, or I can argue with you. Whatever you prefer. I guess that's why I went to law school. Well, that and Ally McBeal.

If You Could Change Anything About Your Circumstances, What Would You Change? Sisters, I would get a new job. Hands down, that's what I'd change!

Who Would You Like To Meet Someday? I want to meet any of you that I haven't met, of course. I would also love to meet Beth Moore.

Who Is Your Real Life Hero? Well, if you're talking about an earthly hero, I've been asked this before, and I really don't know. We all come from such different backgrounds and circumstances. Some of us have had it easier than others, but we all face troubles, and we've all overcome something. I admire everyone who has struggled to overcome something in her life, or is still struggling with it, but hasn't given up. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't pick an earthly person. I admire so many people for so many different reasons. If He can be real, and alive, but not earthly, then my Hero is Jesus. Because He is worthy!

When Are You Most Relaxed? When I'm with the people I love.

What Stresses You Out? Ha! L-I-F-E, baby! It all has a tendency to stress me out, but if I had to pick one thing, right now it would be my place of employment.

Why Do You Blog? I started this blog on a whim. I just thought I could write about random things that were going on in my life, and obviously, that is exactly what I do. But, I would have never stuck with it if my friends hadn't been faithful readers, and if I hadn't made some great blog friends. It's really a funny thing, these blogs. Even though I've never met most of you, I feel as if I know you. And, I really do consider you to be my friends. Maybe you don't feel the same way, and if you don't, please don't tell me, but you're all friends to me. And, you're all just as dear to me as the wonderful, marvelous, and amazing friends I am blessed to see on a regular basis. So, I blog because it's all about the bike. Just kidding. It's all about you, girlfriends, and I love you!

School's Out for Summer

2008-06-04T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's official. School's out for the summer. W. had his last day of fifth grade yesterday. I seriously cannot believe that he will be in the sixth grade next year. He keeps getting older and older, and I guess that means I do, too. On some days I feel like I'm getting older, but on other days I don't. Does anyone know what I mean? I mean, when I was younger, I don't think I ever pictured myself being any older than 21, and even though I am older than that now, a lot of days I don't feel like it. Anybody else?

Anyway, like I said W. out of school for the summer. He's already living the life of leisure. He didn't roll out of bed until 9:45 this morning. Nice. From now on he'll be swimming, bowling, and hanging out with his friends almost every day. But, I don't think he should have all the summer fun. So, I have been brainstorming ways I can feel like I am on summer vacation, too. So, here's what I came up with so far.

1. I could wear my sunglasses all day in my office. You know, pretend the florescent lights are really the sun. (Potential problems. The people I work with might think that I have a hangover or that I've gone blind. Either way that could cause problems...)

2. I could buy a bunch of those little drink swords, put a couple cherries on them, and put them in my cups of coffee. (Potential problems. I think the little swords would be smaller than my giganto coffee cup. They might, therefore, be a choking hazard. I wonder if the little umbrellas would work better?)

3. I could get an ice cream cone or a cherry coke (or both) from the pharmacy near my office. You see, one of the longest, locally owned pharmacies is near my office. That's really not all that exciting (unless you like to shop local, like I do), until you realize that they have a SODA FOUNTAIN!! Not only do they have homemade ice cream that is to die for, they also make real cherry cokes. You know REAL cherry cokes with lots of syrup and stuff. YUM!!! (Potential problems. I would have to find a way to unchain myself from my desk, and if I managed to get that accomplished, I would have to push my way through the throng of junior high kids who hang at at the soda fountain every day. Well, until they learn not to mess with the old lady and her ice cream cone...)

4. I could come to work dressed in beach gear. You know, swimsuit, cover-up, flip flops, a big straw hat, and, of course, sunscreen, including a big, white stripe of it down my nose. (Potential problems. I don't think that qualifies at courtroom appropriate attire. Maybe if I wore high heels instead of flip flops?)

5. OK, if I couldn't come completely decked out in beach gear, maybe I could at least wear floaties on my arms. (Potential problems. I'm not sure I would get past courthouse security, and that could be bad. Very, very bad...)

Alright, it looks like I'm striking out here. What are you going to do to get into the summer fun? Do you have any ideas for me?

This is Your Brain on VH1

2008-06-02T17:40:00.000-07:00

OK ya'll. If you are expecting deep thoughts, you have come to the wrong place today. I just got done watching five--yes, count them 1, 2, 3, 4, 5--hours of VH1 Classic. (Well, I watched it last night--when I started this post.) I really couldn't help myself, they were counting down the top 100 songs of the 1980s. Hello. What could be better than that? Well, watching it with a ten-year old. That's what. Because what kind of trip down memory lane isn't enhanced by comments made by someone who is younger than some of my shoes. What? You think I'm kidding? Au contraire, mademoiselle. See for yourself.

Hour 1 of the 100 Greatest Songs of the 1980s brought such hits as "Down Under," "Working For the Weekend," "Walking on Sunshine," and "Everybody Have Fun Tonight." It also, however, brought Debbie Gibson's "Only in My Dreams." Oh, come on. You remember that song, don't you? Because I do. Apparently, I still know all the words. And, that prompted the ten-year old to ask, "What is this??" As if it was sub-standard music or something. OK, OK, maybe you can't argue with everything the ten-year old says.

But, during hour 1 of my 80s lovefest, we also heard such classics like "Addicted to Love," "All Night Long," "Ain't Nobody," and "Rock Me Amadeus." (Oh, yes, Falco's in the house). We also heard "Word Up" which, of course, prompted me to waive my hands in the air like I didn't care. I even did it in time with Cameo. And, my awesome display of insyncness prompted this question from the ten year-old, "How do you remember that dance from over twenty years ago?" Please hear me. *Clearing my throat loudly.*

During hour 2, we heard more musical classics such as "Candy Girl," "Call Me," "99 Luftballoons," "One Thing Leads to Another," and the queen of the break-up mixed tape, "I Want to Know What Love Is." We also heard "It Takes Two," and you may have noticed that I have a soft spot in my heart for old school rap. The ten-year old, however, was neither impressed with my rapping ability nor my ability to pantomime spinning the turntables.

As an aside, I was pleased to see that the ten year old had somewhere along the way learned the lyrics to "I Love Rock N' Roll." Well, at least to the chorus. And, I'm sure that would have made Joan Jett proud.

Hour 3 of my lovefest brought songs such as "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)," "Fight for Your Right," (I *heart* Mike D. I know I do because it is written all over my algebra notebook), "London Calling," and "Total Eclipse of The Heart." We also heard "Mickey" which, of course, prompted me to do an impromptu cheerleading routine. I even included a couple of cartwheels to which the ten-year old responded, "Mom, are you sure you should be doing that? You might hurt yourself." *Clearing my throat loudly.* After catching my breath, I said "I'm not gonna take it." And, then I did my best Dee Snyder impression. It would have worked better if I had longer hair or had been wearing a lot more makeup. A lot more makeup.

Hour 4 contained even more wonderful songs from the 80s. We heard a little Wham with "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." We also heard "Love Shack," "I Melt With You," "Too Shy" (Because who doesn't love a band that's named Kajagoogoo), and "Girls Just Want to Have Fun." But when the Cure's "Just Like Heaven" came on, W. asked me, "Mom, are you a goth?" Um, no. Even though I do where a lot of black. But that has to do with the size of my hips. And, I'm pretty sure that goths didn't exist, at least by that name in the 80s, did they? But, more importantly, how does a ten-year old know what a goth is???

Finally, hour five. Yes, the top 20 songs from the 1980s. Because we all wanted to "Walk Like An Egyptian" while we "Walk[ed] This Way." And, I would still do that "With Or Without You" even though "Billie Jean" is not my lover and even though I'm "Hungry Like the Wolf." When they announced the number 1 song of the 80s, W. asked me, "Mom, why are you jumping up and down, yelling so loudly." Because. Because that's what you do when Jon Bon Jovi is on TV. Oh, yes it is. I've been doing that since 1986. And, I'll keep doing it for as long as I'm able to jump up and down. Because I *heart* *heart* *heart* Jon Bon Jovi. What about you? What band did you *heart* in the 80s?

Birthday Shout Out

2008-06-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

Today is my friend Stephanie's Birthday.

Steph and I went to high school together. We bonded immediately because (1) we both drove Buicks and (2) we both bought our make-up from Merle Norman. Yes, nothing says BFFs quite like the Merle Norman 2-in-1 lipstick/lipliner pencils and grannymobiles. While there have been many years and many miles put between us since the day we first met, my life is forever changed because of our friendship. I have such great memories of times we have spent together, and I cherish every one of them. Happy, happy birthday, Steph. Here's to being forever 29!

God Bless the Broken Road

2008-05-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last night was my last Stepping Up DVD lesson. In it, Beth Moore talked about how every person and every experience she had, even the negative ones, led her to Jesus. She spoke about how sometimes it is on the broken road of life that we find Him. She also told us that we are all on a pilgrimage, and that we need to be good fellow pilgrims, ready to help others out when they need it. The lesson really made me think about my own pilgrimage and my own broken road.

As I reflected on my own broken road, I realized that scattered along the way, along the side of my road, there have been many fellow pilgrims. And, I have been blessed to call each of them my friend. Some were sent to me for just a season, and some, I pray, are here for the journey. They have influenced me for the good, and some of them have influenced me negatively. But, no matter what, God has worked through each and every one of them, and I have been blessed.

I have been blessed beyond anything I can imagine with the friends I have had over the years. My friends have walked along side me, at times helping me up, and at times carrying me over the rough travail. They have wept with me and for me. They have dried my tears and have bound my wounds. They have comforted me in times of sorrow. They have held my hand through break-ups, through ended friendships, and myriad failures. They helped me bury my aunt, my dad, and my grandma. They have shown me that the end of my world has not yet happened, no matter how I feel. They have held my hand while Jesus healed my heart.

They have laughed with me. They have danced with me. They have sung songs out of the sunroof with me. They have shopped with me, laid out in the sun with me, and have eaten a ton of great food with me. They've spent countless hours talking to me on the telephone, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. They've taken pregnancy tests with me and have been in delivery room with me. Now they have even emailed and blogged with me.

My friends have done all these things and so much more with me. They have pushed me and challenged me. They have forced me to grow. They have opened their hearts and their lives to me. They have talked to me about and have shown me Jesus. They have taught me to trust and to love, and they have each made me a better person. Even when they hurt me, even when they disappointed me, and even when they've left me along the side of the road by myself. Because no matter what, my friends have forced this weary traveler to keep living and walking forward on this broken road. Walking forward in search of my God, whether I knew it at the time or not. Walking forward, inching closer and closer to my Mount Zion.

And, I am grateful. I am grateful that I am a sculpture, chiseled by God, but through the hands of each person who has touched my life. I have been shaped by each and every friend I've ever had. And, I know that God has worked through each of their hands, even when those hands chiseled what seem to be mistakes or imperfections created by heartache or negative experiences in my past. He has a plan to make even those imperfections beautiful, conforming to the image of His Son.

So, to each of you out there who I am blessed to call "friend," even the ones I have haven't met in person (yet), thank you. Thank you for making the mosaic of my life brighter and more colorful by being a part of it. And, please know that it is an honor for me to be your friend. There is nothing in this world I would rather do than walk along side of you on this pilgrimage. Nothing. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will be here for you whenever you need a friend. In the middle of the day or in the middle of the night. When the road is level, but especially when it is broken. I can't take the credit for the good things, and I can't heal or fix the bad ones, but I pray that I can help spur you on to the One who can.

God bless my broken road. It has led me to you, and you help lead me to Him. I love you all more than you'll ever know.

And We'll Be Dancin' The Night Away

2008-05-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

OK, so we won't be dancing, but we'll will be watching some dancing tonight. Remember, I told you my weekend plans involved tu-tus and tights. Yep, that's right, I'm going to the ballet! I love, love, love the ballet. I danced when I was younger, and I have even been known to take an adult dance class or two. So, I was pleasantly surprised when George said he had gotten us tickets to see this:

(Yes, that dude does have shorts on. They're just difficult to see in this picture ;) It's the spring performance of Ballet Des Moines. I have to admit that I am something of a ballet snob. I get crabby if the dancing isn't as good as I think it should be. But, I will tell you that we have been to a Ballet Des Moines performance before, and it was very good. I think they have an arrangement with some of the larger ballet companies across the country, including the Tulsa Ballet, and they get some of their dancers from those larger troupes. In any event, I am so excited. I get to dress up and go to the ballet. I can't think of many things that would make for better Friday night activities.

And, to make my Friday even better, my best friend from college is driving in tonight. She and her sweet, darling five year-old son are coming to hang out with us for the weekend! Yippie! She lives in Illinois now, and we don't get to see each other very often, but this is twice in the last few months she has been back to visit. I have no idea what we are going to do, but I am completely certain that it will involve lots of food and lots of laughing because that's what we do. It will probably also involve a trip or two to Target and the mall. We are women after all.!

So, I am terrible about taking pictures, but I will try to remember to take at least a few this weekend. I hope you all have a terrific weekend!!

It's Almost Friday

2008-05-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

It is Thursday, which means it is almost Friday! Woo hoo! Yippie! I might be slightly excited, but I bet you couldn't tell. *wink*. Primarily I am excited because I've had a pretty good week, and I have some awesome weekend plans. So, here's a little recap and a preview!

Tuesday night I continued my deep cleaning spree. I have been boxing up some things that are taking up unnecessary space, like my law school books. They are big, heavy, and completely useless. In fact, I have no idea why I still have them. Well, other than my addiction. I can't get rid of a book. Even ones I didn't like. I keep them all. Hello. I'm Heather, and I'm book addict. Nice to meet you. I should also note that I now have George boxing up some of his books, and W. is next. Because the only thing worse than one book addict is an entire family of them. The sickest part of all of this is that I have really enjoyed cleaning. I love it when things are organized and in their proper place. It just makes life better. Don't you think?

Last night I had the best dinner with my good friend Cindy. We had some yummy Mexican food, but we had even better fellowship and conversation. All I can say, is that it what just what I needed! My belly hurt when I left the restaurant, and it wasn't from the food. It was from all of the laughing we did. I had such a great time, and we're definitely going to have to do it again soon!

Today is my friend Annette's birthday. Annette and I went to law school together, and we were in the same study group all through law school and for the bar exam. And, let me tell you, we have seen each other at our worst. It is amazing how law school can bring out the worst in you, both physically and mentally. But, the most amazing part is that we still like each other, despite seeing each other at our worst. And, isn't that what friendship is really all about.

Tonight is my last Thursday night Bible study. We have our last session of Stepping Up tonight. I have really enjoyed this study. Realizing that we are all just pilgrims who are merely traveling through this life has made such a huge difference in my perspective on things. It is amazing what hope it brings to know that I am not stuck in this season of my life forever. I am only here for a brief moment in time, and, PTL, I am on my way to meet someone glorious and wonderful. And, that's where I will stay forever. So amazing!

I do have to admit, however, that I am more than a little bit sad that this Bible study is ending. I always feel sad at the end of a Bible study journey. I know, that is probably weird, right? But, I do. And, this time I feel even more sad because I have had the pleasure of doing this one with my sweet friend, Julie. I have really enjoyed spending time with her each week, and I am definitely going to miss that fellowship. To prevent me from having some type of meltdown, I think we will just have to continue getting together periodically this summer. And, I won't be going into Bible study withdrawal because I have a Bible study picked out and ready to go....And, I can't wait!!

Wow, this is getting long. Maybe I'll blog about the rest of my weekend plans tomorrow. I'll give you one hint, however. It involves tu-tus and tights!!

How about you? What are your weekend plans?

What a Marvelous Memorial Day Weekend

2008-05-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Well, girls, I had a marvelous Memorial Day weekend. After I escaped from work Friday night, I went home to spend some quality time with W. I was planning to make some yummy Mexican (OK, pseudo Mexican) food for dinner. I was planning to make taco pie, which is a huge hit around our house, especially with the ten year old. I think that's because it involves the Pillsbury dough boy, and let's just face it, he makes everything better. There was only one problem with my plan. My hamburger was bad. No, not bad. It was rancid. Despite the fact I had just purchased it, and despite the fact that it was still before the sell by date. That made me mad. Some of you already know this, but this was the second time in a month that I have purchased bad meat from the grocery store (Hy-Vee on Valley West Drive). So, we ordered pizza instead. And, it was yummy! We hung out for a while, and I went to bed early. Even earlier than W. And, for someone who loves sleep as much as me. That was priceless!

Saturday was an eventful day. George surprised me with this Saturday morning.

Oh, yes. A MONKEY. I think by now you all know how much I LOVE monkeys. And, this isn't just any monkey. It's a sleepy time Curious George monkey. The tag said, "Bedtime is more fun with your favorite monkey by your side!" Oh, yes it is!! I was so excited.

Saturday afternoon George and I took W. and a friend to see the new Indiana Jones movie. To make things even better we met my friend Melissa, her sister, two of her kids at the movie. I didn't know if I was going to like the movie or not, but I did. It was actually pretty good. I don't want to give anything away, if you haven't seen it yet, but there is one really great part where some monkeys save the day!! Oh, and I got to eat movie theater popcorn, of course. With as much extra butter as the clerk would put on it. Don't worry. I have my angiogram scheduled for later this week *wink.*

Saturday night George took me to dinner at Sam & Gabes. Sam & Gabes is a little bistro in town, and it is one of my absolute favorite restaurants. I had steak de burgo and George had beef medallions topped with Gorgonzola. Yum!

Sunday morning I visited a church with my friend Melissa. I really enjoyed the service, especially the music. It was really neat. I got to spend time with God and with Melissa. Awesome! I spent the rest of my Sunday relaxing and doing some Bible study. Nothin' is better than that.

Yesterday, I had to work. Boo. But, I cut out of work a little early and went home. I wish I could tell you I did something exciting, but I didn't. I cleaned my house and rearranged furniture. I had to make room for some new book cases. (Yes, I didn't have enough shelf space for my books. And, yes, I realize I have a book buying problem.) I LOVE to read. Do you love to read? And, if so, what are some of your favorite books? I am always looking for new books to read.

I hope you all had a really marvelous Memorial Day weekend. And, yes, this blog post has been brought to you by the letter "M". Have a great Tuesday!

A Dear George Letter

2008-05-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

George,

I love you because you are sweet and kind.

I love you because you never let me run out of Diet Coke.

I love you because you never let me go to bed mad.

I love you because you love me even when I'm mean.

I love you because you always tuck me in at night.

I love you because you let me have the TV remote.

I love you because you bought me my monkey to keep me company when I travel.

I love you because you love me enough to do all my ironing.

I love you because you take great care of me.

I love you because you don't care that I drool, grind my teeth, and talk in my sleep.

I love you because I can be my true, geeky self with you and you love me anyway.

I love you because you drop everything you are doing if I need your help.

I love you because you do half of the cooking and only complain about it when you burn yourself making pot roast.

I love you because you know how much I hate cleaning the bathroom, so you always do it.

I love you because you stay up with me when I'm sick.

I love you because you stay up with me when I am up really late getting ready for a trial.

I love you because you tell me you love me every day.

I love you because we can talk about anything, even if we disagree.

I love you because you don't complain when I make you spend your snow day watching Beth Moore on DVD.

I love you because you always tell me I'm beautiful, even when my clothes don't fit.

I love you because you always hold me when I'm sad or crying.

I love you because you sing Deee-lite to me.

I love you because you sewed the elastic on my ballet shoes last year when I decided I was going to start dancing again.

I love you because you love me even when I haven't showered.

I love you because we can watch Ninja Warrior together and you don't make fun of me because I know all the contestants.

I love you because you didn't make me re-live fifth grade alone, especially geography.

I love you because you step in when I've reached my threshold for the day.

I love you because you don't say anything when I, the tone deaf one, sing Whitney Houston at the top of my lungs.

I love you because you are funny and always make me laugh.

I love you because you always bring me books home from work.

I love you because you love me in spite of my obsession with old-school rap.

I love you because you always believe in me.

I love you because you make me a better person.

And for all of these reasons, and a million more, I love you because you are you.

Here's to another year together. I love you so much. And, in the words of Paula Abdul, I'm forever your girl.

Love always,

Heather

Make a Difference Day

2008-05-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

Today our church is co-sponsoring "Making a Difference Day," along with one of our local Christian radio stations and a local TV station. We are supposed to show God's love in a practical way today by showing kindness to a stranger. Specifically, if we go to a drive-thru to get coffee or a meal, we are encouraged to pay for the order of the person behind us in line. We can then leave a flyer, explaining why we paid for the order, with the clerk and ask that he or she pass it on to the customer. I thought that was a great, yet simple, way to show God's love to people we don't know. And, as an added bonus, it is a great reason to have McDonald's french fries, or a Sonic Coke, or, well, you get the idea...

I thought I'd pass this along, and give you my permission to stop at a drive-thru on your way home sometime this week! *wink*

So, tell me. What is your favorite fast food item?

It's Starting to Feel A Lot Like Summer

2008-05-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

As we were getting ready this morning, W. informed me that he only has nine days of school left after today. Nine!?! On one hand that seems impossible because I know that it was just yesterday I helped him unpack all of his school supplies. But, on the other hand, it seems like it's taken five years to get to the end of fifth grade. We have spent countless hours doing math and geography homework, and let's not forget about all the special projects we've had to complete at the last minute. I guess there is nothing like a deadline to get you motivated, even when you're ten. In any event, it was clear that he is exciting about the school year ending and summer beginning. He wants to hang out with his friends, go to the amusement park and the swimming pool, and plan his big birthday bash. And, that's exactly what he'll get to do. Because that should be what you do when you're almost eleven (or when you are celebrating your _ anniversary of your 29th birthday).

As I started thinking about W.'s summer wish list, I was reminded how much he really is a small, male version of his mother. At my core, I am completely social. Now, don't get me wrong, I like my alone time like any other over committed person, but I LOVE spending time with the people I care about. And, let's face it. I love a good party. In fact, looking back on my life, I used to always find an excuse to have a party. Birthday parties, sleepovers, holiday parties, and just because parties. Any reason to be surrounded by my friends.

Especially my girlfriends. In fact, if I had to pick one favorite summer out of all of them, I think I would pick the summer my best friends and I got memberships to one of our local gyms. No, we didn't get the memberships so we could exercise, although we did attend a senior citizen aerobics class once (What? We could keep up in that one.) We did get really tan, however. And, since we couldn't be outside all the time, we also ate a lot of frozen yogurt in the club house while we watched MTV (when it still had music videos). Ah, memories.

Now, of course, most of us don't get the luxury of lounging by the pool all summer long. But, I will tell you this. If I could do anything I wanted to do this summer, I would want to lay by the pool and eat frozen yogurt with all of you. We could even take a few aerobics classes together. You know, to compensate for all the yummy frozen yogurt we would eat. And, instead of watching MTV, we could have some really great conversations!

What about you? What are your favorite summer memories, and what would you do if you could do anything this summer?

Lessons Learned in Illinois

2008-05-20T17:01:00.000-07:00

So something happened last week while we were driving back from Florida. Something not that surprising really--we got a little lost. You see, we weren't able to travel the same route going home because of the tornadoes that were everywhere. So, instead of driving through Missouri, we took a detour through Illinois. And, while one of us, who we'll call George (What? Who do you think I am, Sgt. Joe Friday? No one here cares about the protection of the innocent ;), was driving, W. and I were sleeping. Before I went to sleep we were traveling westbound on Interstate 74, headed for Peoria. When I woke up, however, we were traveling eastbound (well, northeast) on Interstate 55, headed for Chicago. So, we were pretty much headed in the wrong direction. After I realized we were going the wrong way, I grabbed the atlas, and we were able to navigate ourselves so we were at least headed in the right direction.

As I was looking at the atlas, it occurred to me that we had gotten off the correct road somewhere very close to a town called Normal, Illinois. (Yes, I'm serious. Look it up for yourself; it is near Bloomington. And, yes, if you know him, it shouldn't surprise you that George took a wrong turn at Normal ;) Oh, I kid. Really. I do.) And as a side note, I should tell you that I wasn't necessarily very happy to discover that we were traveling in the wrong direction, and I may not have handled the situation with as much grace as I should have. Just think attack of the flesh woman. So, for all of you who have read Having a Mary Spirit, you will agree with me that it was appropriate that we were in Towanda, Illinois, when I had my meltdown. Again, I'm serious. Towanda, Illinois really does exist. Who knew?

Anyway, I've been thinking about our wrong turn in Normal, Illinois quite a bit over the last few days. And, it occurred to me how easy it is to take a wrong turn at Normal in our lives. OK, so I can't speak for you, but I can speak for myself. I can think of more than one instance where I have taken a wrong turn at Normal. And, by that I mean that I can think of more than one time where I have gotten off the right road because it was more "normal" to go the wrong direction in life. For example, many of you know how miserable I am in my current job. But, sadly, it's my own fault I'm miserable. I didn't take the job because I was led to take the job. I took the job because I would make more money. And, I think you'll agree with me that by the world's standards, that was the "normal" decision to make.

Now, I will say that I didn't truly become a Christian until after I took my current job. And, I think that God used my desperation to draw me close to Him. But, still, I increasingly feel that I am on the wrong road, traveling in the wrong direction. I feel pretty confident that I'm not where God wants me to be. So, here are my questions, ladies. How do you know if you are where God wants you to be? And, if you aren't, how do you figure out where you are supposed to be? I realize that there is no "answer" to these questions, but I would appreciate your insights!

My Monday!

2008-05-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

Yep, this just about sums up my day thus far. I have actually been working on a post today, one that even solicits your advice, but unfortunately, I am SWAMPED at work. Grrrrrr. Did I mention that I don't like Mondays??? But, I do love monkeys!!! Hopefully, I'll get my other post up later. I hope you are having a wonderful Monday!!

Hallelujah It's Finally Friday!! More Randomness From Me

2008-05-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm excited that it is Friday. Can you tell? There is so much I want to do this weekend, but I'm going to try really, really hard not to over do it. I think that sometimes (OK, most of the time), I try to do too much on the weekends (OK, and during the week). So, it's no wonder that I am perpetually stressed out, especially on Sunday nights. And, after our whirlwind trip to Florida this past week, I could really use some R&R. But, in my typical style, I see several problems with this. First, my house is a disaster. I'm usually one of those anal people who clean before they leave town because I hate to come home to a dirty house. Unfortunately, we left in such a hurry, I wasn't able to do that this time. So, needless to say, the house needs to be cleaned. Second, and closely related to item number one, we are out of food. So, unless I want to be beaten to death and eaten by the hungry savages that also live in my house, I better go to the grocery store. Third, I need to come into the office this weekend and get caught up on a few things that have been lingering on my desk for way too long. Sounds exciting, huh? Come on, I know your jealous. OK, maybe not! *wink*.

Even though I need to make time for those things, or at least time to delegate some of those things to someone else, I do have some fun things planned. I am getting together with a couple of my favorite girlfriends tomorrow night. We're not quite sure what we are going to do, but we might do to dinner and a movie. Yeah!! And, tonight W. is spending the night with his best friend, and George will be working, so I get some alone time!!! I think I will spend it reading and getting caught up on my Bible study homework I'm behind on. I also stole Caroline's idea for a prayer notebook. I bought a three-ring binder, some dividers, some paper, and some new colored pens. So, maybe I will start organizing that tonight as well!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Random Thoughts for Thursday--What's In a Name?

2008-05-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday afternoon, during the birthday festivities, my mom told me that she almost named me Selena. I'm not certain why, but I was perplexed by this. Maybe it is because I can't comprehend being anything but a Heather, or maybe it's because I'm weird. But, in any event, I've been thinking about this again this morning. I know that God knows our names, and has known our names, since before the foundation of the earth. So, despite my mother's best intentions of naming me Selena, God intended me to be Heather. But, why? What's behind that name? And, since my brain is still only functioning at half capacity, making it difficult for me to concentrate on the intricacies of the admissibility of ERISA payments, I thought I would check it out, and here's what I found.

HEATHER
Gender: Feminine
Means simply "heather" from the English word for the variety of small shrubs with pink or white flowers which commonly grow in rocky areas. It is derived from Middle English hather.

Hmm, that's interesting. I think God may have been on to something here. I definitely was planted and grew up in some rocky soil. But, maybe that's what He intended for me; maybe He was/is glorified by the fact that I grew up in that rocky soil. I know this, I would not be where I am today if it had not been for God's mercy and His grace. And, with everything that is going on right now in my life, I am hopeful that no matter how rocky my life gets, I'm a Heather, and that means that I can grow there. Isn't that cool?

But, I didn't want to have all the fun. So, I thought that I would research the meaning of some of my dearest bloggy friends' names as well. So, in alphabetical order, here goes. And, if didn't do your name, please don't get mad. I promise it doesn't mean I don't love you! Leave me a comment, and I'll do it tomorrow.

CAROLINE
Gender: Feminine
French feminine form of CAROLUS

From the Germanic name Karl, which was derived from a Germanic word which meant "man". However, an alternative theory states that the name is derived from the common Germanic element heri meaning "army, warrior".

Hmm, can anyone say prayer warrior??? I love that you are such a prayer warrior, Caroline, and I have no doubt that is what God intended!! I have been so blessed to get to know you over these last few months. You have become very dear to me! I can't wait to get to know you better in the months and years to come.

CINDY

Gender: Feminine

Latin origin.

Means "light."

Once again, how apropos. Cindy, everyone around you knows what a bright light you are to be around. You are so funny, sweet, and perky! You are such a blessing to your friends. I am so glad we got to be in book club together. I hope we can get together some over the summer so I don't go into Cindy withdrawal. I love you!

JULIA and JULIE
Gender: Feminine
Latinate feminine form of JULIUS.

Means youthful, soft-haired, or vivacious.

Oh, girlfriends! I have three of you that share this name!!

To my new friend Julia in GA, I'm just getting to know you, but from your blog I can already tell that you are beautiful inside and out! I know we come from at least a slightly similar background, and I can't wait to learn more about you!

To my hometown homegirl, Julie (who reads my blog but doesn't always comment ;), I love you so much! You are definitely youthful, and you are perhaps the most vivacious person I know! You always brighten my mood and my day. You are such a blessing!

And, last, but certainly not least, to my new friend Julie in OK, I know I don't know you that well, yet ;), but with a beautiful, bright smile like the one you have, I have no doubt that you are vivacious and full of life! I will also tell you that you don't look a day over 21. So, you obviously have the youthful thing goin' on, too. You are so sweet and I can't wait to get to know you better!!

KELLY

Gender: Feminine

Means "bright-headed."

Kelly, you are definitely "bright-headed," and I'm not just talking about your new, brighter, lighter hair-do!! You are so sweet and such an encouragement to so many women who read your blog. You are like sunlight, my friend! It radiates from your bright smile and your warm heart! I am so blessed that I have gotten a chance to get to know you a little, and I can't wait to get to know you more!!!

MELISSA

Gender: Feminine

Means "honey-bee"

Oh, my dearest, most wonderful friend, Melissa! I don't have to tell you how much I love you!! You are so sweet and are like honey to me, baby! I don't know what I'd do without you. When I was doing a little research on honey-bees, I found something interesting. Honey bees were the royal emblems of the Napoleonic Empire. They signified immortality and resurrection. Now, obviously the Napoleonic Empire was not immortal, but because of the immortality and resurrection of Jesus, you are eternal! I know how much you love Jesus, and that makes me love Him even more. You are a blessing, girlfriend!

SARAH

Gender: Feminine

Means "lady" or "princess" in Hebrew.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, my friend from AR. It may be awhile before you see this since you are so busy sleeping these days ;) The very first person we know of with the name Sarah was Abraham's wife. We also know that God gave Sarah her name shortly before she gave birth to Isaac. I just keep thinking that you are not so unlike that Sarah, well except for age thing! Anyway, you are a princess to God, and you are a blessing to me!

And, of course, my hometown homegirl, Sarah! I'm so glad we've gotten a chance to get to know each other at Valley and through our blogs! You are so sweet and such a godly lady. I hope we get to know each other even better in the future!

SHANA

Gender: Feminine

Modern French form of Jehanne, an Old French feminine form of Johannes (see JOHN).

Means "YAHWEH is gracious".

Yahweh is gracious, Shana, and so are you! You are so gracious to always open your home to your friends and to feed us all those yummy pastries you spend days making! I love you!! You are such a wonderful friend! Thank you for making me feel so welcome at Valley. I am going to miss you when you guys leave, but promise me we will keep in touch!

So, there you have it girls! Isn't that interesting. I love you all so much! I hope you each have a wonderful Thursday!!!

My Gator Hunters

2008-05-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

Like I said yesterday, despite the circumstances of our trip, some good things happened, too. For instance, on Friday while I was at the hospital with my mom, my boys went out to hunt alligators. Here are a few of my favorite pictures from their adventure.

"Shh, it's bear"

I think the gator pond was in George's stomach after he ate his weight in gator tail at the restaurant.

And, yes, my friends, this is a real photo, but my boys didn't take it. They gave the camera to the alligator wrestler, and he took it.

I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I would have gotten within 100 feet of that thing. I'll leave that kind of stuff to my gator hunters!

We're Home

2008-05-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

We're home. We pulled into the driveway about an hour ago, and I am EXHAUSTED!!! I have so many things running through my mind, so this will probably be somewhat incoherent. But, I wanted to give everyone an update...

--First, THANK YOU to everyone who prayed for our travel. I know they were successful because we not only traveled 3,500 miles safely, but we also didn't kill each other in the car. And, that is nothing short of a miracle in itself!!! I mean it is NO fun traveling that many miles in a car under any circumstance. It's cramped, uncomfortable, and the trip seems never ending. But, on top of the general problems, add two boys and all of their stinky smells, and you just might wish you traveled with a bottle of Febreze. Or, a clothespin for your nose. Or both. We had some interesting and slightly amusing things happen both in route to Naples and in route to home, but I'll post about those later. For now, suffice it to say that I now suffer from a fear of enclosed spaces, especially when I have to share those spaces with boys who have eaten beans and cheese.

--Also, THANK YOU to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Despite the circumstances, I had a great birthday. After all, I got to spend it with my mother and and my brother. My mother, true to her style, coordinated my birthday party from her hospital bed. We had food catered in from Bucca Di Beppo. It was very good, and I ate way too much. My mom even made sure that I had a birthday cake. It really was very nice. I still have a lot of celebrating to do now that I'm home. My very good friend Melissa has a birthday tomorrow, and we need to plan a big par-tay to celebrate!!

--And, I want you all to know that each of you were in my thoughts and prayers while I was gone. I am so blessed to know each of you. I love you all!!

--But, I know that you probably want an update on my mom. My mind is still really spinning about all of this, and I need to pray about many things, but I'll try to give you the cliff notes version for now. My mom was in terrible shape the first day we got to the hospital. She was drifting in and out of consciousness and was very incoherent. I'm not sure what all I've blogged about before as way of background about my mom. If you already know this, please bear with me. My mom was an addict for most of her life. She was also an alcoholic. She became a Christian about eight years ago, and PTL she has been clean ever since. Unfortunately, as we know, sometimes we continue to have consequences from things we've done in our past, and that is what has happened to my mom. Her liver is failing. Initially, we thought she could take some special treatment that might cure her liver problems, and we're still hopeful that the treatment will work, but we know now that her liver is in much worse shape than we thought. Her liver isn't processing things correctly, particularly ammonia. So, her ammonia levels were through the roof, and those elevated ammonia levels caused her to go into hepatic encephalopathy (which is way more serious than her doctor told us at first). The hepatic encephalopathy was causing the following symptoms when we first arrived at the hospital: headache, inflammation of the spinal cord, edema of the fluid around her brain, sleepiness, lethargy, confusion, depression, nausea, vomiting, jaundice, and numbness in her fingers. Pretty scary stuff. On top of all that, she was dehydrated and her red blood count and potassium was low. The low potassium levels prevented the doctors from giving my mom the medicine to help decrease her ammonia levels. Hepatic encephalopathy can cause coma, and my mom's blood pressure was 55/34, which is really close to being in a coma.

She had an emergency colonoscopy Sunday morning because the CT Scan of her abdomen the doctors did Saturday showed inflammation in her colon. But, the colonoscopy on Sunday showed NO problems at all!!! PTL!!! The doctors did get my mom's ammonia levels down, and they released her from the hospital on Sunday. My mom had a pretty good day Sunday. But, my brother just called, and it looks like she may be going back to the hospital tomorrow.

It's probably evident from my incoherent description of my mom's medical conditions, but I am having difficulty processing all of this. I realize that my mother's health is very precarious, and I also know that my mom would like to have me around more. My brother lives near her, but he is also in bad health and is not really able to take care of her. Suffice it to say that I need a lot of guidance on what I should be doing right now. I am praying about it, and if you have a few more prayers in you for me, I would appreciate it!!

Believe it or not, there were some good things that happened on our trip, and I will blog about those later. Right now, I am EXHAUSTED, and I am going to bed...right after I read all of your blogs!! Have a great night.

Hola from Naples

2008-05-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

Whew, ladies. As some of you know, we made an emergency trip to Naples, Florida earlier this week. My mother is in the hospital, and we felt we needed to be there with her. So we left home at 8:00 Tuesday night and drove 1600 miles. We wanted to drive straight through, but we just couldn't do it. I was just too tired. We drove for 24 straight hours (well, as straight through as you can when you are traveling with two boys with bottomless pits for stomachs. I guess they thought they needed to eat or something.) We stopped in Valdosta, Georgia for the night. We tried to make it at least to Ocala, Florida, but we hit Atlanta in rush hour, and it took us FOREVER to get through there.

So, anyway, we eventually made it, and now we are here. And, can I just say, THANK YOU for your prayers. It meant a lot to me to know that you were praying for me and my mom. My mom wasn't doing well at all when we first got here. She was drifting in and out of consciousness and was incoherent. Today is much better. My mom is awake and in pretty good spirits. I wish I could give you all a comprehensive medical update, but we're still waiting for the results of few tests. So, I'll be back, probably tomorrow, and hopefully I will have more information then.

Thanks again for your prayers. Please pray that my mom is even better tomorrow. She wants to throw me a birthday party in the hospital tomorrow. Let's hope she forgets about that!

I love you all. Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Happy May First!

2008-05-01T15:10:00.000-07:00

Alright, so it's May Day today. Now, I don't know about you, but I am not all that familiar with what May Day is all about. In fact, all I really know about it is that kids make May Day baskets, fill them with candy, put them on their friends' doorsteps, ring the doorbell and then run away. Is anyone else familiar with this phenomenon? I have been told that this may be a strange Iowa tradition. Anyway, since I don't know any more about it than that, I thought I would do a little research. And, here is what I found out.

May Day is an ancient pagan holiday that was celebrated by dancing around the maypole and crowning the May Queen. I guess, May 1st was also the first day of summer in these cultures, and May Day was a celebration of summer as well. Unfortunately, the article did not explain how May baskets fit into this equation, or why people wanted to run in circles around a pole. I guess I'll have to do some additional research...

Interestingly, I found out, however, that May first is not just May Day. It is also International Workers Day (which celebrates the 8 hour work day) in Europe. In the United States it is Loyalty Day (because International Workers Day was seen as being too subversive) and Law Day (can anyone tell me why don't I get this day off?)

And, although it doesn't always fall on May 1st, today is also the National Day of Prayer. So, please know that I am praying for each of you today. You are all very special to me, and I love you all. Just don't expect any May Day baskets on your doorstep. I don't celebrate any holiday that requires me to run anywhere. Well, unless it is to a really good sale *wink*!

Who Put My Life on Fast Forward?

2008-04-30T20:24:00.000-07:00

Today is somewhat of a continuation from yesterday's post. Remember how yesterday I was writing about how I had no idea where time goes? Well, today I need to discuss the time sucking vortex that I'm fairly confident I have fallen into. Some of you might know that I am an obsessive list maker. I LOVE to make lists. In fact, I make lists about the lists I need to make. Think I'm kidding. I'm not. Just ask George. He'll tell ya. So, anyway, it probably goes without saying, but I make many to-do lists. I have a to-do list for work, a to-do list for George, one for W., and three or four for me. You know, one for each personality--Mom Heather, Studious Heather, Super Chic Heather. (Hey, I never said all my personalities were sane.)

So, anyway, now that it is finally starting to feel like spring up here in the tundra (well, OK, it sometimes feels like spring), I decided to start my spring cleaning. And, all I can say is scary, very scary. I started my spring cleaning by cleaning my office at work. After all, that's just one room. How difficult could that be, right? Let's just say that I'm very thankful no one dropped a lit match in there because with all the paper, I probably wouldn't be sitting here right now. There was lots of paper, lots and lots of paper. And, among the debris, I ran across To-Do List that I had made for myself several months ago. The scary thing was that there were several things on that list that I still, many months later, haven't completed. For example, I still haven't gotten the dent in my car fixed, and I still haven't rescheduled the dental appointment I had to cancel. These are all things that I had planned to do. I figured I'd get around to them, and to be quite honest, I hadn't realized that so much time had passed since I had placed these tasks on my list. How does this happen? Does this happen to anyone else? Is this why I feel like I am perpetually stuck on fast forward?

And, it's not just tasks, it's other things, too. Like keeping in contact with my friends. Sometimes I'm on top of it, and I'm great about keeping in contact. Other times, not so much. For example, I had dinner last night with my friend Sara. Sara and I have been friends for almost a decade, which is not an insignificant amount of time, and we've been through a lot together. Today is her birthday (oh yes, she will always be X days older than me--see the use of roman numerals? I'm practicing!), so we went out for some Mexican food last night. It dawned on me as I was driving to the restaurant that I hadn't seen Sara since Christmas. Christmas!!!! What!!! I thought to myself, "There must be some mistake. Surely, I have seen her since Christmas." But, no. I hadn't. How does that happen? I mean, how does life just get in the way? Is it just me, or does anyone else out there have this problem, too?

Maybe it's that I am not intentional enough? Maybe I just kind of let life happen? And, that's very out of character for me. Any of you who know me well, know that I am not a passive person. So why am I passive about this? Or maybe it's because I'm over committed? Maybe I am so "tightly" scheduled, that I cannot possibly fit everything in?

In reality I think both are true. I think that I need to be more intentional about doing things that need to be done. I also think that I am over committed, and I'm primarily over committed with stuff that, when it comes right down to it, doesn't matter. Like the 900 hours of T.V. I DVR every week. I mean, seriously, do I really need to watch every episode of Law and Order 100,000,000 times? I think I know some of the episodes by heart, and that, my friends, is just sad.

So, I think that my next step in my spring cleaning will be to take a long, hard look at my life and my schedule. I think I need to clean out a few things. Then, I can have more time for the important people and things in my life. I have many friends that I haven't spoken to or seen in quite some time that I need to touch base with. I also have some precious friends that I do see often, but that I would love to spend more time with, so I could be there for them even more than I am now. And, I think that would be the best birthday present I could wish for. Well, right behind world peace and universal map distribution.

Where Does The Time Go? A/K/A I'm Getting Old

2008-04-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me this morning that it is April 29th. April 29th!?!? How did that happen. I mean, is it just me, or does it seem like it was April 1st yesterday? I really don't know where the time goes. The days all run together into weeks, and I am increasingly having trouble remembering when events occurred. I say things like "Just the other day..." when "just the other day" was probably at least a month ago. Does anyone else have this problem? Why does that happen? And, does that mean I'm getting old? On second thought, don't answer that. I do have a birthday coming up in less than two weeks.

And, about that birthday. The good news is that it is not a divisible-by-five birthday. Those birthdays are the worst and are accompanied by much crying and rending of garments. So, thankfully, I (and George) still have 376 days before I have to deal with that. (I would have done the calculation in minutes or seconds so it seemed like a much longer time, but sadly, I can't do that kind of math in my head.) And anyway, I think I'm going to officially adopt my friend Renee's philosophy. She just stopped counting. Instead, we celebrate the __ (fill in the number) anniversary of her 29th birthday. I like that idea. And, when it becomes my tenth anniversary of my 29th birthday, I'll start using roman numerals, because, come on, who knows their roman numerals anymore? And, on the off chance that you do, keep it to yourself. Because there will be no, and I mean NO, mention of my age on this blog. I'm not kidding. Don't test me, either. I'm a master at Chinese torture techniques. Seriously. I mean, I watched every episode of Alias. Just call me Sydney Bristow, or that creepy Chinese doctor guy, but I'd prefer to be called Sydney. Anyway...

I don't know about you, but I love celebrating birthdays, sometimes even my own. So, I guess it's time for me to start thinking whether or not I want to have a par-tay. I'll have to give that some thought, but, never fear, I'll get back to you. After all, that'll give me something to blog about for at least a couple of days. Maybe I'll even post my wish list for my birthday...Hmm, you never know...

Our God is An Awesome God!!!

2008-04-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

As we all know (if you're still reading my blog), I have been writing a lot about some of the things that are happening in my life right now, some struggles. And, I know that I am not the only one. Some of my dear friends are going through some very painful struggles of their own right now, and those are just the ones I know about. I would surmise that many more of my friends and acquaintances are struggling with things; things that I am not privy to. And, that's OK. I understand that sharing our struggles with others, or posting it on the internet, is not for everyone. The point is, though, that people are hurting, and it's difficult to watch people you care about and love hurt. And, maybe it's just me, but I think that when you see such suffering, it is easy to start to question God. Why is He allowing this? What possible good can come from it? Why is He not answering my prayers?

And, not that God owes me any explanation for why He does what He does or any confirmation of His holiness and goodness, God is faithful to answer our questions. He is faithful to help us work out whatever it is that we need to work out with Him. And, that is what God has done for me over the last few days.

On Saturday, I took my grandmother to the women's tea at my church. During the tea, four women from the African women's choir sang to us. You see, our church opens up its facilities each week to a pastor from Africa. Pastor Bomett leads approximately 100 African emigrants in worship each week. The women who sang were some of those African emigrants. What was amazing about these women was not the beautiful songs they sang, although they were definitely beautiful, but instead, it was their love for Jesus. Let me just tell you, these women glowed; their love for Jesus radiated from them. When they sang, they were praising Jesus with everything inside of them.

And, what was most amazing was these women's love of Jesus, despite what they had been through in their lives. These women were from Rwanda, Burundi, and the Congo. They had been captured, beaten and abused during the genocidal conflicts that have ravaged that region of the world. Some of them had been forced to watch their spouses and children be murdered by enemy soldiers. They had traveled from refugee camp to refugee camp, not knowing if they would make it to the next camp. And, now, here they were in West Des Moines, Iowa. These women speak very little English, which makes it difficult for them to find work so that they can support their families. But, despite all of that, these women love Jesus. And, we were told that they know Jesus protected and saved them from harm when they were in Africa.

How amazing. I cried when I heard them sing on Saturday, I cried again when I heard them sing on Sunday, and I am on the verge of tears again, just writing about these wonderful women. What amazing examples of faith. And, what a wonderful reminder that God does protect us, in His own way, and according to His plan. And, not to diminish what I or anyone else I know is going through, but what a reality check and a reminder of how blessed I am. Praise God!

God not only reminded me of His protection of His people, but He also reminded me twice that He does answer my prayers. First, I have been praying for my friend's house to sell. I knew they were on a deadline to get their house sold, and PTL, it sold last week! I am so happy because I know how much they wanted to move (even if it means that they now have to pack!!).

And, finally, just this morning, God reminded me that He hears my prayers. Over the last few months I have been praying for several women I have "met" out here in blog world, and some of the women I have been praying for have been struggling with fertility issues. Even though I have never met these women in person, I have felt very led to pray for them. In fact, I feel so led to pray for them, I almost feel like some kind of stalker. I think about them often, and if I forget to pray for them, I dream about them. Seriously. (I feel very compelled to tell you all that these were not bad dreams. Just weird. Like we were skiing and stuff.) Anyway, suffice it to say that these women have become very dear to me over the last few months. (And, they all just seem so sweet and funny, and, well, just people you would want to be friends with.) So, as I was checking blogs this morning, I realized that one of the women I have been praying for had posted yesterday that she is pregnant!!!!!! Needless to say, I am extremely excited for her. It has been an honor and privilege to pray for her. But, most of all, I am so humbled. I am humbled and amazed that God answers prayers!!!

And, I don't know about you, but that gives me the hope to keep on keepin' on. It gives me the hope to keep praying for all my friends, family, and myself. And, hope is priceless. I love each of you who reads my blog. I hope you have a wonderful Monday!

I'm Baaack

2008-04-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

So, I had been really good about blogging. Then I had my downer post, and to be honest, I've kind of been scared to write anything else. But, after our book club discussion about fear last night, I felt I needed to push through my own fear. And, here I am. Did you miss me? (Please only answer that if you are going to answer in the affirmative. I mean, didn't your mom teach you, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?) So, I figured I would give you a recap of where I've been for the last several days.

Friday. Friday night Melissa, Sarah and I headed downtown to see Anne Graham Lotz. I really liked her. She spoke about salvation, and it was amazing to see how many people accepted Christ that night. And, the music was really good. I hadn't heard of Fernando Ortega, so I didn't know what to expect. But, I thought he had a really nice voice. It was good. And, after the conference concluded for the night, I got to spend some quality time with my girlfriends, and I loved that!

Saturday. I got up way earlier than normal (we sleep in so late at our house on Saturdays) because I had to meet my friend Kristin downtown for day two of the Anne Graham Lotz conference. And, can I just say, Saturday was even better than Friday night! Once again, there was a lot of music, and it was very good. They primarily sang traditional hymns, which was fun for me because I don't know very many of them. In the morning, Anne spoke about the resurrection. Specifically, she looked at the resurrection through the eyes of Mary Magdalene and Peter. I had never heard the resurrection story told that way before. What she said about Peter was really interesting to me. She said that Peter was so overcome by his guilt that he had denied Christ that he had returned to his old way of life. But, when Christ appeared to him and the other disciples, he ran to Christ and focused completely on Him. Anne challenged everyone who attended the conference to focus completely on the cross, surrendering everything to Jesus.

Saturday night, George and I went to see the movie Exposed. If you haven't seen it, you should. I think it is still playing, and it was very interesting. Exposed is a documentary by Ben Stein (Bueller, Bueller, Bueller). The movie basically follows Ben Stein across the country as he talks to scientists on both sides of the intelligent design vs. evolution debate.

Sunday, was a very relaxing day. I spent most of the day doing Bible study and relaxing.

Monday it was back to work. I worked all day, cooked dinner, and we had our very own nightly version of "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" as we helped W. with his homework.

Tuesday was more of the same. George and I did find time to go on a 45 minute walk. I am so happy that weather is finally nice enough to go on a walk outdoors. I have to admit, though, that this winter hibernation has taken its toll on me. I was way more worn out by our walk than I should have been. Needless to say, I need to exercise more. I'm working on it, so we'll see how it goes.

Yesterday was more of the same. Except, on Wednesday nights I get to go to book club. I LOVE book club. I am so blessed by each of the women who attend book club. We are just starting Praying God's Word by Beth Moore. I think it will be an awesome book to read, discuss, and pray with these women.

And, that brings us to today. Tonight W. has an orchestra concert, and then I have Bible Study. W. doesn't have school tomorrow so I told him we could go out to dinner after my Bible Study was over. He gets to pick the restaurant, and I think there is some Outback Steakhouse in our future. The jury is still out on whether Heather can resist the cheese fries, but I'm guessing that will be nearly impossible. I love those cheese fries!

Anyway, that's been my week. Nothing too exciting, but pretty busy. I'm still waiting to hear back from mom. She still doesn't have her test results, but she goes to the doctor tomorrow.

How about you? How is your week?

Steppin' Up and Airin' It Out

2008-04-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I really can't thank you enough for praying for me! I felt so much better yesterday and today. I know it was because of your prayers. And, thanks so much for letting me vent. I so hope I didn't scare anyone off by airing out my dirty laundry on the internet. It means a lot to me that you come by and read my blog, and I hope you'll keep reading. My intention was not to bring anyone else down in the dumps with me. So, I truly hope I didn't do that. Thank you again for your prayers. They mean the world to me.

We really don't know any more than we did about my mom's condition. She had a CT scan done of her brain, and that, PTL, came back clear. Her primary care doctor thinks that she is most likely suffering from a condition called hepatic encephalopathy. (Try saying that three times fast...) We really won't know for sure if this is what is causing her symptoms, or what her treatment options are, until she sees her hepatologist next week. As I understand it (if her doctor is correct), toxins in her liver have migrated to her brain and are causing things to malfunction up there. The good news, however, is that this condition is generally treatable. So, we're hopeful, and I'll update everyone when I know more.

Like I said earlier, though, I feel so much more at peace with everything. Not only the situation with my mom, but with all the stuff I'm going through in general. Your prayers must have caused a breakthrough for me because I feel like God is speaking to me again. And, I feel He is clarifying, at least a little bit, what is going on. For example, last night our church started Beth Moore's newest Bible study, Stepping Up. I really felt that God wanted me to go to this study, and am I ever glad I went. Beth said something that really spoke to me. She quoted Psalm 84:5-7:

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,

till each appears before God in Zion.

And, she used those verses to say that we are all on a pilgrimage; a pilgrimage to heaven. Wherever we are today is not where we we will stay forever., and whatever we're going through right now won't endure forever. We're just passing through. That really gave me hope. Hope that something better is around the corner. Hope that my situation will change, and hope that I won't be here forever. The point of the study is to step up to the next level with God, and that's definitely what I what. I really, really do. Despite everything that's going on, I do want to get closer to Him. I know that He is working everything that has happened, and everything that is happening, in my life for good. And, even though I may not be able to see what He's doing or the purpose behind it, I know He has one, and I don't want to miss it.

Needless to say, but I was feeling much better after I got home from Bible study last night. But, God wasn't done with me yet. My good friend Melissa recommended Max Lucado's In the Grip of Grace to me awhile back. I finally found a copy and I've been reading it. (If you haven't read it, you should. It's a wonderful book!) And, last night part of what I read dealt with the sufficiency of God's grace. In the book, Max Lucado writes about a time when he was praying and thanking God for protecting one of his children. And, he writes that the Lord spoke to him, asking him some questions about his prayer. Primarily, God asked him (and this is a paraphrase from memory), "Would I be any less God if I had let your child die?" And, "Would I be any less loving or deserving of your praise?" The point was that God has given us grace, and His grace is sufficient for us, no matter what is happening in our lives. As I was reading that chapter, I felt God was speaking to me, too.

And, that's what I want. I want to live like I know and believe that God's grace is sufficient for me. No matter what is going on in my life. So, I think it is fitting that Anne Graham Lotz is in town this weekend. She is leading her event Just Give Me Jesus. That's what I want. I want Jesus. More than anything. So, Melissa and I have a hot date tonight to go see Anne Graham Lotz and to get us some Jesus. And, I can't wait!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

My Spirit is Groaning

2008-04-16T07:17:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that Stevie Wonder song "Superstition?" It has that line, "Thirteen month old baby broke the looking glass; Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past." Well, I'm not superstitious, but sometimes I do wonder what proverbial looking glass I shattered somewhere in my past. And, before I write anything else, I want to apologize to you in advance. I am feeling down in the dumps today, and I admit, I am on the pity pot, so to speak. Please know that I fully recognize the fact that the world doesn't revolve around me or my problems. I also know that there are many, many people out there who have it much worse off than I do, but I need to vent. And, if you are reading this, I would appreciate your prayers.

The last five years have been really rough for me. Every time I turn around, it seems like something is going awry. Things started falling apart about five years ago. At this time five years ago, I was getting ready to graduate from law school. I should have been excited about it, but I wasn't. I had a job that I liked OK, but I lacked any type of direction in my life. I mean, I had never really thought about what I wanted to do, or what I was supposed to be doing. I just kind of pushed forward, grasping on to the first opportunity that presented itself, primarily because I could, but also because it seemed like the easiest option at that time.

Right around that same time, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. You see, I hadn't been close to my dad for some time. My familial dysfunction is far too complicated to detail out here in blog world, but I guess some background is necessary for context. At this point, I guess it will suffice to say that my parents were addicts. They weren't able to take care of themselves, let alone their two children. They dumped my brother and I off with our grandparents at a fairly early age. The problem, however, was that they continued to pop back up from time to time, sometimes taking both of us back, sometimes just one of us, only to dump us off again, and always perpetuating the cycle of dysfunction. Despite all the pain they had caused, including moving away without telling their then teenage children, I tried to continue to love them the best I could. They were, after all, my parents. When my dad got my little brother hooked on drugs, I couldn't deal with it anymore, and I cut off contact with him. But, when my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer, I tried to mend our relationship.

My dad had surgery. The doctors thought they got all of the cancer, and things went back to "normal" for awhile. The very next year, however, we lost nearly everything we owned in a fire. We were living in an apartment building at that time, and one night we came home from work only to find flames shooting out of our apartment windows. But we dealt with it, regrouped, and went on with our lives. And, again, for awhile, things went back to "normal."

In the midst of normalcy, however, everything was shaken up again. My brother, who had gotten himself into a serious mess with drugs, decided to steal from his family members to support his drug habit. We changed the locks, and once again, things went back to "normal."

Seven months later, however, my maternal grandmother had a stroke. To have any relative have a stroke would have been traumatic for me, but my grandma, that was devastating. You see, my grandmother was the one who took care of me and my brother when our parents didn't. She was the person who was the closest to me in the entire world. Now, we were very blessed. She didn't die. In fact, she made a remarkable physical recovery. But, mentally. Well, that's a different story. It's been three and a half years, and she still isn't the same. Her personality has changed, and not for the better, and she needs a lot of attention. And, since we live together, most of that responsibility falls to me. (And, in addition to having my grandmother, we also have my grandfather. Thank God, he is relatively healthy. But, he has his own health problems.)

During this same time period, I switched jobs. I've blogged about my issues with my job before, so I'll spare you the details again. Suffice it to say, I get myself into real trouble when I fly off the handle and make decisions on my own.

So, while we were still working through issues with my grandmother and I was getting acclimated to my new job, my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. I've previously blogged about this as well, but apparently, despite what the doctors had said two years earlier, they had not gotten all of the cancer. Instead, it had spread to his liver. When they found it, the cancer was at Stage IV, and there was nothing the doctors could do for him. He passed away three months later.

I so wish I could end this little vent session there, but I can't. Over that next year, my mother had a very invasive surgery, W. had recurrent problems with his asthma, my paternal grandmother passed away, and George's grandmother passed away. And, that was 2007.

Unfortunately, 2008 hasn't proven to be much better. Already this year, both my mother and my brother were diagnosed with liver diseases, my maternal grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and W. has been sick, too. Now, once again, I know that in the midst of all of this, we've been blessed. My grandmother's prognosis is excellent, and we're hopeful that my mom and brother will respond to their treatments.

But, it just keeps coming. In just the last couple of weeks, W. has been showing signs of stress. I feel that I need to spend more time with him, but I don't know where to get the time. I'm completely swamped at work. And, I can't get anything done at work because I can't stand it there and feel guilty for not being at home.

And, now my mom is really sick. She is having symptoms that mimic a stroke and has such severe headaches, she can't get out of bed. Right now no one was what is wrong with her, but it looks serious. And, to tell you the truth, I can't handle it. I have no energy left. I'm empty. Completely empty. In fact, I'm so empty, I can't even pray. I try. But, I don't know what to pray. I have no words. I find it slightly ironic that I can't pray now. I'm still really new at this Christian thing. Up until recently, I dealt with all of these problems the only way I knew how. With my own power. But, now I'm trying to give it to God, and I'm trying to pray. But, I can't. I have no words. So, if you read read this, would you say a prayer for me? I obviously could use all the prayers I could get. And, if you're still reading this, thanks for letting me vent.

Fear, Control, and the Art of Delegation

2008-04-15T19:06:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like spring may actually be here. It's going to be almost 60 degrees today! I'm excited about that. This winter has been brutal, and I am ready for it to be over. I'm ready to get rid of anything that reminds me of winter, including my now overgrown, winter hair-do. That's right chicas, I have a hair appointment tonight, and I am thrilled. And, if you have had to sit near me recently, I know you are thrilled too. I admit it. My hair has been looking a little scary these days. Kind of like a cross between a skunk and Sasquatch. See, I told you. Scary. Very scary.

Anyway, if you know me well, you know that I change my hair, including its color, approximately once every three months. When someone asks me why I do that, I generally respond with something like, "Because it is one of the few things in my life I can control."

Ah, control. There's a concept. And, once again, it is no surprise to those who know me well, I like to be in control. I mean, generally speaking, my attitude is usually, "Let me do it. Because if you're going to do it, I'm just going to have to do it again anyway." Because, obviously, I am the only person in the whole world who can do it right. ( e.g. when I want it done and exactly how I want it done.)

Over the years, many people have benefited from this attitude. For example, when I had to do group projects in school, people clamored to be in my group. Why? Hello, because I'm so cool. OK, or maybe because I would do all the work. After all, they might mess something up, and my GPA might suffer. Unfortunately, however, this attitude didn't stop when I got out of school. Oh, no. What about W.'s school projects? After all, if I didn't spend hours "helping" him write his one paragraph, fourth grade English papers, making sure that there were no grammatical errors (split infinitives are our enemy), wouldn't that reflect poorly on my parenting ability?

If you would have asked me then, I would have told you that the only person who didn't benefit from my attitude was myself. After all, I was the one who was doing ALL the work. After all, I was the martyr. What I didn't realize then, and what I still don't always realize now, is that while I was correct, I was not benefiting from this attitude, deep down, I sure thought I was. I mean, I was "in control," right? And, isn't that exactly what I wanted?

Unfortunately for me, and for those who live with me, I still haven't completely learned my lesson. I am, with God's help, however, making some progress. For example, recently He has been showing me why I feel the need to always be in control. For me, it comes down to two things: fear and pride. Ultimately, I am afraid that everyone else will let me down. I fear that the only person I can count on is myself. If I don't look out for myself, no one else is going to. But, for me, there is more to it than just fear. My pride also craves control. I want everything to be done, and I want it done as perfectly as it can be. I don't want anything to reflect poorly on me. After all, I need to have it all together, or at least look like I do, don't I? (Yes, I know how silly that sounds, and, yes, I know how ridiculous those thoughts are, but that somehow doesn't stop me from having those thoughts. Delusional, I know.)

I really am in a season right now where I feel completely out of control. And, the more I try to "take control" of any given situation, the more out of control I feel. Right now, I feel out of control in just about every area of my life. And, for someone who needs to be in control, let's just say, that's not pleasant. It's kind of like having a permanent anxiety attack.

And, it's not just me. It seems that my prayer list keeps getting longer and longer these days. All around me, I see people who are in pain, people who are struggling, people who aren't in control of things going on in their lives. I find myself asking God, "why?" Why can't these women I know, or in some cases women I wish I knew, be free from these struggles? Why can't they just be in control of their lives so that everything can be exactly the way the want it to be? Why can't they be free from heartache and pain? And, why can't I have a magic wand to waive over my life and their lives? I mean, I would say bippity-boppity-boo and make everything better. I really would .

So, as I was whining to God about all of this, I felt Him ask me a question. I felt Him ask me, "What do you think you are controlling in your life now?" So, I started thinking. Well, my to-do list. I control my to-do list. But, then God reminded me that I neither control what is on my to-do list nor what actually gets accomplished on that list. And, He is right. When I tried to take control of my to-do list at work last week, I ended up leaving work early two days because W. got sick. So, I tried to think of something else I control in my life. My child, nope. My family members, nope. (Well, maybe George, but shh, don't tell him...) My boss, nope. Other drivers on the road, definitely not. But, come on, there has to be something I control, right?

And, then it hit me: my hair! I control my hair. But, I was shot down there, too. "Really, you control your hair? What do you plan to do to it tonight?" Um, well, good question. Whatever my stylist decides to do to it. She makes all the decisions about my hair. So, I guess she's in control of that, not me. And, as I thought about it, I realized that I do delegate control over my hair to my stylist. I do it because she is the expert when it comes to hair. I do it because I trust her. I do it because I know her. After all, she's been doing my hair for almost a decade.

And, then the light bulb slowly flickered on in my mind. Although Nicki is the one who styles my hair, God put those hairs on my head. He even knows how many there are. So, while Nicki may be my earthly hair expert, God is my heavenly "me" expert. And, while I'm not in control, He is. So, I guess the question is, "Do I trust Him, and do I know Him intimately enough to know His plan is best for me and for those I love?" On an intellectual level, I do know those things, but I have to admit, I'm still a work in progress. It is still is so much easier for me to rush ahead with my plans (you know, just to help Him out) than it is to wait on God. Patience, if you haven't already guessed, is not one of my best character traits. But, I'm trying to be patient, and I'm trying to relinquish my desire for control.

Most of all, however, I'm thankful. I'm thankful that Ephesians 2:10 tells me that I am God's masterpiece, even if I am a work in progress. I'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me no matter how many times I attempt to be in control. I like to think that God's up there in Heaven, sculpting me into something good. I like to think that he is sculpting me into someone who each day is a little more trusting, a little less prideful, and a little closer to Him. And, since God is the master artist, maybe He'll even give me some really great highlights while He's at it. *wink*

Random Shallowness

2008-04-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: If you are looking for a deep, intellectual post, you have come to the wrong blog. It's Friday, I'm tired, and as a result, my brain is not functioning at full capacity. If you are in the mood for complete, random shallowness, however, please continue reading.

In no particular order, the following random topics have entered my mind this morning.

1. Vanilla Ice was arrested yesterday. Now, for anyone who has been reading this blog commentary on my life for awhile, or for any of you who just know me all too well, you know that I have a strange fascination with Vanilla Ice. (Well, I have a strange fascination with a lot of rap music in general.) And, "Ice, Ice Baby" is my karaoke standby. Well, that, or "Bust A Move", or anything by the Beastie Boys, or, well, whatever. The point is that I like to sing "Ice, Ice Baby"...a lot. I know all the words. And, I have to wonder if Ice got arrested on A-1-A Beachfront Avenue? Yes, I did just call him Ice. That's my nickname for him. What? In my world, we're peeps. Does it matter that he doesn't know that? I think not.

2. The evils of Prednisone part 1,000,000. I'm still on Prednisone, and I still am having hot flashes, or "sweating" as the Internet called it. Yep, I looked up the side effects of Prednisone on the Internet, and sure enough, on one of the websites, it indicated that Prednisone could cause "sweating." And, Honey, let me tell ya, that there Internet article was written by a man. Sweating does not begin to describe the misery of Prednisone. Simply put in fifth grade math terms, sweating is not equal to HOTFLASH. But, really, I'm not complaining. I like looking like I haven't showered in a month. It's a good look for me, really. It kind of reminds me of when Nirvana and grunge were "in." So, I guess you can say, I'm bringing grunge back. Maybe you should try it, too. Just don't throw your neck out of place trying to headbang. I've heard that is painful.

3. The evils of Prednisone part 1,000,001. Apparently, in addition to inducing a menopausal like state, Prednisone also makes your face break out with a hundred million zits. OK, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration. The point is that Prednisone is obviously a miracle drug. I, mean, what other drug can make you become a thirteen year old, menopausal woman? And, that girls, is priceless. Anyone have any Clearasil or Sea Breeze they want to share? We can have a slumber party and paint each others nails with Cutex nail polish. And, we can walk around with Noxema on our faces while giggling over the latest issue of Tiger Beat. If we get bored, we can TP the boy up the street. Because, after all, he's dreamy.

4. Since I have been having all of these skin issues, I've busted out every skin care product in my bathroom cabinets. And, wow, I have a lot of skin care products. In fact, I think I have something from nearly every skin care brand. I wish I could tell you which ones actually work, but I can't. You see, I suffer from a disease called SCADD, also known as skin care attention deficit disorder. I like buying skin care products, and I don't even mind using them. Once or twice. But, if I haven't seen results by then, well, it's over. I mean, after all, I should have seen results when the nice sales lady swiped my debit card and put my purchase in the bag, right? Instant results, isn't that how it's supposed to work? Imagine my surprise when I found out that you actually have to use the products in order for them to work. They tell me that's a delusion caused by the disease. I'm trying to get help, but I could use some from you, too. What skin care products do you use that actually work? Preferably ones that work quickly. You know, like yesterday.

5. The joy of Prednisone. Well, with all the undesirable side effects, it's about time I can claim a positive one. Apparently. Prednisone can cause weight gain. Rapid weight gain, even. Like several pounds in a few days. That's great. I thought it was all the cookies I ate. But, now I know, it was just the Prednisone. At least that's my story, and I'm stickin' with it.

6. Personal trainers. I've been meaning to hire a personal trainer for awhile now. But, it takes a lot of energy to interview personal trainers, especially when I could just eat cookies. Don't get me wrong. I do want a personal trainer. One exactly like Jillian from the Biggest Loser. She's amazing. And, maybe if I find a trainer like Jillian, I can look like Ali, too. Can we just say "girl power." I'll be tuning in Tuesday to see who is this season's Biggest Loser. And, maybe if I've found a personal trainer by then, I'll be able to watch it without eating cookies. I guess we'll just have to see. Because I'm watching Miss U.S.A. right now, and I'd definitely be eating cookies if I had them (or cookie dough, if someone would share.)

Well, that's probably enough random shallowness from me for one day. I hope you all have a great weekend.

God Stop

2008-04-10T12:48:00.000-07:00

"Heather will do anything for a t-shirt," is a common saying in our house. George tells me that every time I come home with a new t-shirt from some event I've been to, or when "mysterious" charges to non-profit organizations appear on our bank or credit card statements.

For example, I rode this ride at the Iowa State Fair last summer so I could get the t-shirt that proclaimed I had survived my ride on the Skyscraper.

I rode it when a thunderstorm was moving in, so I think it is safe to say that I have some issues. And, even though I wasn't in Tennessee (where this video was taped), I'm pretty sure you could have heard me scream in Tennessee. But, I survived, and I got my t-shirt.

Now, I've also been to many, many concerts in my day. And, yep, you guessed it. I always get a t-shirt. I have so many t-shirts that I have an entire dresser devoted to them.

But, I don't get just get my t-shirts at the Fair or concerts. I have also gotten t-shirts by walking many, many miles for a lot of different charitable organizations. I have also gotten t-shirts by serving at many different events for myriad organizations. And, when I walk to raise money for cancer, or I volunteer at an event to raise awareness and to help the refugees from Darfur, I obviously get more than a t-shirt. I get the wonderful opportunity to be a part of something that is helping others, and I love that.

So, while I guess it is true that sometimes I will do anything for a t-shirt, other times the t-shirt is just the added bonus I get for helping someone else out. I mean, I'm the type of person who will order something from every child who comes to our door peddling something. Even if that means I end up with several Entertainment books or more cookie dough than I should eat. (I was going to say could eat, but that really wouldn't have been true...I can eat a lot of cookie dough!) And, I will donate to your cause, especially if you catch me on the telephone. I think I am totally incapable of saying "no" to cute children, or, even worse, cute old people. (I also like the Home Shopping Network, but that's a post for another time...) In other words, I'm an easy mark. You can see me coming from a mile away. I have a capital "S" tattooed on my forehead. Which, as my friend Cindy told me, obviously stands for "saint." *wink*.

Now, you are probably wondering, "Why is she rambling on about this stuff?" Well, that's a very good question. You see, you need to understand this background information, so you can understand my latest God-Stop.

When we walked into the Women of Faith conference a couple of weekends ago, I had said that I really wanted to buy a new tote bag and a water bottle. But, I was too lazy to stand in line right then, and I thought I'd come back later during a break. While we were sitting in the conference, Mary Graham started to give a presentation about World Vision, and she asked that everyone consider sponsoring a child. Now, we already sponsor one child through Compassion, so I wasn't exactly listening. But, then this happened. Mary Graham said to the audience, "If you sign up to sponsor a child this weekend, you will receive a World Vision tote bag and a water bottle." WHAT?!? A tote bag and a water bottle? You have to be kidding me, right? And, I immediately thought to myself, "Are you there God? It's me, Heather." I mean obviously God was there, and I thought He was trying to tell me that I needed to sponsor a child.

So, the next morning, I decided I would go "look" at the World Vision table. You know, just to see. Because, after all, maybe I was blowing what had happened the night before out of proportion. Maybe God wasn't really trying to tell me that I needed to sponsor a child. Maybe it was all in my head. So, I went to the table. And, who came rushing up to see if I needed any assistance? The cutest older woman I had EVER seen. She called me "honey" and patted my hand. Clearly, she was too much for me to resist. I was completely overwhelmed by her. All 90 pounds of her. And, while this may seem silly, it was confirmation to me that I was, indeed, supposed to sponsor a child.

So, we are now the proud sponsors of Yvonne, a seven year old girl from the Congo. And, I think that is exciting. But, I'm even more excited that the God of the universe would show His will to me by speaking my love language. Even if that language is a water bottle and tote bag wrapped up nicely by the cutest old woman I have ever seen.

Stricken and Afflicted

2008-04-08T19:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, ya'll. I'm STILL sick!! I'm trying very hard to maintain a good attitude, but it is getting increasingly difficult to do. The good news is that, for the most part, I can breathe out of both nostrils. My sinuses are less bad Botoxyish, which that is good. But, my throat is still sore, and it still hurts to talk. But that's not the worst. I mean, hello, get a load of my new symptoms. Last night I was trying to sleep, and we all know how much I like my sleep, when I was rudely awakened by a pain in my left foot. Well, at first, I thought that it was just a cramp, and I tried to ignore it. But, obviously, hell hath no fury like a left foot scorned. And, I'm not even Daniel Day Lewis. Instead of going away, though, my foot started to throb. It also felt like it was on FIRE. Seriously. Like it was burning from the inside out. So, I did what any other sane, sleep-loving person would do. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Remember that scorned thing? Yep, you guessed it. The pain only got worse. I woke up two hours later to a throbbing, burning feeling, moving further up my leg. And, the pain, girlfriends, was EXCRUCIATING! I was freezing cold, and the pain was so severe, I had the shakes. (And, truly, I am not exaggerating. At all.) In fact, the pain was so bad, it rates right up there with the pain I experienced giving birth to W. And, don't forget, I had a C-section without an epidural. So, I think you get the point. So, what did I do? I headed straight for the Vicodin. And, then I tried to go back to sleep.

The Vicodin helped a little, but I figured I probably should go to the doctor. So, I did. I guess viruses can do strange things, including causing nerve problems. Hence the leg pain. And apparently, this pain can last up to a week. Great. Just what I wanted. (Trying to have a good attitude...) The doctor put me on Prednisone to help with the pain.

Which brings me to part two of this little saga. The evils of Prednisone. I took my medicine exactly as my doctor ordered, and let's just say, it had some, um, undesirable side effects. Side effects that were not listed on the insert. I mean NO WHERE on the insert did it state that Prednisone causes early onset MENOPAUSE!!! Uh huh, laugh if you want to, but homie ain't playin'. I had all the symptoms. Headache, fatigue, irritability, and hot flashes. HOT FLASHES!!! Seriously. Well, it was really like one, six hour hot flash. I mean, I turned the air conditioner on in my office and turned it down to 60 degrees. My secretary wouldn't even come in my office because she thought it was so cold in there. And, ladies, if I would have guessed, I would have said it was at least 120 degrees in there. Alright, 85 degrees might be more like it. But not a degree less. Not one degree less. I was sweating so much, I looked like I had run the Boston marathon. And, if I would have have burned the million calories I would have burned if I had run the Boston marathon (assuming I would have survived the marathon, but we won't talk about that), I wouldn't be complaining. But, I didn't. Instead, I only burned approximately 60 calories. 20 by repeatedly fanning myself with my legal pad, and 40 from repeatedly picking my pantyhose off my sweaty backside. Someone, please tell me menopause won't be this bad!!!!!

Guess what? I'm so excited. I have eight more days of the Prednisone. I can't wait!! I'm thrilled. Can't you tell I'm thrilled? And, I really am trying to have a good attitude. Really. Obviously, I could use some prayers. Lots and lots of prayers! And, for those of you wonderful women I will see tomorrow night at book club, I could also use some chocolate. And, some Secret, preferably clinical strength.

Why I'll Probably Never Succeed at Blogging

2008-04-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm alive. My sinus infection hasn't killed me, and my nose isn't running any more. So, I guess that's saying something, and I would guess it had to do with your prayers. Today, I suffered through another day at the office. I prayed really hard all the way to work this morning, asking God to help me have a good attitude today. And, he is faithful. I made it through the entire day and only thought about leaving germs on my boss' stuff once. A major victory, if you ask me. And, I'm hoping to be able to breathe out of both nostrils soon. I know you were waiting for that information.

Anyway, other than my little health update, I really have nothing to blog about. My weekend, as I predicted, was filled with Kleenex and TV. Very exciting. Really. During commercials, I would talk to myself in order to ascertain if my voice still sounded raspy. You know, a la Sophia Loren. My friend from college didn't end up visiting, so on Saturday I made comfort food. And, if I can ever figure out how to link, I might even share the recipes. (OK, I definitely would share, especially since I got them from other, wonderful blogs!)

Ladies (and George), that was the extent of my weekend. And, as I am sitting here trying to figure out what to blog about, it dawns on me. I will probably never succeed at this blogging endeavor. My life is just too boring. I read a lot of wonderful blogs; blogs with witty and engaging posts. But, here, you get a yawn. Seriously. You don't believe me. OK, this was my day today. Got up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head. (Sorry, I couldn't resist). I was in my office by 7:00 a.m., and I spent the majority of my day arguing about what the words "other than" mean in the context of an exclusion contained in an insurance policy. (Yes, I'm serious. Bored yet?) Drove home. Debated dinner options with George for what seemed like an eternity. Helped cook dinner, ate dinner, and cleaned up the kitchen. Spent an eternity with W. solving for X. Yelled at W. to finish his homework, to brush his teeth and to get to bed. Tried to watch the end of the NCAA championship game. And, now, here I am. Exciting, isn't it. And, tomorrow I get to do it all over again.

So, since that's all I have to say (because there is no more to say), I will leave you with pictures of my monkey. Remember, Grand Master Monkey? I told you I have a stuffed monkey. And, you thought I was kidding. Ha! So, here is Grand Master, hanging out with Melissa's monkey at Women of Faith. Judge for yourself, but I think they were having a lover's quarrel.

"I love you."

(That's Grand Master on the left. Doesn't he look fierce?)

"I can't believe you!"

"Let's talk about this."

"Hmmph. I'll just eat chocolate."

Well, with that wonderful monkey skit, I bid you all a good night. If my sinus infection hasn't killed me by tomorrow, and if Priscilla Presley doesn't ask for her face back, I might be back tomorrow. Maybe I'll have something to blog about...

Alright, That's It. I'm Moving!

2008-04-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

OK, I've had it. I am SOOO sick today. My sinuses are so swollen, I look like I've had some bad Botox injections! And, my throat hurts and my nose is running. I tried to call in sick today, but I was told I needed to come in anyway. I guess that's the bad part about having a job where you have no established sick leave policy. Please pray for me today. Not just because I'm sick (although that would be awesome), but also because I'm walking around my office, doing my best to leave germs all over my boss' stuff. Yep, that's right. I have a rotten attitude. In case you are wondering, I'm blaming it on the fever.

Oh, and I'm also blaming it on the snow. Yes, that's right, it snowed here yesterday. Last time I checked, it is April, right? Now, I know that we occasionally get snow in April, but come on. Hasn't it snowed enough this year???? This weather is enough to drive me crazy, and depending on who you ask, some might say it already has driven me crazy.

And, if I can whine just a little bit more, I was supposed to have a good weekend. I had plans to go out with a couple of my friends tonight, and tomorrow my best friend from college was coming from Illinois to visit me. But, oh no, not now. Now the only plans I have are to sit on my couch with a box of Kleenex and watch re-runs of Law and Order.

So, I've made a decision. We're moving. Where, I don't know, but I can tell you this. It'll be somewhere where it doesn't snow in April. Or, ever, for that matter. We'll start packing just as soon as I can effectively delegate that task to my boys. But, right now my throat is too sore to talk....

Women of Faith and Bodily Functions

2008-04-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

Whew! I survived a busy weekend and a VERY trying Monday. And, the nature of my Monday accounts for the tardiness of this post, but more about that later. Right now, I'm going to do my best to tell you about my weekend, but please be forewarned. I am having one of those days where all my thoughts are jumbled together in my head. It's kind of like someone hit the fast forward button in my brain, and now my thoughts are flying through at record speeds. Unfortunately, I can't interpret them at those speeds. Instead, they sound an awful lot like Alvin and the Chipmunks. And, I could never really understand them either. Well, other than the fact that they wanted their two front teeth for Christmas. And, I always thought that was a strange request from Santa Claus..But, as usual, I digress.

So, where do I begin? I went to Women of Faith last weekend with two of my girlfriends. And, can I just say, I loved them both before I left, but I love each of them even more now! They really are two awesome women, and I had a wonderful time. Oh, and in case you are wondering, I apparently neither talked in my sleep nor wandered off. Of course, that may have been because I never made it to REM sleep. We stayed up until 3:00 a.m! But, isn't that really what you are supposed to do when you have sleepovers with your girlfriends?

I think I mentioned before that I had never been to a Women of Faith conference. I'm not sure that I had any clear idea of what to expect, but it wouldn't have mattered. The conference was better than I ever expected it would be. I knew who was going to be speaking and performing at the conference before I got there. For example, I knew that Max Lucado was going to be speaking, and I knew that Nicole C. Mullen was going to be performing. And, it was their presentations and performances that I was looking forward to. Other than reading some of Sheila Walsh's books, I hadn't heard anything about the remainder of the Women of Faith speakers. And, to to be honest, I wasn't sure any of the rest of the speakers would be able to hold my attention or "speak to me." After all, they were older women who had white hair. Hello!!! Sometimes, I can be so dense, and I make my own, very poor, very inaccurate judgments about others. (And did I mention that the Women of Faith theme this year is God's grace. How appropriate, especially since I need A LOT of it.)

They were the best! They were all very joyful, very funny, godly women. There was no question about it; each of them spoke to me. I could go on and on about their funny stories and their messages, but I don't want to ruin anything for anyone else who might be going to see the conference. Suffice it to say, it is my prayer that when I get to be an older woman myself, that I be just like them. Well, with the exception of the white hair. I'm not quite there yet. But, I definitely want to be as joyful, funny, and godly as each of those women.

Of course, I thoroughly enjoyed Max Lucado and Nicole C. Mullen. I know I've told you before, but I'll tell you again, she is my favorite!!! I had never seen her in person or heard her live before, but she was even better than I imagined she would be. Oh, and she is so cute! Awesome.

But, it was over all too soon. Back to reality. Back to dealing with things mothers have to deal with. Back to dealing with dunanuhna...bowel movements. (Yes, that's my best attempt at writing out that scary music they play in the movies. You know, the music that played before the sharks appeared during the Jaws movies? Come on. Work with me here, people!)

WARNING: The following content may not be suitable for people who are eating, people who have recently eaten, people with weak stomachs, and/or people who never read the book Everyone Poops. You know, those people who will only poop at their own home, in their own bathrooms, when no one else is around. You know who you are...

Yes, I said bowel movements. You see W. has been having some problems with those over the last couple of weeks. Ever since he was really sick with the stomach flu, which apparently was the root of this problem. Anyway, we had taken him to the doctor because he was vomiting in the mornings. Who knew that constipation could cause vomiting? Well, anyway, we thought the problem had resolved itself, but Saturday morning during praise and worship I got a phone call from W., informing me that he had thrown up again. So, we followed the doctor's instructions and made an appointment to go see him on Monday. Monday came, and W. and I went to the doctor. The doctor examined W., and the good news was he didn't have an impaction. But why is it that with every bit of good news, there usually must be some bad news? And, in this particular case, there was some very, bad news.

The bad news was that I had to give him an enema. A what???? You have to be kidding me, right? Now, I understood that when W. was born, I received my badge to be an honorary member of the Poop Patrol. Like all mothers before me, I watched W's bowel movements, and proudly reported their characteristics to the doctor when he asked about them. I know, I know, just call me Sergeant Heather of the First Poop Brigade. But, I've got to tell you ladies (and George), I thought I got the opportunity to retire from the Poop Patrol after potty training was completed. But, alas, your Poop Patrol duties are never really over. So, that's exactly why I called in the reinforcements: General Great-Grandma of the First Poop Brigade. Well, that and I'm a big chicken. I had never seen an enema up close, but I knew she had. And, I knew that she still carried her Poop Patrol badge with pride. I mean, why else did she always ask if I was regular? And, she did not disappoint. She took hold of the enema situation with great authority. Well, as much authority as one could have when one is attempting to give an enema to a 100 pound ten year old. A ten year old who is as tall as you are. A ten year old whose feet are bigger than your feet. A ten year old who does not want to get into a modified version of downward facing dog pose...So, really no one had any authority over this situation. At all. Except for maybe W.

Fast forward TWO hours. Two hours later I was really wishing that Fleet Enemas came with a shot of vodka and a sedative. (What, don't act so shocked. You try to give an enema to a ten year old, then we'll talk about it. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And, I'm just kidding anyway...) But, since they don't, I settled for one Diet Coke, two Advil, and three Rice Krispie bars.

And, that, my friends, is why I didn't post last night. By the time the whole ordeal was over, I felt like I had been through the war. (Have you ever wondered what war is referred to in that saying? Anyway, I suppose it doesn't matter. Any war would do, but I felt like I had been through a big one, possibly even World War III...)

But, here it is. My long awaited post about poop. I just know a Pulitzer Prize is right around the corner. And, when it arrives, I will hang it on the wall, right next to my honorary badge from the Poop Patrol.

Omaha or Bust!

2008-03-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I've made it to the end of the week. It is FINALLY Friday, and I couldn't be happier! I'm really at a loss of things to blog about today. And, I'm a bit apprehensive to write anything else since someone (read: George) told me my last two posts were dense (which I think is code for boring). So, instead of not blogging at all, I thought I would fill you in on my weekend plans. Because, after all, I have some GREAT weekend plans!

In just a few short hours, two of my girlfriends and I will be on the road to Omaha. We are going to a Women of Faith conference at the Qwest Center in Omaha. I am really excited because this is not only the first Women of Faith conference I've been to, but it is also the only large, corporate worship event I have ever attended. So, I am completely excited. I really have no idea what I have to look forward to, but I'm sure it is going to be good!!! And, Nicole C. Mullen will be there. She is my absolute favorite.

So, I will be MIA this weekend, but I generally don't post anything over the weekend anyway. I'll be back on Monday with all the details. Have a great weekend!

Square Pegs

2008-03-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

I've had something on my mind for a couple of weeks now; something that has really been bothering me. I just haven't been able to formulate it into any type of coherent post. It appears, however, that the geekiness of yesterday's post brought the issue to the surface. So, I'm going to try to explain what has been bothering me so much lately. With a little help from some 1980s pop culture. Anyone else remember this?

Ah, Square Pegs. What a great show. Patty was always my favorite. What can I say, I guess I've always been a SJP fan. If you remember, Square Pegs centered around Patty and Lauren, two geeky girls trying to make it into the inner circle at Weemawee High School. You couldn't help but love Patty and Lauren, and in my opinion, they were much cooler than Muffy. But, Patty and Lauren never quite became part of the popular clique. Primarily because they were different than Muffy and her friends.

Now, I don't know about you, but my high school was pretty similar to Weemawee. I went to high school with 2500 other teenagers, and almost everyone was segregated into some kind of group. But, what struck me recently was that not much has changed. Although many years have gone by since most of us were in high school, cliques are alive and kicking. For the most part, we become friends with people who are just like us, and we, either consciously or unconsciously, reject people who we perceive to be different.

I mean, take a look around. We segregate ourselves along lines of race, class, and gender all the time. Now, I recognize that is generalization, and PTL, I know there are exceptions to it, but you can't dispute that the vast majority of the time, it is true. And, even after we get ourselves into these groups, we segregate further. Married vs. single. Children vs. no children. Work at home women vs. work outside the home women. "Liberals" vs. "conservatives." I could go on, and on, and on. And, dare I say it, but my experience has been that women in the church are worse offenders than those outside the church. We have even more "classifications" than women outside the church. Baptist v. Lutheran. Church vs. unchurched upbringings. We make all kinds of judgments based upon whether or not a person has had the same life experiences as we have had. Again, I realize that this is a generalization, but nevertheless, it has been my experience.

Now, don't get me wrong. I realize that it is important to have friends who are in the same life stage that you are in, or friends who are going through similar trials or issues. But, with that said, I think we horribly short change ourselves if those are the only friends we have. We can learn so much from others, even those who have had completely different life experiences than we have had. Perhaps, we can even learn more from those who are different from us.

I speak only for myself when I say that I don't want all my friends to be carbon copies of me. I can already be so self-absorbed that I make myself sick. I certainly don't need any additional encouragement to be more wrapped up in me. I want friends of all shapes and sizes, from all different backgrounds, walks of life, and places. I want friends who are wonderfully different from me. And, the more the merrier. Who can have too many friends?

Maybe that's why I didn't care for high school. I don't care for cliques. In fact, I don't care much for classifications in general. I guess I am my own square peg. I could never understand why the tuba player couldn't hang out with the quarterback, or what was "wrong" with the hippie girl on the debate team. If only their peg boards would have been equipped to handle different shapes and sizes of pegs, I think they would have liked each other. Especially, the hippie girl on the debate team. I'm sure she was pretty cool. *wink*. After all, I read somewhere that geek is the new cool. And, all I have to say, is it is about time.

I'm Going to Get You Isaac Newton...

2008-03-26T07:15:00.001-07:00

Those of you who know me well, know that I am a total nerd. I love to learn, and I always have. I loved school (and would go back and stay forever if I could), and there wasn't any class I didn't like. Except for P.E. Well, I guess I did like the tinikling unit, but I digress. The point is that I loved learning about all things, and science was no exception. I particularly enjoyed physics. (Don't make fun of me, and please don't reach through the computer to give me a wedgie...Please). But, I haven't really thought about physics since college. That's why I found it very unexpected when a physics theory popped in my head after my prayer time last night. But, I should have realized that God can teach us things in many different ways, even through physics.

So, this is how it all went down. I crawled into bed last night feeling a little down about some things going on in my life. There are many I could discuss, but this one is perhaps the least embarrassing. (And, after yesterday's post, that is probably appropriate.) I have had really good intentions since, oh, January 1st, of starting a diet and exercise plan. So, here it is, nearly the end of March, and to date, I haven't done much to speak of with regard to either of those things. The closest thing I have done is watch the Biggest Loser, which is what I did last night. And, I cried when the contestants started weighing in. (Just so you know, I blame the crying entirely on PMS.) Anyway, later that night, as I was lying in bed, I started whining (yes, I do believe that whining is the correct verb) to God about these things that I am down about. I kept telling Him, "I don't know what is wrong with me. Why can't I get it together? I pray about these things, but nothing ever happens. What is wrong with me? All these other people out there have everything together. They are dieting and exercising. What is my problem?" And, do you want to know what the response I received to my, albeit whiny, inquiries was?

Isaac Newton.

Say, what??? Isaac Newton? What does he have to do with anything??? Fig Newtons, maybe, but Isaac Newton? I don't get it???

And, then I started thinking about it. "Isaac Newton? What did he do? Well, there was that thing with the apple. You know, the law of gravity. Could that be it? No, I don't think so." And, then it hit me; kinda like Newton's apple ;) Newton's First Law of Motion, or, the law of inertia.

In its simplest form, the law of inertia states that a body at rest tends to remain at rest, and a body in motion tends to remain in motion. But, the actual Newtonian definition of inertia is much more interesting. According to that definition, inertia is "a power of resisting, by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavors to preserve in its present state, whether it be of rest, or of moving uniformly forward in a right line." (emphasis mine.) (And, I want to let you all know that I did have to look up the definition of inertia. I didn't have it memorized.) Hmm. Interesting.

And, then I started to recognize what God was trying to tell me. (At least what I think He was trying to tell me. Work with me here ;) That is me. In my fallen state, I am inert. My "flesh woman" is fighting with all her power. And, unfortunately, she has a lot of it. Primarily due to all her extra pounds. But, again, I digress. The point is, she is resisting and endeavoring to preserve in her present state. (Which unfortunately involves eating leftover Easter candy while watching the Biggest Loser and crying. So sad.)

The bottom line is that in my fallen state, I am a body at rest. And due to flesh woman's inertia, I will always be at rest. Well, that is, unless I am acted upon by an unbalanced force. Like, um, a push in the right direction by a Divine Hand! So, what I believe God was trying to tell me was that my "good intentions" will never be good enough to overcome my inertia. And, I can try, try, try all I want to "get it together", but in my own power, it ain't never gonna happen. The only way I can change from being a body at rest to being a body in motion is through God's unbalanced power. In other words, I've been looking at these issues from the wrong perspective. Instead of whining to God about how I should be able to do this, and why isn't he letting ME do this. I need to ask God to give me a Divine push in the right direction. Because with God's power I can be a body in motion. (Ha, ha. Get it ; Even though I think that this applies to more than my exercise issues.) And, as long as I have God's power, I can remain a body in motion. But, God must work through me, and not me through Him. Awesome. Isaac Newton. Who would have thought he had anything to do with me? Isn't God amazing!

So, I'm going to ask God for that divine push in the right direction. Starting with the ability to move toward the TV to turn off the Biggest Loser. I mean, after all, we all know that show is nothing more than Satan's pawn *wink wink*. But, seriously, I am going to ask God to give me a Divine kick in the backside. One that miraculously ends with me standing on my treadmill!

And, if you haven't been geeked out enough by today's post. Here are a couple of factoids to chew on. 1) Inertia comes from the Latin word for laziness. Who, me, lazy? And, 2) In addition to being a scientist, Isaac Newton was also a theologian who believed that God could be seen in all things, including science. Interesting, isn't it?

Well, in the words of Bugs Bunny, that's all folks. But, if you come back tomorrow, we'll tackle Einstein's theory of relativity. Just kidding. But, I am going to go straighten my pocket protector. *wink*.

In the Interest of Full Disclosure

2008-03-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

I am so excited. This weekend I get the absolute pleasure of going to a Women of Faith conference with two awesome friends of mine. The conference is just far enough away that we have to stay in a hotel, and I love staying in hotels! I am a bit apprehensive, however, to stay in the same hotel room with people who are not contractually or genetically obligated to love me. Let's just say that I have some issues. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I thought I better share these issues with my girlfriends. And, since I have no shame (and nothing better to blog about today), I figured, why not put it out there in blog world. So, in no particular order, here goes:

Number 5: I talk in my sleep. Not mumble, groan talk, but complete sentences, carry on conversations talk. Sometimes with my eyes open. Scary, I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm the one spilling my guts to people in the middle of the night. AND, unless you tell me, I don't know I did it. Or what I said.

Number 4: Sometimes, I sleep walk. Generally, I only sleep walk to the refrigerator where I down some Diet Coke. Did I mention that I am ASLEEP!?! I guess sleep drinking is better than sleep eating, but unless we have a mini fridge in our room, we better make sure the door is securely locked. Otherwise, who knows where you will find me.

Number 3: I love monkeys--all kinds of monkeys. I think they are awesome, and if I had a pet, I would want a monkey. But, since no one else seems to think having a monkey for a pet is such a great idea, I have to settle for a stuffed one. His name is Grand Master Monkey. Yes, for real, and he always travels with me. Hey, no laughing. Did I mention he is fierce? ;)

Number 2: I am not a morning person, but I am not a night person, either. I am a sleep person. I like it, and you better not interfere with it. (Otherwise, see number 3. Grand Master likes his sleep, too. And, like I said, he is fierce.)

Number 1: Repeat, I am not a morning person. So, I don't think I 've ever gotten up on the "right" side of the bed. That's primarily because I firmly believe that both sides of the bed are the wrong side when you have to get up. Like I said, I like my sleep. But, I never get it, or at least enough of it, so I can be a little crabby first thing in the morning. At least until I've had some coffee and/or Diet Coke. Prayer always helps, too!

I could go on and on and on. I'm a bed hog, I have to have a million blankets, which I kick off onto the floor after I fall asleep...You get the idea. Like I said, I have issues. But, at least now, they are fully disclosed. Well, almost. I'll tell you about my dreams later. I think I've scared everyone enough for one day.

By the way, is it time for a nap? *wink, wink*.

Easter Weekend Recap

2008-03-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, and I haven't blogged since Thursday. I'm a slacker, I know! Just so you know, though, I started this post on Friday. At that point, I was planning to blog about my NCAA basketball bracket. But, I could never get anything down "on paper" that sounded right to me. It wasn't that I didn't have anything to say. As those of you who know me well can attest, I always have something to say. The problem was that every thing I wrote seemed so trivial . After all, last Friday was Good Friday. And, while the fact that I finished the first day of the NCAA tournament 14/16 is pretty cool, it does not compare in the slightest to Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross. So, I decided that I would spend some time with my Jesus. And, that's what I did.

Friday night W. and I went to the Good Friday service at church. It was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. The sanctuary was beautiful (completely lit with candles), the music was beautiful, and so were the words spoken by our pastors.

Saturday I finished my last Bible Study session. For the last ten weeks I have been doing Beth Moore's Jesus the One and Only study. Like all of her other studies, this one was awesome. And, I can tell you that God is good! The timing couldn't have been more perfect, finishing this Study during Holy Week. If you haven't done this Bible Study, you definitely should! I would tell you it's my favorite, but I have to admit, I say that about all of them.

On Sunday, we worshipped at our church. I love Easter more and more every year. I think that is because with each year that passes, I increasingly realize how undeserving I am of Christ's sacrifice. I can't fathom Jesus' love for me, but I am so thankful he loves me! He loved us enough to die for us, but death couldn't contain Him. He is risen, and that is so AWESOME!

This is the first time I've done this, but here are some pictures of our little unit dressed in our Easter outfits.

Oh, in case you were wondering, on Saturday my NCAA bracket nearly disintegrated. I guess that's what happens when one gets proud of her performance the day before!

I hope everyone had a blessed Easter!

Insult or Invitation?

2008-03-20T08:12:00.001-07:00

OK, so I had Chinese food for lunch yesterday. For the most part, I will say that I am an equal opprtunity eater. I haven't met very many foods that I don't like, and this Chinese food was no exception. I had some egg drop soup, some beef lo mein, some crab rangoon, some rice, and some sui mai. Yummy. (Sorry, honey, I know you hate it when I have Chinese food without you.) Anyway, the point is that I may have overeaten, you know, just a little... And, after I stuffed myself with all that food, I opened my fortune cookie. I mean, it doesn't matter how full you are, you have to eat the fortune cookie, right?

So picture this with me, I'm sitting at the lunch table in my breakroom, trying hard to breathe, wanting to take a nap, and unwrapping my fortune cookie. After I got it out of the wrapper, I broke my fortune cookie in half, shoved one half of the cookie promptly in my mouth, and read my "fortune." I expected it to say something like, "You will live a long, healthy life," or "A closed mouth gathers no feet." But, instead, it said, "New clothes are in your future." And in the words of my ten year-old, I thought to myself, "Is that an insult?" (In case you were wondering, apparently EVERYTHING is an insult when you're ten.) Hello?? What kind of fortune is that? Now, I'm not superstitious, and before I opened my cookie yesterday, I didn't believe the sayings in fortune cookies had any mystical powers. And, now, my friends, I KNOW they don't. They are obviously written by men. Because only a man would place such a saying in a COOKIE. A COOKIE you eat after you've eaten the emormous portions of food they give you. A COOKIE that you already feel guilty about eating! A COOKIE that is worth more WW points that some of their frozen meals. No woman would ever do such a thing!

So, I did what any self-respecting woman would have done. I grunted, "Hmph," ate the other half of my cookie, and waddled back to my desk. And, after I had fumed about it for four hours, I shut off my computer, and drove straight to the mall.

Regrets and Grace

2008-03-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you don't want to get out of bed? One of those days where you just want to pull the covers back up over your head and hide from the world? Well, I'm having one of those days today. I don't exactly know what brought on this mood; all I know is that I woke up in a funk. And not the George Clinton kind. I've been trying to shake the funk all morning, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere. I don't know how to explain it other than I feel as if I am literally weighted down and exhausted. There is a pressure in my chest that makes it difficult to breathe. It kind of feels like I'm stuck underwater, unable to come up for air. Not a pretty picture. Not a pretty feeling.

Like I said, I don't exactly know what brought on this mood. I do, however, have a few ideas. Saturday was my dad's birthday. Well, it would have been his birthday, if he was still alive. But, he passed away two years ago in January. He had cancer. Cancer that started in his colon and metastasised to his liver. By the time it was diagnosed, it was Stage IV, and he had three months to live.

Three months is not a lot of time. Especially when you have a lot of time to make up for. You see, my dad and I hadn't spoken in about two years when he was diagnosed with liver cancer. There were reasons for that. Reasons that seemed valid at the time. Reasons that would still seem valid to many people, especially proponents of the "tough love" school of thought. But, death has a way of stripping every relationship down to its raw core. And, when it came down to it, I may not have condoned my father's behavior, but I did love him. I don't deny that I have many more bad memories associated with my dad than good ones, but I will tell you that it is the good ones that I remember most often. After all, he was still my daddy.

I tried to be more present after my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I visited him at the hospital while he had his chemo treatments. I helped him prepare his living will. We spent Christmas together. I helped plan his funeral. And, when it became entirely clear that he wasn't going to make it out of the hospital, I didn't leave. When we moved my dad to hospice, I held his hand in the ambulance. And I sat by his side, holding his hand, as he took his last breath. I have no regrets about any of those things. Despite all the pain involved, I wouldn't have traded any of those moments for anything.

But that doesn't mean that I don't have any regrets. Because regrets, I have more than a few. While I sat for hours on end with my dad, telling him how much I loved him, and how much I had always loved him, we never talked about the breakdown in our relationship. Even in those final days, I couldn't muster up enough courage to talk about it, and I couldn't choke out the words to tell him how sorry I was for my part in the whole mess.

But, that isn't even what I regret the most. You see, my dad wasn't a Christian. In fact, he was very outspoken in his belief that God did not exist. There were many times I felt the need to talk to him about God while he was in the hospital, but you know what, I never did it. I could make all kinds of excuses for myself. I wasn't in church, I wouldn't have known what to say, etc. And, both those things were true. In fact, although I knew about Jesus, and although I had "walked the aisle" as a teenager, I can tell you now that I had never been to the cross at that point in time. But, none of that matters. I knew in my heart I should say something to my dad, and I didn't. Over the course of the last two years, I have asked myself why I didn't say anything. A better person would have said something; you would have said something. I'd like to think I'd say something if I had it to do over again. Ultimately, the bottom line was that I didn't say anything because I was afraid. Afraid, that my dad would reject my message; afraid that my dad would reject me. Fear. It is so ugly and so destructive.

But, God is good. Despite my failure, God wanted my dad to be saved. He had my mother, my dad's ex-wife, step in to talk to my dad about Jesus. And, I am grateful that she did because he believed. One of the last things my dad said before he died was that he needed more Christ in his life. And, I'm no theologian, but I believe that he has a whole lot more of Him in his life now.

So, as I look toward Easter Sunday this weekend, I am so thankful for the mercy and grace of our God. I am thankful that He doesn't want anyone to perish and that He wants all to come to repentance. I am thankful that He chose my dad to be one of His children. But, perhaps, most of all, I am thankful that He sent His Son to die for my sins. And, He says that if I will confess them, He will forgive them. No matter how small or how big those sins are. And, for that, I am grateful.

There aren't very many days that go by that I don't think about my dad, and there aren't very many days that I don't wish he were still alive. But looking back in hindsight, I do see God's hand at work. If my dad had never gotten terminal cancer, he would have never accepted Christ. If my dad had not been given three months to live, and instead, would have died instantaneously, we would have never reconciled to the extent that we did. And, if my dad had never gotten cancer, I may have never set foot in a church. And, I may have never come face to face with my Savior.

My dad didn't have many requests regarding his funeral, but he did want three specific songs played. The last song he wanted played at his funeral was "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones. And while a day doesn't go by that I don't wish I had handled things differently with my dad, I am comforted by the fact that while you can't always get what you want, sometimes you might find you get what you need. And, I have certainly gotten what I need. Grace. And, I am forever thankful.

PS--I know that this post wasn't pretty, and I know that it was very heavy. I am reminded that my dad loved to laugh. So, if you haven't done so, please read my post from yesterday. It just might make you laugh.

Xanadu Lives...Just Not Here

2008-03-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

OK, so I went roller skating yesterday afternoon. Yes, roller skating at a real rink. Roller skating complete with ugly skates and disco balls galore. And, no, it wasn't for a school fundraiser, and no, my child wasn't even with me. (He is way too cool for that). I went roller skating because I wanted to go roller skating. And, all I have to say is "What was I thinking???" I mean, I hadn't been roller skating in at least 20 years. But, I got to go with some of my favorite girlfriends. And, what can beat hanging out with your girlfriends at the skating rink? Nothin', that's what.

You may have picked up on the fact that I try to look for life lessons in just about any experience. So, without further ado, here is my top ten list from the roller skating rink. With a little help from some 80's friends...

Number 10: When you were just a young girl and still in school, How come you never learned the golden rule. Don't talk to strange men, don't be a fool. I'm hearin' stories, I don't think that's cool. Don't talk to strangers. Especially strange men who want to talk about your "bumpers."

Number 9: Lies, lies, lies, yeah! Lies, lies, lies, yeah! No matter what your friends try to tell you, roller skating is NOT like riding a bike. Well, maybe it is. I really wasn't very good at riding a bike. So, I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on this one ;)

Number 8: Don't stand, don't stand so, Don't stand so close to me. It's been two decades since I've roller skated, and I might fall and take you out. Small children should especially heed this warning as failure to do so could result in serious injury or death.

Number 7: Whoa, we're half way there, Whoa, livin' on a prayer. If it has been more than a few years since you've been roller skating, prayer is key. Pray before you get on the rink, pray when you're half way around the rink, pray after one complete rotation around the rink. Repeat sequence as many times as necessary.

Number 6: I've been around for you, I've been up and down for you, But I just can't get any relief, I've swallowed my pride for you...I believe it's time for me to fly. It becomes a problem, however, when you can't really fly, but you are frantically moving your arms in a wing-like motion. You know, like animated characters in the cartoons. And, I can now tell you from experience, the flapping isn't gonna make you fly, and it isn't gonna keep you from falling either.

Number 5: We are the world, we are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving. There's a choice we're making. We're saving our own lives. It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me. OK, so that really has nothing to do with roller skating, but admit it, you are singing along now. And, I know you're doing the Stevie Wonder thing with your head. Don't even try to deny it.

Number 4: Say, we can act if we want to, if we don't nobody will, And you can act real rude or totally removed, And I can act like an imbecile. If you feel the need to share your hidden rapping talent with the entire skating rink, you better be OK with acting like an imbecile. Especially if you are white woman from the burbs who has no real, musical ability.

Number 3: Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical, let's get into physical, Let me hear your body talk, Your body talk, let me hear your body talk. Roller skating really is physical activity. It may not have seemed like it when you were ten, but twenty years later, let me tell you, it is. And, if it's been twenty years since you've been roller skating, you might want to increase your OS-CAL dosage, or bring a can of WD-40, because you might not want to hear your body talk. It kind of sounds like someone walking on an old staircase.

Number 2: And I'm free, free fallin, 'Yeah I'm free, free fallin'. If it's been two decades since you've been roller skating, and you don't have the muscle memory of your wonderful friends, you should be prepared to wipe out. To prevent swollen kneecaps and bruises I would highly suggest wearing knee pads. Especially, since despite the stranger's remarks about your "bumpers", said "bumpers" do very little to protect your knees. Unless, your Maxine from those Hallmark cards. Can we just say, PTL for support bras.

And, drum roll please...

Number 1: Now I've had the time of my life. No I never felt like this before. Yes, I swear it's the truth, and I owe it all to you. It's amazing how much fun you can have at a roller skating rink. I think we just might have to do it again. But, maybe I'll make use of the Saturday morning lessons before I do...

TGIF!!!

2008-03-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

It is finally Friday, Hallelujah! I don't know about you, but I felt that this week moved at a snail's pace. I must admit that I'm in a better mood now that it's Friday. And, my mood is even better because I'm off the hook. You see, I thought that I was going to have to drive five hours tomorrow for work, which I would have done, but I just found out that I don't have to go anymore. Awesome.

Well, mostly awesome. Saturday is "Get It Done" day at my house. It's the day we run ALL of our errands. We go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, the post office, the auto shop, Target (we always go to Target--Always), etc. It's also the day we do all of our cleaning. We prepare meals for the next week. We do homework. I get my nails and hair done. We shop for clothes, books, or anything else we need. I think you get the idea. No one likes Saturdays at our house because they are so HECTIC. And, I was secretly looking forward to delegating all of these responsibilities to someone else. I guess it wasn't meant to be. Oh well.

I really wish I could come up with some kind of solution to our Saturday madness. Some kind of schedule, or division of labor, that would make Saturdays more enjoyable for us. Anybody have any suggestions? Anything that works for you? If so, bring 'em on. I'd love to hear them!

Pint-Size Pushers (Also Known As Girl Scouts)

2008-03-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

I've only been home from book club for an hour and a half, and I've already devoured almost an entire box of Girl Scout cookies. Thin mints, in case you were wondering. Also in case you are wondering, I have a stomach ache--go figure. I could blame those pint-size pushers, or I could blame the devil, but the problem is really with my flesh. Especially the flesh on my hips and back side!

Anyone else out there eaten too many Girl Scout cookies? Come on, I know you're out there.

Fear, Friendship and Forgiveness Part Deux

2008-03-11T10:01:00.001-07:00

Well, everyone is now well again at our house. And even better than that, it's 42 degrees today. I'm definitely going to open some of the windows for a little while, even if I keep the heat turned on while I do it!

I did want to get back to my last post before I forgot what I wanted to say. Don't you hate that? Or, maybe it's only me...Anyway, in addition to the chapter on fear, Joanna Weaver also had a chapter on forgiveness. Apparently, this is becoming a recurring theme for me. Do you think that maybe God is trying to tell me something? *wink, wink*. Well, I know that I have been, and am, struggling with the issue of forgiveness recently. (OK, and not so recently, too.)

Without going into too many of the gory details, here is my dilemma. One of my closest friends hurt me deeply a couple of years ago. (I wanted to tell you why, but God just reminded me that it really doesn't matter, and that I only wanted to tell you why to get you on my side. Ouch! But, oh so true.) I was so hurt initially that I cut off contact with her. Over the course of the next few months, I convinced myself that my actions were not only justified, but also that I had done nothing wrong. And, you can be certain, I did not want to change my behavior. During that time period, my friend got married. I went to the bridal shower and the wedding, but only because I wanted to play the martyr. She tried to apologize during the reception, but I told her we could talk about it later. So, several months later, I called my friend and we got together for an hour or so. The conversation was light. We didn't discuss much, and we certainly didn't discuss "it." It certainly wasn't like old times, but I thought I had resolved the issue in my mind. We haven't spoken since.

I did get a Christmas card from her, along with a letter to all her friends and family. I found out from the letter that my friend was pregnant. I have to admit, the first thing I thought was, "I can't believe she didn't call me." And, then I got angry at myself. I thought I was over this. I thought I had put all of this in the past. So, I pushed it all down again. Down in the crevices of my mind where I thought it was buried for good. Well, not quite. You see, a few weeks ago I got an invitation to her baby shower. And all those feelings and emotions I had pushed down rose to the surface again.

At this point, I do think I should let you know that if I had, in fact, written this post on Friday, the events described above would have been portrayed very differently. See, they may look one sided to you (and to me, believe me), but they would have been even more one sided then. Just call me Heather of Arc. Martyr extraordinaire. I had read the chapter on forgiveness in Having a Mary Spirit, but I had only internalized what I wanted to. For example, Joanna Weaver writes about how forgiving doesn't excuse the other person's behavior, but it does make you OK. The problem was, I thought I was OK. I mean, hello, I thought to myself, "I have it all together." Oh, such foolishness.

It wasn't until I was talking with Melissa on Saturday that things slowly began to click in my mind. Melissa made a simple statement. She said, "Maybe, your friend doesn't know there is anything wrong." At the time, I was quick to retort, "Of course she knows something is wrong." But later, I started thinking about what wise friends I have. Maybe she doesn't know anything is wrong? I mean, I think she knows our relationship has definitely changed. After all, we no longer have sleepovers, and she no longer braids my hair for me. And, I think that she knows how hurt I was, but maybe she thinks I've let it go, or gotten over it. But she probably doesn't know, as Joanna Weaver said in her book (and Beth Moore talks about in her DVD series Measureless Love--which if you haven't seen it, you should. It is fantastic), that I have locked her in a prison in my heart. And as I thought about all this, I realized that that was, in fact, exactly what I had done. And, I was the prison warden, chained to the chair, right outside the prison cell; incapable of moving away. And suddenly I understood what Joanna Weaver meant when she wrote that forgiveness makes you OK. My friend has been living her life, not knowing that I have her chained up in my heart, while I have carried around this bitterness for over two years. Well, sisters (and George), it is time to let it go. I'm unsure where exactly to go from here. I don't know what the first step is in this mess. Joanna Weaver told a story in her book about a feud she had with her friend. She wrote that God told her that whenever she thought drove by her friend's home, she was supposed to say a blessing for her. Blessing. Now that's a thought. Maybe I'll start there. And if you have any suggestions or insight, I'd love to hear them. Like I said, I know I have wise friends!

Fear, Friendship and Forgiveness

2008-03-07T15:40:00.000-08:00

My wonderful (and well-read) friend Melissa recommended that I read Having A Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver. I finished it today. It was awesome, and it spoke to me. And, although it spoke to me in many different ways, two chapters I read today were particularly timely. The first one dealt with fear. Anyone who read my post a few days ago probably intimated that I am fearful of change. I am fearful of trying new things. I always have been. If I am speaking truthfully, I only like to "try" things that I already know I will succeed at. At the very least, I want the odds of success to be tilted in my favor. That's why only a handful of people I know are cognizant of the fact this blog exists--my closest friends and loved ones. Well, that was until last night. Last night I stepped out of my comfort zone and left a comment on another blog. It was a blog that I have been reading for several weeks now. One that I immensely enjoyed reading. What I didn't anticipate, however, was that in a few short minutes, the number of hits on my own blog would quadruple. All of a sudden, I was struck by a terrible wave of panic and fear. I poured over every word that I had ever written on this blog. Would these women read it? If they did read it, would they like it? Would they think I was odd, weird, or strange? Would they ever come back and visit my corner of the world again? In a word, would they like me?

Today, as I was reading Having a Mary Spirit, I came upon a chapter on fear. In it she explains that when we struggle with fear and anxiety, we must know and rely on the perfect love that God has for us. And when we trust God's perfect love for us, we no longer have to be fearful or anxious. After reading that chapter, I felt a wave of relief come over me. God brought to mind the verses that Beth Moore taught on from Ephesians where God tells us that we are blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, and forgiven. In Him, we are loved. And, as I meditated on that Truth, I felt at peace. I realized that even if none of those women, or anyone else, ever visited my blog again, it wouldn't mean that I wasn't liked or loved.

With that said, of course, I would love to connect with other women through my blog. Both women I know and with women I don't know yet. Secretly, I think I've always wanted people to read and comment on my blog. Whether that will happen or not, only God knows right now. But either way, I am secure in the knowledge that I am loved.

I know I said there were two ways this book spoke to me, but you will have to wait until later to hear about the other one. I have to go check on my precious 10-year old boy who has a stomach bug. I can't wait until it warms up and we can air out all of the germs that have congregated in our house!

World Tour 1982 Revisited

2008-03-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

I know I post a lot about music, but I do love it. Probably because I have no musical ability at all, and I mean NONE. For example, my eighth grade choir teacher asked if I could just mouth the words to our spring concert. But, I digress.

I was eating lunch today, reading the Concert Call page, and I became so excited I almost couldn't stand it. You will never believe who will be in concert here in just a few, short weeks! OK, I'll give you a hint. This duo is comprised of one Aussie and one Brit. Need another clue? They went on a worldwide tour in 1982. Still need another clue? OK, but this one will give it away. One of their biggest hits, "Lost in Love" was released in 1980. Yep, you guessed it: Air Supply!!! Can you believe it? Me either. Now some people (George) may not appreciate Air Supply. But, I do. And, I'm not ashamed either. So, maybe, just maybe there is an Air Supply concert in my future. I better start practicing my swooning. I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you....

Confessions of a Hippie

2008-03-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

So, you may know that my parents were hippies. Real, live hippies. Hippies who loved music. I grew up listening to all the music from the 60s--Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, the Stones, the Beatles, Jefferson Airplane, Dylan, the Dead...You get the idea. I loved that music. I loved that era. I wanted to live in the 60s, and I desperately wanted to be a hippie. Well, at least what my idea of a hippie was. So, for a while, I became one. (Somewhere after my acid washed jeans and my leisure suit phases). I had long hair, patchwork skirts, Birkenstocks, and all the hemp accessories one girl could ever want. And, even though I eventually stopped dressing like a hippie (primarily because those skirts do not look good on post-baby hips), I still have a soft spot in my heart for hippies. And, I'm fairly certain I could still play a mean hacky sack.

Anyway, you may be wondering why I am taking a trip down memory lane for you. Well, I just got done watching both days of American Idol from this week. (All I have to say is thank God for DVR!) I love that show, and, I definitely have my favorite contestants. Right now I'm totally diggin' Jason Castro. He, and his dreads, are totally cool, dude. He reminds me of every hippie boy I ever knew. And, I'm loving it! If you haven't checked him out on the show, you should. Not only is he awesome, but he also has a really unique voice. And, in the interim I'll try to find some pictures of my hippie stage for you. At the very least they will be amusing.

Life Lessons from Carly Simon...Sort of

2008-03-05T08:06:00.000-08:00

Whoo hoo, two days in a row. Absolutely amazing! Maybe I will make a habit out of this blogging thing yet. And, since yesterday's topic was so deep, I thought I would lighten things up a little bit today. And exfoliate, and decrease the appearance of fine lines....Ah, but I am getting ahead of myself.

So, I was listening to my ipod the other day, and, what do you know, one of my favorite Carly Simon songs came on. I turned up "Nobody Does It Better," and thought about my favorite James Bond, Sean Connery. He was, and is, so cool...and distinguished. If I do say so myself. And as I was singing along, I wondered why I didn't become a spy. Now, don't start laughing, I'm serious. I mean, after all, when I was ten I used to spy on our across the street neighbor. All the neighborhood kids knew she was trying to kill us, primarily by poisoning those muffins she baked. I mean, who has heard of oat bran anyway??? Obviously, we had to find evidence to corroborate our "knowledge." We never did come up with any hard evidence, but we did get chased out of her driveway. Maybe that's why I didn't become a spy. Hmm...Well, if I wasn't cut out to be a spy, then I wondered why I couldn't have become a Bond girl.

As you may be aware, "Nobody Does It Better" is not a very long song. By the time all of these thoughts had run through my head, the song was nearly over. So, while I was still pondering my "promising" career as a Bond girl, a new song started. And wouldn't you know it, it was "You're So Vain." Isn't that ironic, as Alanis Morissette would say. (And George, if that is not an appropriate use of irony, keep it to yourself--wink, wink).

Now for an important message from your sponsor: On the very slim chance that there is anyone out there reading this blog entry that doesn't know me, I want to tell you that I really don't think I could have had a career as a Bond Girl. Miss Moneypenny, maybe. I am a decent typist. But a Bond girl, not so much. And to the two of you who read this that do know me, I think you know me well enough to know I'm joking. (But not about being a spy, OK?) Because, after all, I am a realist. No one is going to mistake me for Jane Seymour or Halle Berry any time soon. And come on, let's face it, my name is not nearly cool enough!

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog entry: So, I was singing along to "You're So Vain," and I realized I still needed to use the remainder of a spa gift certificate George got me for my birthday last year. Hmm, what should I use it for? A microdermabrasion or a peel? A facial or a massage? I manicure or a pedicure? I thought to myself, maybe I just need a spa day, complete with all of the above. Vain, who, me? Maybe, but I prefer to think of it as preventative medicine--wink, wink. After all, I'm not getting any younger. And, you just never know when they will be casting for the next James Bond movie....

Blog Neglect and Other Random Musings on the Meaning of Life

2008-03-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

Oh my, how time flies. Here it is Tuesday, and it's been a full week since I've blogged. Total blog neglect, but, what can I say, my life simply isn't very interesting! I'm going to attempt to be better at blogging more regularly. We'll see...The sun is coming up earlier, and that does make it easier to get out of bed. Now if it would only quit snowing and WARM UP!!!! Amen? In any event, my apologies for not having posted anything for awhile. Lo siento!

So, onto more important things, like the meaning of life! Well, kind of. It's just that I have been thinking about my life a lot recently--where I am, where I've been, what I want to do, and where I want to go. Maybe because it's nearly spring, the time of new beginnings and spring cleaning, or maybe it's because I'm just at the end of my rope. But, whatever the impetus, I feel that God is telling me it is time for some changes in my life. Specifically, I feel that He is telling me two things: 1) "It's time to move on"; and 2) "Cut the crap." (OK, so I'm not sure that God uses that exact phrase, but the meaning is the same!) Now, that's all fine and good. I am definitely ready for some changes in my life, and I have a general idea of what I'm being prompted to do. The problem, however, is I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do after I make certain changes.

For example, for several months I have felt as if I am supposed to leave my current place of employment. It's no secret to anyone who knows me: I AM MISERABLE there. My work environment is insufferable, and I don't even enjoy my work anymore. I dread going to bed at night, knowing that I have to get up and do it again the next day. I have nightmares where I dream not only about work, but I also dream that people I work with are physically harming me. Some days it takes all the physical strength I have to actually get out of bed. It's like I'm paralyzed, lying there, completely unable to move my extremities. And, after I suffer all day at work, I'm utterly spent when I get home. And, then I get to do it all over again the next day. All of this stress has taken its toll on me, both emotionally and physically. Emotionally, I swing from sad and depressed to angry, and even vengeful. And that can happen in a matter of seconds. Physically, my body is deteriorating. I've gained the weight equivalent to a large toddler, my migraines are worse and more frequent, and I've made at least two trips to the emergency room with stress related symptoms, all since I started working there. Nothing that is sacred to me is sacred to these people, not God, not family, not physical and emotional health.

But, I thought that since I was here, God wanted me to be here. I thought, "There must be some purpose in this." But, over the last several months, I have felt God telling me, "It is time to move on." At first, the promptings were whispers. I would often push them out of my mind, thinking that they were a figment of my imagination. Since those first promptings, however, everywhere I go, in everything I read, watch or listen to, I see or hear something that corroborates those promptings. Over time, the promptings have gotten louder and louder. Now, instead of whispers, they are screams. As I laid in bed this morning, crying about getting up, once again, I felt God say, "IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON."

I agree with that, but here is my problem. I don't know what I'm supposed to move on to. Am I supposed to get another job in the same field, or am I supposed to move on to something entirely different? Over these last few months I have also felt that I am supposed to move. But where? I have been thinking of the South a lot, but is that only because we've had five feet of snow this winter, and I'm tired of it? It is not at all clear, and right now I'm getting silence on the specifics. Is it just me, or do you sometimes wish that God gave us all an instruction manual? You know, one that tells us where we are supposed to live, what we are supposed to do. Everything spelled out clearly for us. Maybe, it's just me and my Type A personality. I don't know.

In any event, the lack of specific direction compounds my problem. Instead of continuing to pray through these issues, or waiting on God to make the answers clear, I begin to doubt the promptings. Beth Moore once taught a lesson about being led by the Holy Spirit. In that lesson, she told a story about a friend who was awakened in her hotel room one night by a flashing red light. Her friend initially thought that God was speaking to her, but, instead, it turned out to be the light on the fire alarm. Beth's point was that sometimes God is leading us, but other times we just think it is God, when instead, it's only the fire alarm.

So, after awhile, I start to think, "Is this God, or is it just the fire alarm?" And, then I start thinking it's all in my head. I begin to think that I'm not supposed to find another job. Instead, I think that I'm weak and wimpy for not being able to handle the pressure and the stress. I tell myself that if I was only stronger, more determined, more steadfast, things would be OK, and, I stop listening to the promptings. And, initially things are good. I have a surge of "self-discipline" and "will power." I feel as if I am handing things better, even well. After awhile, though, it all falls apart, and I start sinking. Then I beat myself up for having doubted the promptings. I start listening to them again, but the same things happen. It is a nasty cycle of belief, doubt, and unbelief. A cycle that I can't quite seem to break away from right now.

I wish I had the answers. It would make it so much easier, but I realize it's not supposed to be easy. So, I'll keep struggling along, praying for more faith, and, of course, some specific guidance! But, if you have any ideas or suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them. And, thanks for letting me ramble on and pour my heart out. I know it isn't pretty, so thanks for listening.

One of Those Days

2008-02-26T13:07:00.000-08:00

So, I'm definitely having "one of those days." You know, one of those days when nothing seems to be working out the way that it is supposed to work out. Or, at least, the way I think it is supposed to work out. For example, I can't get it through my head that it is Tuesday. I continue to think that it is Monday. That's probably because my doctor knocked me with some high-powered sedative yesterday morning, due to one nasty migraine, and I slept through it--all the way through it. My mix up in the days wouldn't be such a problem if it weren't for pesky little things called deadlines and/or appointments. For example, since I thought it was Monday, I forgot that my ten-year old had a lunch meeting for one of his ELP activities today. So, I not only forgot to send him a cold lunch, but I also forgot to pack his binder with his presentation materials in it.

I also, due to my oblivion toward the outside world, did not realize that it had snowed. So, I stepped outside this morning onto my not shoveled front porch, wearing peep toe heels. All I have to say is very cold, very, very cold.

I also can't seem to concentrate on anything today. Instead, I just want to crawl into a ball and take a nap under my desk. Unfortunately, I think they might miss me. I've been drinking water like crazy to help me stay awake, but it's not helping. I'm still sleepy.

My sleepiness from the sedatives is compounded by the fact that I ate comfort food for lunch. You know, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and macaroni and cheese. It was fantastic, at first. You see, because I was sleeping yesterday, I didn't eat anything, and thought I was famished. But what I didn't realize is that I had a bad case of enlarged eye disease--where your eyes are bigger than your stomach. So, now I'm not only sleepy, but I also want to unbutton my skirt (Unfortunately, also not appropriate...).

And on top of this, it still feels like a Monday!!!! Today, I just can't win. Here's to a better Tuesday. Oh, I mean Wednesday!

Busted!

2008-02-21T08:53:00.000-08:00

OK, I am so busted. 900 bright yellow flyers have a tendency to give away a surprise. You see, it's that time of year again. It's time for the Spring PTA pancake event. And, I'm the chair of that event. That means that I will be helping out with the pancakes. And, that also means that my most precious, wonderful significant other will be there helping, too. (Yes, honey, that is definitely me sucking up to you!)

At this point, you might be wondering why I am proclaiming that I am busted. Well, that's, um, how do they say it, complicated. It's complicated primarily because I was supposed to get us out of pancake duty this time. We have chaired the pancake event the last three times, and SB, "Sausage Boy," (A.K.A. George) is tired of serving greasy sausage and even more tired of cleaning up gallons of maple syrup. I try to remind him that we are doing it for the kids. I mean, after all, everyone knows that they are our future (Ooh, bad Whitney Houston reference...Sorry!). But more importantly, we do it for one extremely excited ten-year-old boy. And, that is what saved me from Sausage Boy's wrath last night when I asked him to go to Kinkos and make 900 flyers for the pancake breakfast. Well, that and the fact that he loves me. As Sally Field would say, He really, really loves me! In fact, he loves me enough that he made all 900 copies, and after only a little complaining, didn't say anything else about helping out with the pancake breakfast. So, I guess we're on. I did promise, however, that next year I wouldn't sign us up for the pancake dinner. But, I didn't promise that I wouldn't sign us up for something else. (Wink, wink!) Just kidding. After all, I do want to see my fifth grader graduate from elementary school!

So, bottom line: Today I'm thankful that Sausage Boy loves me. I don't know what his secret attack would be (Is it painfully obvious I only have boys around???), but I fear it might involve maple syrup. And, I wouldn't want to have to get that out of my hair!

Roller Coaster of Love

2008-02-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

Whew! I can't believe it's been almost a week since I last posted anything. (Sorry, Melissa!) I wish I had some really great reason why I haven't posted, but I really don't. Just exhaustion, or maybe just laziness...Hmm, I guess that might be a matter of perspective. Anyway, here I am.

In case you were wondering about the hostile takeover, I survived the battle. My mother should be boarding her plane shortly. But, I didn't survive without some major battle wounds. My mother and I didn't make it through the entire visit without getting into a major argument. It happened Monday night, and it started over something relatively insignificant. But, it really doesn't matter why we were arguing. We just were.

My mother and I have not always been very close, but we've tried harder in the last several years. We definitely haven't always had a very good relationship. I guess you could say that we have baggage...lots of baggage. And, even though most of that baggage is from the very distant past, it somehow pushes its way to the top every time my mom and I argue. What makes it even worse is that it isn't pretty baggage. In fact, some of it is very ugly. So ugly, that when it gets brought out into the open, it conjures up such awful memories and feelings, that I can barely function. First, I get angry and indignant, and then I get sad.

So, my question is, how do you lay your baggage down? I mean I thought I had forgiven my mother for these things, but now I'm wondering, have I really forgiven her? If I have forgiven her, why do the memories still have such an affect on me?

What makes everything worse this time is that she is leaving before we really get an opportunity to work through this issue. And, now that she's leaving, I'm feeling a whole different slew of emotions. I feel guilty for all of the things I thought and said about and to her. I remember good times we had together during this visit. And, it just stinks!

I don't know if you have issues like this with anyone in your lives. Maybe I'm the only one? You see, with me and my mother, it's like we're on a roller coaster. Our good times are really good, but inevitably, our bad times come, and when they do, they are really bad. And often it feels as we are going around and around the same upside down loop. I don't exactly know what the solution is. I just know that I want to try to get off the ride, and on to something else. Like maybe the skylift. It's high off the ground, but it's level, and it's always moving forward. I don't know. Maybe the skylift isn't possible for us, but I'm hopeful. And even if my mother and I will continue to ride the roller coaster together, I'm encouraged by the fact that despite whatever else it might be, it is a roller coaster of love.

Yes, I do have that song in my head, and now so do you! Roller coaster of love, roller coaster, ooh ooh ooh...